Saturday, December 1, 2018

Val Has a Sixth CENTS

TUESDAY, November 27th, Val found herself in that backwards episode of Seinfeld. Which is not a good thing. That is my least favorite episode. No, I didn't fly to India to be in a wedding, having once slept with the groom. But I DID have to think back about all the interconnected minutiae that put me in Orb K to find my pennies! Since I don't like that backwards episode, I'll start at the beginning.

It was shortly after noon when I headed to town for my 44 oz Diet Coke. That was my only mission. That, and dropping the payment for A-Cad in the drive-thru mailbox at the dead-mouse-smelling post office. Time was short, since I needed to get home and eat my lunch of a can of sardines in mustard sauce with a slice of Ozark Hearth 22 Grains and Seeds Bread, then start Hick's supper at 3:00. He needed to eat between 4:30 and 5:00, so he could make it to a Christmas program. We were having baked ham, roasted potatoes/carrots/onions, and Sister Schubert's Rolls. I guess you could term it Val's FOURTH Thanksgiving dinner.

Anyhoo...I had just parked at the gas station chicken store when I realized I'd forgotten to go farther uptown to mail the bill. Oh, well. I could let my 44 oz Diet Coke ride along for that. It's not very far, and the temp was 20-something. So not a lot of cola warming would be happening.

The Man Owner cashed out my scratcher winners, and informed me that the new ticket I had requested was out, and he was right that moment opening up a new pack. "I know you don't like the first ticket in a pack. Do you still want it?"

"NO!"

I took a different ticket, thanked him for letting me know, and headed back to T-Hoe. Wasn't THAT a fine kettle of fish? I'd not wanted to go inside another store, what with the cold wind, but this really left me no choice, since I wanted that new ticket that had just come out the previous day, which nobody had yet when I was in town. It was really cold, though. Did I HAVE to have that ticket today? Was it worth getting out again?

I drove the A-Cad payment to the mailbox, visions of my Pony visit dancing in my head, joined by anticipation of our upcoming CasinoPalooza 3 with Genius. I fought the wind while reaching the envelope out the window to the snout of the mailbox. I heard it hit bottom. Real bottom. No other envelopes softening its fall. The mail gets picked up there at 11:00 a.m. I figured it would be fine until the next day. We're actually a month ahead on that payment anyway, due to a snafu and misunderstanding after the down payment three years ago.

At the stop sign by the funeral home, waiting to pull out on the main drag again, I clicked through three radio stations looking for a good song. Wouldn't you know it! I heard the opening strains of "Holes in the Floor of Heaven." I'd know it anywhere! That's the song that reminds me of my mom. So I got to listen to it while I drove back past the gas station that Hick says has slot machines, the old license office, the old bowling alley, the mushroom factory, Casey's, and The Gas Station Chicken Store. I hit the first light yellow, but had to stop for the second one. All the while questioning whether I really wanted to stop at Orb K for that new ticket.

I did. But while sitting at the red light, my eyes on my favorite parking space, I saw a maroon pickup truck pull through Orb K's gas pumps, and slide into my spot! Oh, well. I could park around on the end. Nope. I couldn't. A car was in the last spot. Alrighty, I'd park just around the sidewalk, by the air machine. Nope! A white work truck was backing out of it, but stopped to talk to another white work truck, which put them in my way.

I parked mid-sidewalk, and hurried inside, with the wind trying to unsnap my heather green baseball-style jacket. No pennies for the taking. Once inside, I waited behind two customers, looking at the scratcher display to find that new green ticket. Aha! They had it. Of course I can't buy just one ticket. While the clerk was bent over tearing off my selections, I bemoaned the fact that my penny-quest was being thwarted by Even Steven this week.

WAIT A MINUTE!


See that? Yeah. I know. I barely noticed it myself. A face-up 1982 Lincoln. If Abe had been a snake, he coulda/woulda/and probably shoulda bit me!


Pennies are so hard to see on Orb K's floor! It's like they're camouflaged for their natural habitat. I mumbled to the clerk, who was working up a stinkeye at me with my phone camera focused on her floor (she probably knows full well how slovenly are her fellow staff). "Just taking a picture of this lucky penny I found!" I think that unruffled her feathers, seeing as how I was either NOT a Secret Shopper, or a Secret Shopper really good at lying.

I headed back outside to T-Hoe, willing myself not to throw my own stinkeye to the dude sitting in the pickup truck in my rightful space. What's THIS then?


Halfway to T-Hoe, I spotted a penny that was not there when I went inside! Talk about the proper timing!


This was a face-down 1974. I would not have found either Abe at Orb K if I hadn't stopped at Orb K. Which I wouldn't have done if I hadn't had time to mull it over while driving back from the post office. Which I wouldn't have done if I'd remembered to go there before The Gas Station Chicken Store. Which might have been farther into the new-ticket roll than 000 if I'd gotten there after the post office.

