It's no secret that Genius likes his liver, and his liver likes alcohol. It must! Because it keeps processing whatever Genius gives it, practically like he's still on his college liver. Genius has a bar in his apartment, too. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and Hick has his own BARn, you know, even though he doesn't utilize it often. So... a bottle of alcohol (or 12) is a welcome gift for Genius.
Okay, I'm just joking with that 12 bottles of alcohol. Yes, I DID get Genius 12 bottles, but they're those little airline size bottles, in a Jack Daniels gift set, with 8 different flavors in 12 bottles. Which means some flavors have two bottles. One of them unfortunately being Fireball, which I learned on CasinoPalooza 3 that Genius's liver doesn't really stomach very well. Anyhoo... I forget all the others, but I'm pretty sure they also included vanilla, green apple, maple, regular, black label and something else. I'm not unwrapping it to tell you.
The main gift I had in mind, though, I saw at The Gas Station Chicken Store back in October. It was a boxed set of Crown Royal with two tumblers or whatever you call whiskey glasses, which had the state of Missouri on them! So I filed that away in my Christmas gift mental notes, intending to pick one up later.
I DID purchase such a gift, on December 17th, but ended up feeling sorry for near-Christmas-birthday-boy Hick not having many presents, and gave it to him the next day. Hick is a collector, you know, and likes alcohol-related glassware for his BARn.
Anyhoo... I knew Genius wouldn't be coming to unwrap gifts until December 30th (TODAY!), so I was in no rush to pick up another such Crown Royal box for him. In fact, it wasn't until December 23rd that I was out running around, buying prizes for the Christmas Eve gamefest at the home of my sister the ex-mayor's wife, with saved-all-year Christmas cash in my pocket, that I decided to purchase (heh, heh, I first typed that as purshase, as if I'm a lush and slurring my words!) the Crown Royal for Genius.
I was in The Gas Station Chicken Store, standing in line with my 44 oz Diet Coke, looking at two of those gift sets on the shelf. Huh. I didn't want to try and carry it with my magical elixir, because dropping either one on the way to T-Hoe would be a tragedy. Nor did I want to make another trip back in, because I was tired from prize-shopping and ready to get home for lunch. So I figured I'd come back the next morning and pick it up.
Well. I bopped into The Gas Station Chicken Store, cash in hand, to buy my whiskey at 11:30 a.m. on Christmas Eve... AND THEY WERE OUT! Not a box of Crown Royal on the shelf. I guess a lot of people must have a 24-year-old son coming home for Christmas whose liver likes whiskey! I even asked the clerks if they were all out, not even having the good sense to feel ashamed to be seeking whiskey at 11:30 a.m., since I am a teetotaler. They referred me to the Man Owner, and he said that he was sorry, but yes, he was out.
I went about my other business, and upon returning home, shared my tale of woe with Hick. Who, after some major stinkeye on my part, said, "Well...I guess you could give him mine." But really, did I want to be...um...one of those people who give someone something, and then take it back? No siree, Bob!
I knew I'd seen the same thing in Walmart a couple weeks ago, but we were headed to Sis's Christmas Eve dinner, and Walmart would be closed on Christmas Day, and no way was I going to Walmart on the day after Christmas. Long story about to get longer... I went on Friday, and was glad to see that Walmart still had four of those Crown Royal gift boxes with the state of Missouri glasses. But they all looked like THIS:
Uh huh. The tops were open! What's up with THAT? Did somebody buy them and return them because other people's kids' livers didn't like Crown Royal? Or was it a malfunction with the glue at the Crown Royal Gift Box factory? Come to think of it, The Gas Station Chicken Store had taped down the box lids. I remember, because they had three boxes on the shelf when I bought Hick's, and I checked all three of them, looking for one untaped.
Anyhoo... Hick wrapped that box of Crown Royal for Genius yesterday. He'd better like it!
Contributing to the delinquency of a not minor, are you? That is a hot seller on cruises when the ship is in port.
ReplyDeleteNot-guilty as charged! Upon unwrapping it, Genius replied that the holiday season is great, because you virtually get free glassware with every bottle of liquor, and that he and his house-buddies in college stocked their bar that way.
DeleteDid you get the opened box for Hick? If it is just for collection it shouldn't matter.
ReplyDeleteHick selflessly donated his own box to Genius, and took the one with the open flap. But in retrospect, I think they all came that way, because Hick's original box from The Gas Station Chicken Store was taped shut, and you don't normally see tape on a product on the shelf.
DeleteLike joeh, I think you should get a replacement box for hick. I don't know what sort of booze my sons like, one drinks wines and beers, the other wines and whiskeys, so both sons got gift cards from a bottle shop. They can choose their own according to current wants for the next few months.
ReplyDeleteYes, Hick has his own box. He even wrapped his former CLOSED box for Genius. He's not lacking for collectible alcohol memorabilia in his BARn!
DeleteI offered Genius some cards for a wine bargain, but he said he's good for wine right now. Your sons can get what they want, good deal all around.
I have learned to go ahead and get those gift items when they present themselves, lest I find myself having to hunt for it.
ReplyDeleteYou'd think I would have learned that lesson by now, but sadly, I have not.
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