Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Val Is a Proponent of the Law of Averages

Ahem. Let the record show that Val Thevictorian submitted three unsung masterpieces yesterday, and along with the one she sent off last week, she is on schedule to meet her goal of two submissions per week for the month of November.

Whoa! Stand back! I wouldn't want the glare from the reflection off my fingernails I have been polishing on my lapel for the last 24 hours to blind you. If that happened, I daresay you would be hard-pressed to keep up with such an arduous regimen of two submissions per week for the month of November, what with having to first learn to read and write braille.

Yes, Val is skipping merrily down the primrose path, plucking submissions from a wicker basket, strewing them all willy-nilly across the blogosphere. She's scattering submissions over the bedspreads of newlyweds in assorted honeymoon suites throughout the land, for aesthetic purposes, of course, not that they'll be doing any reading. Plenty more submissions where those came from...VAL'S HEAD! Uh huh. Val has enough submissions to weave a garland to drape across the shoulders of the steed who wins the Kentucky Derby next May, with more than needed left over to fill the Stanley Cup in June.

It didn't hurt that Val is not good with history, and assumed that Veteran's Day is always on a MONDAY, her vast store of common knowledge reinforced by the dinner held at her school Monday evening to honor our veterans. So Val got down to brass tacks, pulled out all the stoppers (oops, this is not about cut-class brandy decanters) stops, and kicked it up a notch to ensure that her submissions were ready to slip into the mail Tuesday evening on the way home from work. You know. The first day of mail service for the week. Except that Veteran's Day was TUESDAY. So technically, Val could have taken another day. But she didn't!

Anyhoo...three submissions are in the mail, last week's went out over the innernets, and by cracky, Val is pleased as punch that she has met her goal so far.

Excuse me while I go ice the arm that I was using to pat myself on the back.

7 comments:

  1. I hope your submissions are accepted. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

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  2. Have you seen the call from monkeystarpress.com. ?They're looking for babysitter stories and tales of tantrums.

    Two submissions a week? I have submission-envy. Keep it up. (I'm still waiting for that book signin' of yours.)

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  3. One uppin' me? I try to do seven per month...with the operative word being TRY. Good luck, and I hope you receive acceptances on all of them!

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  4. How could the editors NOT be blown away by the writing of VAL. I'm seeing val in hardback and looking forward to that book signing.

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  5. Stephen,
    You are just the sweetest thing! Don't go getting arthritis on my account.

    *****
    Sioux,
    I saw that, but as usual, I misplaced my note about it. I'll look it up again. Not that my perfect children would know a tantrum if it bit them in the butt, of course.

    I believe your envy is misplaced, Madam. And you might as well let your long white beard flourish if you're waiting for my book-signing. Not that I'm calling you hirsute...

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    Linda,
    Well, I have a feeling you don't limit yourself to the month of November. So I figure you're still 76 ahead of me by the end of the year. I'm hoping for success with one. I'm a realist, not a dreamer.

    *****
    Leenie,
    Is this a riddle? Let's see...how could editors not be blown away by Val's writing...um...they have taste? The book signing pipe dream belongs to the Madam above, or that alias she uses: Sioux. One of these days...after I've had my fill of ellipses...and have more free time on my hands...I shall pursue a lengthy project. I foresee that happening in about one and five-eighths years.

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  6. Wow! I gave up on being published decades ago. Fame is such a fickle goddess. (I had to go back and correct my misspelling of a certain word in that sentence.)

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  7. Catalyst,
    Let's not start polishing a Pulitzer just yet. I've only been published in four anthologies.

    As far as your misspelling...I'm going to assume it's the 'f' word. But you know what happens when we assume...

    Do you like ellipses?

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