I swear. This day was like a backwards "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie."
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THURSDAY, November 29th, I stumbled upon another surprise penny at Country Mart. Again, it was not there when I went in. I look for those things, you know!


There it was, face-down, disguising itself as a blob of tar on the sidewalk! You can't fool this ol' Val! If a penny is in the vicinity, she'll sniff it out! I set down my bags of individual chips, Ozark Harvest 22 Grains and Seeds Bread, Hawaiian Sub Rolls, bananas, scratchers, and Diet Coke to capture my precious 1990 Lincoln.


Val will leave no penny unclaimed! Unless it's way up under a gum and candy rack, where she can't bend her decrepit knees to reach it.
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FRIDAY, November 30th, my world was rocked with the discovery of THREE PENNIES, each at a separate venue.


Almost as if it was MOCKING VAL for the statement she typed up above, on the day before...a penny was spied hiding out under the gum and candy rack in the Backroads Casey's! I waited patiently for my turn, but wouldn't you know it, an overachiever stepped up to the register to the left, and said she'd help me! I waited and waited, trying to drag out the transaction for my scratchers until that booted dude left.


When I turned to check again, I was thrilled to see my rightful penny still there. I got a closeup of that 1971 face-down cent, and headed for T-Hoe. In the back of my mind, though, I was trying to figure out why something seemed amiss. Once I looked at the pictures, I noticed that this penny was no longer on a line between tiles! I think I nabbed an extra penny, and left that fallen candy-hider in the store! Oh, well. C'est la cent, as they say!

At the other Casey's out by my bank, the scenario repeated itself! I penny laying dangerously close to a customer's foot! Val being helped by a second cashier on the left. Deja vu all over again!


Val is many things, but Val is not a perv who puts her face in the rumpus zone of a stranger and reaches for their feet!


Got it! A face-down 1974 beauty that had obviously been awaiting my capture.

I was feeling penny-special as I waited to turn into the parking lot of The Gas Station Chicken Store. It was busy, what with gas prices down, and cars crammed in all willy-nilly, waiting for a turn at the pumps. Also, a gas tanker was parked over by the moat, in my preferred parking area. So I sat calmly, waiting for a little red sports car to back into position, thus freeing my rightful space closest to the door. I don't get that space very often these days. Even though it meant yanking T-Hoe's steering wheel like a trucker without power steering, I maneuvered my way between the lines, trying to leave room to get my door open if a close-parker took the space beside me.

I already had two pennies for the day, but I made sure to grab my phone before getting out. Just in case. Good thing I did!


A penny was waiting at my feet! Had I parked like a civilized human being, directly in the middle of the lines, T-Hoe would have been on top of that penny. Since there is nothing on the passenger side of that space, though, I always cheat over as close to the concrete bumper thingy as I can. Don't hurt nothin'! I've been blocked out of my door too many times there.


I snapped the evidence, and pocketed this face-up 1983 Abe, worried that if I found another, I'd be out of pockets!

I don't remember my record for penny-finding in a single week, but surely this must be close.
SIX CENTS!

Also, I hit the second century mark on overall pennies!
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For 2018: This was Penny # 117, 118, 119, 120, 121, 122.
For 2018: Dimes still at   # 15.
For 2018: Nickels still at  # 5.
For 2018: Quarter still at #1.


Since 2017 (the beginning), this was Penny # 195, 196, 197, 198, 199, 200.
Since 2017 (the beginning), this is still Dime # 21.
Since 2017 (the beginning), this is still Nickel # 5.
Since 2017 (the beginning), this is still Quarter #1.
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8 comments:

  1. You need to drink more diet coke and play more scratchers...you'd be swimming in pennies.

    I have never heard "Holes in the Floor of Heaven." But then I never met your mom either.

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    1. As if that is even possible! I think I'm maxed out at Diet Coking and scratching. I usually put a link to that song, but forgot it this time. It usually plays on the country stations, so that explains why your haven't heard it, probably.

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  2. Have you tried playing the penny slots at the casino? Or don't they have those anymore?

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    1. They still have them, but the minimum bet is 30 or 40 cents. It's not like you can put coins in anymore. It's all bills and tickets. I really miss the jingle of a coin jackpot!

      The slots I win big on ARE actually penny machines, I guess. I used to play 3-reel old-style quarter slots, but they are not as exciting, and the most I ever won was $100.

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  3. So your backwards day turned into quite the centsory experience. I'm astonished really, that more people don't bother picking up pennies. Do they not see them? Of course that means more pennies for you.

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    1. I see what you did there! I guess if the penny isn't meant for them, other people don't notice. Or they think they're too good for pennies.

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  4. Even Steven was smiling at you!!

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