If Hick Tells You Something That's Too Good to be True...

Hick has a habit of helping me, which generally causes me more work. He also has a habit of putting off telling me things that are likely to elicit my ire, and then claims that he "just forgot." In fact, Hick is so "just forgetful" that sometimes I think I need to pin a note to his shirt explaining what he needs to do. One bone of contention is his habit of holding back receipts. I balance the checkbook. I pay the bills. I dole out cash when it comes time to purchase another Hick's Folly. You'd think he could at least keep me updated on his expenditures, so I can manage the cash flow.

Hick is on a short financial leash. I don't care what he spends his weekly cash allowance on. I DO care when he uses the debit or credit card and "just forgets" to tell me. Or when he uses the credit card for things that belong on the debit card. Like car repairs. I swear, lately we've been spending nearly as much on that as we spend on health insurance!

Anyhoo...one of Hick's naughty pleasures is waiting until he goes to bed to lay out his receipts. Oh, he's a crafty one! He can have an hour of conversation with me during his supper, and not mention that he's used the debit card that day. I can flat out ask him if he used it, and he'll say no. But when I ascend from my dark basement lair around 3:00 a.m., there on the kitchen counter, where I plug in my phone to charge, will be a receipt, or several, from that day's transactions. Maybe the pharmacy, or the feed store, or Lowe's, or most lately, Mick the mechanic's shop. No amount of chastising can break Hick of this habit. Oh, he'll say he's sorry, and that he won't do it again. But he does.

Monday, Hick came in the kitchen door as I was stirring a batch of Chex Mix for my best ol' ex-teaching buddy Mabel.

"Where have YOU been?"

"I'm getting the cars worked on. I told you. I just got back with the second one."

"Maybe...I don't really listen to that kind of stuff. I think you were getting A-Cad ready for CasinoPalooza 3."

"Yeah. I told you. It needed an oil change. I also got the tires rotated. And it needed a new cabin filter. That surprised me, as little as we drive it."

"I have no idea what a cabin filter is."

"For the air. In the cabin. The inside of the car. Where we ride."

"Oh. Okay."

"In fact, you'll be proud of me. I saved us money! I didn't do the car work myself, but I made a trade with Mick."

"For what?"

"I knew he'd want it! It's a Coke bar."

"I have no idea what that is!"

"Here. I'll show you a picture."

"I still don't get it. Is it like a table? Is that the top when you fold it out?"

"No. You move it away from the wall, and two sides fold out, and a shelf goes across, for a bar. That lady is on the front. She stays on the front. I got it for myself, to put in the BARn with my Coke stuff, but it won't fit right. Anyway, I traded it to Mick for $60. For work on the Acadia. The bill was $78, so I traded the Coke bar and some cash."

"That IS good! I thought it might be a couple hundred to get the car work done."

"Okay. Well. I've got things to do. I might go to an auction at 3:00. So I'll be in and out."

Any day Hick is going to an auction is a good day, because if it's an early one, I don't have to make his supper. I went on with my Chex Mix. Then wrapped a few presents. Hick came in to get some of his Storage Unit Store money out of the safe, for the auction. He was in and out in 10 minutes. I didn't notice until I left for town that Hick had put a receipt on the kitchen counter, by my Chex containers.

It was a bill for $249.51. For rotors and brakes on the Trailblazer. Because, you know, he just forgot to tell me about it while we were standing in the kitchen discussing repairs on the cars.