One, One, One Post In Two

Hey! Anybody here grow up reading Highlights?

You know, Highlights. The kids' magazine. I couldn't wait for them to come in the mail. I think my favorite section was the hidden pictures. I just tried one online. Oh, SIT, as The Pony might say. I only found 12 out of 16. And even after the hints, it took me another ten or fifteen minutes to find the remaining four. I don't think they gave us enough practice on those things in Valedictorian School.

Anyhoo...my second favorite part of that magazine was Goofus and Gallant. Am I the only one who wanted to smack Gallant and mess up his hair? Goody-two-shoes, running with his scissors pointed down! Oh. Wait. I'm sure Gallant WALKED with his scissors, while Goofus sped through the house, scissors pointed up, just daring fate to put an eye out. I know we were supposed to get a different message, but sometimes ya just gotta go with the bad boys. Most of the time, however, I viewed them all smug in my smugness that I was Gallant, and my sister the future ex-mayor's wife was Goofus. After all, she was the one who ran in circles, tethered by her upper arm in Mom's vice grip, to escape the wrath of Mr. Wire Flyswatter Handle.

Today, Val pays homage to Goofus and Gallant with two vignettes from her interactions around Backroads this weekend.

GALLANT
Today I went to a local grocery store looking for minced garlic. I forgot it at Walmart, and Thevictorian kitchen is about to be as fresh out of minced garlic as the Jerk Store is out of their best seller, George Costanza. I wheeled my too-big cart up and down the aisles. I bought french bread, grape tomatoes, a variety pack of chips for my school lunch, sugar-free Jello, and BBQ sauce.

At the check-out, the girl asked how I was doing. I told her I couldn't find minced garlic anywhere. I looked on the produce aisle around the onions. I looked on the condiments aisle around the peppers and horseradish. I looked on the Italian aisle along the sauces. I looked on the spice aisle along the garlic salt. No minced garlic.

AND SHE TOOK OFF TO LOOK FOR IT!

Left me right there conversing with the checker behind me who was counting out her money. She thought it was on the condiment aisle, but my runner found it in the produce, at the end of the bin containing bananas. Go figure.

So she got to ringing up more of my order, and found a hole in the bottom of the bag containing my french bread. Did I want to get another one? Yes. Yes I did.

AND SHE TOOK OFF TO GET ME ANOTHER LOAF OF FRENCH BREAD!

Kudos to the GALLANT checker! There just might be a letter to the manager about her above-and-beyondness.

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You'll have to tune in tomorrow for the rest. This ol' cow can't be givin' away so much milk for free.