Tuesday, I stopped by the home of my sister the ex-mayor's wife. I had a donation to giver her for my niece's daughter's fundraiser for the American Heart Association. Sis had called to ask if I wanted to donate. Sure. She furthermore had emphasized that MOST PEOPLE were donating on Facebook. Not this ol' Val! I only have a fake Facebook, so I can get into the casino's Facebook and see what slots the jackpot winners were playing (by looking at the slot behind them holding their big check). Sis said she GUESSED that a donation of currency would be okay. What is the world coming to when paper money is frowned upon???
Anyhoo... when I parked Dirty Dirty T-Hoe in the ex-mayor's precious pristine driveway, I noticed four fake flamingos stuck in the yard. SIS HAD BEEN FLOCKED! By the band of the local high school, of which we are both alumni, and where Sis retired from, and where Niecy teaches. Sis explained the band's extortion attempt fundraiser to me.
"Somebody pays to have the flamingos put in your yard. If you donate $25, they will come and get the flamingos, and never bother you again, and you can pick where the flamingos go next. If you pay $15, they will come and get the flamingos, and MIGHT bring them back if somebody pays to send them to you."
"What if you don't pay anything? Do they leave the flamingos?"
"I don't know. Maybe."
"Well, I'd just take one look at those flamingos that appeared in my yard, and say, 'Hey! Free flamingos!' and take them in my house. THEN what are they gonna do?"
"I don't know. Most people wouldn't do that."
"They're not very smart if they just leave flamingos in the yard for the taking. Maybe they need to think this fundraising thing through a little better!"
Surely I'm not the only person in the world who would not take kindly to this extortion! It wasn't even a good flocking! Only FOUR flamingos. Three blue, and one pink. It's not like there were HUNDREDS of flamingos stuck all over the yard.
I think what Sis really needed was a good FORKING! I'd be more likely to pay for that, and wouldn't steal the forks, even though I prefer a good smooth white plastic fork to a metal fork, and wash and reuse my plasticware.
I think that is pretty funny, but only if you were a known donor and maybe part of a group. If it was done randomly I might just think "What the flock" and keep them.
ReplyDeleteI guess the organizers are too trusting. They could TP the houses, and people would pay to have it cleaned up, and wouldn't steal the toilet paper.
DeleteI'd keep them, start a collection.
ReplyDeleteHick could sell them at his Storage Unit Store!
Deleteyou are too funny. My knees wouldn't allow me to bend that long to fork a yard.
ReplyDeleteMy knees wouldn't allow me to pick up four flamingos to hide them in my house! I'd have to use one as a cane.
DeleteWell at least I'll know what's going on if a flock of flamingos suddenly appears in my yard. Although, being so far away, it's unlikely.
ReplyDeleteI think the overseas travel to plant the flamingos, and to pick them up later, would cut into their $25 profit.
DeleteWhy is there only one girl flamingo and 3 boy flamingoes? That is my concern.
ReplyDeleteShe is either very lucky (if they are on their best behavior, competing for her affection) or very unlucky (if she has to clean up after them).
DeleteI like flamingos so I would keep them, but they might get painted!
ReplyDeleteThat's the chance a flamingo takes when it gets left in your yard!
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