My Hair is Not a Windshield

Hick is in a tizzy! He had words with the insurance adjuster today. Not good words.

During the cold snap, Hick started SilverRedO one morning, and a chip in the windshield branched into a crack. Since the weather has warmed up, Hick called to get the windshield replaced. He first called the office of our insurance company of 30 years. The office manager told him that he needed to call in his claim, since she does not handle such things.

Hick had been to see Mick the Mechanic, his auto repair shop of choice. It's five miles from home, he gets worked in conveniently, and he trusts the guy's work. In previous windshield claims, Hick used a business near his old workplace. Then, too, he would have to call for claim approval.

Mick said the cost would be $430. Hick called another place that said $390, but he prefers Mick to handle his auto repair needs. I don't know if Hick is being reasonable about all this or not. I know as little about mechanics and windshield replacements as I do about irony and world geography.

Anyhoo... here's Hick's tale:

"I was at Mick's, and we got on his speaker phone to call the insurance company. I got some young guy who said that insurance would only pay $280 for a windshield replacement, and I'd have to take it to one of their approved shops, and pay the difference. 

I told him, 'No. I pay for NO DEDUCTIBLE on glass. It's in my policy. I'm not going to pay that.' The Young Guy asked Mick if he'd replace my windshield for $280, and Mick said no.

 

Then Young Guy said I needed to check several places for estimates. I told him no, I was not doing that. I have my mechanic, and that's where I want my windshield replaced. I'd had enough. I told him,

 

'I'm done with you!'

 

'No, you're not.'

 

'What do you mean I'm not? I'm not talking to you anymore!'

 

'Well, what do you want me to do with this claim?'

 

'You can roll it up and stick it up your [RUMPUS]!'

 

That's when Mick hung up the phone. I called our insurance office, and our gal could tell I wasn't happy. But like she said, she can't do anything with claims. She said I'd have to call them back. I did, and asked for a supervisor, and they kept giving me the runaround, and no supervisor. I finally got a guy's voice mail, and I left my message.

 

About 40 minutes later,  a WOMAN returned my call. She was very polite, and said the Young Guy shouldn't have told me that, and that my claim would be taken care of. That I can take it to Mick, and they'll pay his rate, and I won't owe anything. So I guess that's over now."

"Of course it was a woman! I'm sure she's a specialist who deals with problem people. They didn't just fall off the turnip truck. Think how many years the insurance company has had to do studies on how to pacify people to keep from losing their business. They know most men won't be such a hothead with a woman, and won't tell her to stick something up her rumpus.

They probably reviewed our account. Sheesh! We have EVERYTHING with them! Five cars, homeowner's insurance, the umbrella policy. We've had hardly any claims over 30 years. Just the hail damage on the metal roof, hail damage on T-Hoe, and... um... the total replacement of The Pony's Rogue after his wreck. We've paid them a lot more than they paid us. Besides, we pay on time every six months, and we've never missed a payment. You can't tell me that everyone's been paying their insurance during the last year! I doubt they'd risk losing a paying customer of all that stuff over just a couple hundred dollars in windshield replacement."

"Yeah. That was my next plan. If they hadn't resolved this, we'd be looking for a new insurance company."

"Why wouldn't you just get that windshield company that comes to your place and puts it in?"

 

"Because I don't want my windshield replaced in a parking lot! I want Mick to do it. It's like when you get a haircut, you pay to get it at that place. But I can get a haircut for $10!"

 

"Terrible Cuts? It costs $13.99. Believe me, it is NOT a fancy haircutting place!"

 

"You took the boys there, too!"

 

"They had kids' rates. Besides, you never offered to take them to the barbershop for a $10 haircut. You made them stand on the back porch while you used the clippers. You almost cut The Pony's ear off!"

 

"My point is, you go to the place you know will do the job right, even if it might cost a little more."

 

"MY HAIR IS NOT A WINDSHIELD! It doesn't get a good cut, believe me! I'd like to know of a cheaper place that could cut a woman's hair. And don't say your barbershop! Your reasoning doesn't even make sense. But if we actually pay for no deductible on auto glass, then I guess you're right in refusing to pay."

 

So... SilverRedO will be getting his windshield, and Hick will be getting satisfaction, and the insurance company will be paying for both.