Tuesday, March 9, 2021

Val Was ROBBED at the Gas Station Chicken Store

Hang on! No need to form a posse to avenge fair damsel Val. Don't be so hasty. Backroads is not a hotbed of crime. We may find a headless body in the occasional septic tank, but there hasn't been an armed robbery for a couple of years, and that was on the parking lot of Country Mart at closing time.

This was at 2:30 in the afternoon, INSIDE the Gas Station Chicken Store. I'd just stepped through the door. Only one customer was inside, paying Rainbow Feather at the counter. She was leaving, so I squeezed by her to go down the aisle to the soda fountain. Usually I go down the middle aisle and curve around the back. With no other customers to nudge past, I used the most direct route.

I was halfway to the dispenser of my magical elixir when I heard her.

"Oh, here's a lucky penny! I'm going to pick that up to scratch with."

OH, THE COINMANITY!

I turned to see a medium-sized old-lady rumpus waving in the air as she plucked that penny from the linoleum in front of the men's restroom. NOOOO!!! I'm not sure I could have taken her in a tussle. I'm not very stable on my bone-to-bone knees, and she looked fairly sturdy. I guess that penny was meant for HER... but I wanted it so bad I could taste it. And it tasted like Diet Coke, about an ounce of which I swilled from my full cup before putting the lid on the other 43 oz.

No need to shed a tear for Val. There was actually a happy ending. Which you won't hear about until Saturday.

8 comments:

  1. God bless that woman. I am sure you could take her out.

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    1. If I backed her into a corner, and threw my ample rumpus around, she would be in a world of hurt!

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  2. Had I been with you, I am pretty sure I could have talked her out it. If that failed, the two of us could have taken her. It is all about determination, or is it intimidation?

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    1. You could not only have talked her out of it, but she might have dug into her change purse and given us MORE!

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  3. That's just plain bad luck. If you had made your usual way around, would you have spotted that penny before she did?

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    1. No, it was up against the front wall as I walked in. The minute I stepped through the door, it was behind me. So I wouldn't have seen it until I was at the register, facing the front of the store, no matter which route I took. The shelves block the view of that area from the soda fountain.

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  4. The penny might have tasted like the men's restroom floor.

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    1. I haven't tasted a floor penny yet! But Hick ate a grilled hot dog he dropped on the porch where my little Jack gets his treats... and sometimes pees on the cedar siding.

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