Perhaps I should have changed yesterday's title. Looks like the MWF Ghost came for an extended stay.
THIS Monday, which was Christmas Eve, I wiped off my glasses with half a Bounty Select-A-Size paper towel. I carefully set them on my glasses case as usual, noting that the time was 5:15 p.m. We were leaving at 5:30 for dinner at my sister the ex-mayor's wife's house. As I started upstairs, I told The Pony, who was laying on his gaming couch:
"I just wiped off my glasses. I really hope they aren't smudged next time I check. Because I made SURE not to touch the lenses. Only the side pieces."
After some raucous festivities at Sis's house, we returned home shortly after 11:00 p.m. I went down to my dark basement lair, where I've been keeping the lights on. It was 11:28. I sat down and picked up my glasses by their side pieces. I held them up to the light. There was a fingerprint on my left bifocal!
I call it a fingerprint, but it wasn't like I could see the whorls, or a forensics expert could run a check on the criminal database. It was a smudge, though, like part of a fingerprint. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?
When I got ready to leave my lair for the night, and go sit in my OPC (Old People Chair), I again wiped off my glasses, making sure they were totally without anything on the lenses. I again touched only the side pieces, and set them down on my glasses case.
Christmas morning, I told The Pony, "YOU go down and get my glasses for me. Bring them out to my OPC, so I have them for opening gifts. Check them first, to see if there's anything on them."
When I got downstairs, The Pony said, "Uh...you probably don't want to hear this...but there's something on your glasses."
Yep. A smudge on the left bifocal.
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UPDATE TO THE UPDATE:
The Pony just came into my office as I was typing the update. It is 7:26 p.m. on Tuesday, Christmas evening. The Pony has been asleep on the gaming couch since about 3:30, with a pillow over his head. His glasses were laying on the coffee table in front of the couch. I'm sure you have guessed by now that when he woke up, THERE WAS A SMUDGE, AS IF A FINGERPRINT, on the left lens of his glasses!
"That was NOT on there when I took them off for my nap!"
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UPDATE TO THE UPDATED UPDATE:
I was standing in line at Country Mart today (Wednesday), with a cart containing two packs of Sister Schubert's rolls, a bottle of Blue Cheese Dressing, a loaf of Ozark Hearth 21 Grains and Seeds Bread, two six-pack bottles of Diet Mountain Dew, an 8-pack of mini Diet Coke bottles, and an 8-pack of mini Sprite bottles, plus a bag of butter-flavored Puffcorn for The Pony...when he sent me a text:
"You won't like to hear this, but I could've sworn I saw something standing in your office when I went by it to the bathroom."
"NOOO!!! I just got chills."
It was a bit creepy, descending the stairs to my lair once I got home shortly after 2:00. Hick was gone to buy ax handles. The Pony was in town to scam some wi-fi from McDonald's to load game updates. He had turned off the TV (we leave it on to fool robbers, don't tell!). The day was dark and dreary. I didn't notice anything amiss, other than the scent of the peaches and cream candle The Pony and I had been burning in the basement last night. He saw this morning that it was still burning, and blew it out.
My lair smelled strongly of the extinguished candle. I didn't get a creepy vibe at all, though. I set down my lunch of a can of Sardines in Mustard Sauce and a slice of bread, and my 44 oz Diet Coke and two bubba cups of ice, turned on my under-desk heater and New Delly, and sat down in my broken-armed rolly chair. The moment of truth had arrived. I picked up my glasses, which I had painstakingly cleaned before leaving them on the open case last night.
Please disregard my linty mouse pad and two acetaminophen for later pain management and the water spots on my purple bubba cup to focus on THE SMUDGE ON MY LEFT BIFOCAL!
Well. That was a bit disconcerting, but not totally unexpected. Good thing I hadn't yet heard the full story, straight from The Pony's mouth.
"Yeah. I was walking to the bathroom, looking down at the floor. When I got to about the TV [little one used for gaming when they were kids, on a cart across from the NASCAR bathroom], something caught my attention in your office. I glanced up, and saw a dark figure. Maybe as tall as halfway up that poster." [about 5 feet high]
"Was it over by the poster?" [on the back wall]
"No. It was right here." [just inside the door]
"Was is solid? See-through? Moving?"
"Not really solid."
"Like a miasma?"
"Yeah. I guess that's the best description of it. When I looked right at it, it wasn't there."
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Draw your own conclusions. Twirl the crazy-finger if you must.
Who was left handed?
ReplyDeleteNo twirly finger from me.
OH, miasma...I learned a new word!
I may be retired, but I'm still a-teachin'! Genius is left-handed, but I'm pretty sure he's not driving here from Kansas City every night to prank me. I don't know of any other left-handers, aside from the Ex-Mayor. He doesn't have a key.
DeleteNobody I remember in the afterlife was a lefty.
Then you're being spooked by a stranger.
DeleteYeah. A stranger that uses a variety of tactics. I didn't even mention the sudden toppling of the empty-box tower The Pony had constructed as he unwrapped his Christmas gifts.
DeleteThe Pony had already moved from the floor (scene of the unwrapping) to the couch. It was about 20 minutes later, while we were randomly chatting before I started our Christmas dinner cooking, that the Unleaning Tower of Boxes toppled. The Pony's eyebrows shot up. "Did you see THAT?"
I did. But I figured that sometimes, boxes just fall over. Even if nobody is near them, and the room isn't drafty, and no one has left their seat to walk across an unvibrating tile-over-concrete floor.
I was just going to say . . HEY! Judy, that's not funny! Wait a minute. Judy's in the kitchen. So who blew on the back of my neck? I am not liking this time of year.
ReplyDeleteNobody's a believer until it happens to them!
DeleteI have been trying to replicate the smudge, wiping the glasses, laying them on my glasses case, picking them up immediately to see if it's something on the case touching the lens. Nope.
I have determined that the smudge is on the OUTSIDE edge of the lens, not on my face side. Last night, I put the glasses on top of New Delly's tower, not on the glasses case. We'll see what's there (or not) when I go down to my lair later...
Wanna come live with me? There's no bifocal smudging miasmas here. Only one casino though, and a long way to go visit The Pony at Christmas.
ReplyDeleteIf I could teleport, I would at least come for an extended vacation. I'm not a good traveler, though. Just ask Hick!
DeleteOne casino is better than no casino. We already go a long way to visit The Pony, but this might be a deal-breaker.
I'm glad to say everything's normal around here, whatever normal is!!
ReplyDeleteI hope the smudging miasma doesn't become my new normal!
DeleteCreepy! My mother used to visit after she died. Not in a comforting way, she was angry and accusing. A couple of times I woke HeWho she hated most, but he was oblivious to her presence. She did the same to me sister (she was mad at both of us when she died). My sister finally hit on the solution and we both told her we would tell our Dad if she didn't stop. It worked. My dad has visited, but it is always comforting. Your "spirit" seems to need to use your glasses!
ReplyDeleteThe Pony and I both have a little bit of the "shine" as termed by Dick Hallorann in "The Shining." Hick has almost none, and Genius maybe 0.0001 percent, if it was measurable. So it doesn't surprise me that HeWho was oblivious.
DeleteI don't know what does the mischief around here, but it doesn't feel menacing. It's just startling. I like to be able to reason and explain things, and this I can't.