Hick Gets Stabbed In the Back By His Own Knives

As far as I know, Hick does not have a petard. I suppose they're in short supply at Goodwills and auctions. So I know that Hick cannot be hoisted on his own petard. He can, however, be stabbed in the back by his own knives.

You may recall that Hick previously had problems with some items being stolen from his Storage Unit Store. He installed security cameras. He has gone theft-free since then. Until Sunday.

"I lost two knives today! And not little pocket knives, either! They were this long!" [Hick's arms indicated a 12-inch knife.] "One was a Crocodile Dundee knife!"

"I thought you had cameras now."

"I DO! When I reviewed the tape, it happened just a foot or so out of view."

"They probably knew that! Probably saw the cameras."

"Yeah. He might've. And knew he wouldn't be on it if he couldn't see himself in the camera. He had just talked to me about a knife, too. I put them back in the case and turned to talk to another customer. When I turned back, I had two knives missing!"

"They probably planned it. One to distract. Is it the same guy you thought took your pistol?"

"Surprisingly, no. But he's been in my store before. We almost caught him!"

Then Hick commenced his tale. I must say, I was on the edge of the short couch the whole time. But only because I was ready to get up and go check on supper.

"They actually stole from more people than me. They stole a coat from a lady down the row. They bought a coat, but she had two gone. They also tried to steal a purse. The lady who runs that locker saw the gal walk out wearing the purse. She said, 'You need to pay me for that purse.' And the gal acted like she just forgot, and paid for it.

A lady came in and heard us talking, and said, 'I just passed a guy in the parking lot that took two knives out of his sweatshirt when he came out the gate. I figured it was something he bought.' I started after him, and my buddy from the next locker, and his son [adult, 35-40]. We were telling him to come back, he needed to pay for my knives. Them thieves took off in their little car. Didn't even stop at the stop sign. Sonny hopped on his motorcycle and chased them. He forced them off the road before they could get on the highway."

"How did he force them off the road?"

"He's got a big motorcycle! And it was a little car. The woman was driving, and she got scared. He kept cutting across her front bumper, and she pulled over. They said they never stole nothin'. So Sonny didn't get the knives back. But we got their license plate and called the police. The police said unless we actually SEE them put something in their pocket, or walk out holding it, there's not much chance of convicting them. They could say they found it laying on the ground."

"How much were the knives worth?"

 

"$25 each! I give $40 for the pair of them. So I'm out $40."

 

Maybe these particular thieves won't come back, after being chased by a vigilante who's done some time. At least the Storage Unit Sellers will be aware of their shenanigans, and follow them around their shops, or ban them from entering. I'm pretty sure the ne'er-do-wells will be outnumbered by the proprietors they've stolen from. Hick might want to stock up on pitchforks and torches.