Friday, October 2, 2020

The Lyin', the DISH, and the Hick Phone

Sometimes, Val has a real story to tell. A beginning, sequential events, and an ending. Other times she gets sidetracked, and meanders down a pig trail, stopping to root for truffles along the way. THIS TIME, Val is all about refusing to let a classic title reference go to waste.

The past seven days have been fraught with distractions. Not the good kind, like, "LOOK! A squirrel!" THE UNIVERSE has been conspiring with Steven, Evening out real or imagined high points in Val's recent life. Can't say as I blame THE UNIVERSE. It's going to take a lot of inconveniencing to whittle down that magnificent casino win at the end of a June.
 
THE LYIN'

Anyhoo... I was discombobulated on September 24, to get a notice on my phone that I had a bill due THE NEXT DAY! At first I thought it was just about my DISH bill, which IS due on the 25th of each month. But I was smug in the fact that I'd already paid it. Besides, my phone does not pop up a mention to me.

I investigated further. I remember the dates, because I was at the casino that day, and that's where I saw the notice. I discovered that the bill in question was for Sirius XM Radio. Huh. That's odd. We have it in T-Hoe, A-Cad, and The Pony's Nissan Rogue. I pay it on a yearly basis. By a check in the mail, once I receive the statement. None of this monthly automatic withdrawal nonsense for me! I'd barter a couple of cedar logs, and throw in a big rock from our retirement nest egg down behind the house if I could.

Anyhoo... The Pony scoffed at me. Pooh-poohed, even. "Mom. Your phone knows all your business. That's from Google. You must have set something as a reminder."

"No! I don't want Google to know ANY of my business! It's NOT Google's business!"

Anyhoo... without getting into details here, I discovered that I did NOT owe Sirius XM anything the next day. Lying Google! Their rip-off billing scheme in small print on my old statement stated that I must notify Sirius XM BEFORE the due date, if I wanted to discontinue service. Otherwise, it would continue, and I would be billed for it until they decided to pull the plug. I got the statement [due in 30 days] TODAY (Oct 1), and sent it right back in the mail.

THE DISH

From here, we go to problematic DISH Network. The bill-withholder. Takes 10 days to get a statement to me after the posting date. And another 10 days to show my credit from the returned payment. That bill is due on the 25th of each month. This month, I got my statement on the 21st. Not even Hermes, giving his tooties a break by riding Winged Pegasus, could deliver payment in time! I went online the 21st, to make a one-time payment. And still, their "updated" website said it might take TWO DAYS for my payment to be credited!

THE HICK PHONE

As if those two snafus weren't enough, I was awakened at the Not-Heaven-ly hour of not-11:00 by a phone call from SPRINT . I don't want to talk to SPRINT, calling on my landline because my cell service is crappy inside my house. Good thing I listened for a message, because it was HICK! His cell phone was broken, and he was trying to get it fixed, and needed to know the street I grew up on to get into the account. Take THAT, Google! No SPRINT info for YOU!
 
Hick said his phone hadn't been receiving texts. Bad for a guy in the junk-selling business. Then his phone went black while he was at the Storage Unit Store. Looked like it was in airplane mode, and he couldn't get it to come on. [I guarantee you Hick isn't in the FBI!] He took it over to Bill-Paying Town to the local SPRINT store. Waste of time and patience. A boomer on the street would be just as much help fixing a cell phone.

A couple hours later, I got a call on the landline from some woman I didn't know. Good thing I answered, because it was HICK, calling on his cancer girlfriend's cell phone. He was taking her to the city for her pre-surgery VIRUS test, and was stopping by his favorite SPRINT store (sad that we have so many dealings with SPRINT that we have a favorite store) to see if they could fix his phone there. They could not. So Hick bought a new phone, which will hopefully get him through a WHOLE year this time, before breaking down. He replaced his LG Stylo 5 with an LG Stylo 6. He's still getting used to it, though you might think it would work in a pretty similar fashion.

That's Thevictorian Family Newsletter for now.

6 comments:

  1. I get an email reminder about my internet bill about a week before, then I check on the day and the money has gone from my account. I get a text message on my phone to tell me my credit runs out at 11:59:59 and the date, so that's one second before midnight and usually a couple of days ahead so I have time to buy a pre-paid recharge. I always expect them and they always arrive and that's it for me. No fudging around, no unexpected surprises. I hope your next month goes as smoothly as mine.

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    1. I'm still not sold on switching to internet billing. Just last week, our internet went off for no reason at all, right in the middle of my morning session on HIPPIE at the front living room window. Forget trying to connect with SPRINT service on my cell phone!

      Sadly, our sad, sad, mail service is the most reliable of the three! I don't want my money taken automatically, and I don't want to be suddenly unable to pay it over the internet or phone.

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  2. Next thing you know he will be getting one of those new fangled new technology jet packs to attach to his wrists and he'll be zooming all around backwoods.

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    1. Yes, if he can get a bargain on one at Goodwill, or the auction, and if The Pony can explain to him how to use it!

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  3. These are all problems I would make HeWho deal with. I am delicate, you know!

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    1. Oh my gosh! I would never let Hick deal with the bill issues! I rule the checkbook with an iron fist! Which hasn't stopped him from buying a whole lawnmower without telling me...

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