I Cried Because I Drove a Dirty T-Hoe...and Then I Met a Man Who Pulled This Trailer

I was shocked the other day when I drove over to Hick's new Freight Container Garage and saw how he had been hauling the treasures from his 18 unpaid-for storage units that he forked over $1100 cash for the privilege of cleaning out. Silly me. I had ASSumed he was using his long trailer. The one that can haul a car. The one he had loaded up with hay bales for a Halloween hayride attached to his tractor. I'd even worried about him pulling that big ol' thing back and forth to town a couple times a day. Nope. I shouldn't have. Hick was using a smaller trailer. Much to my new-found chagrin.

Honestly. I take no responsibility for this monstrosity. Atrocity. Scourge upon the landscape. I didn't even know he had it. Nor did I know that he had NOT traded in the matching camper shell that so beautifully went with The Pony's little 4WD maroon Ford Ranger pickup truck, but had kept that, because his handshake deal did not mention that the camper shell went with it.

Feast your eyes, folks:

THIS is what I saw being unloaded over at the Freight Container Garage! When Hick calls it a homemade trailer for licensing purposes...he's RIGHT! I didn't get the picture when I was over there talking to him, but Hick gladly took a couple pictures to send me. Because he's proud of his homemade trailer!

I can't with this, people! I just can't! I usually own up to my low-class hillbillyness. But I am SO EMBARRASSED by this trailer! Seriously! WHO would drive around pulling this thing? HICK! That's who!

I don't mean to put on airs. But we all know that people are judgmental. My sister's husband the ex-mayor feels superior to me because he drives a clean Expedition, and I drive a dirty, dirty Tahoe. I feel superior to people who drive those tiny clown cars. The clown car people feel superior to those who drive golf carts and side-by-sides to town. The golf cart and side-by-side people feel superior to those who ride bicycles. The cyclists are pretty sure they're better off that the mobility scooter people, who feel superior to folks who walk with a cane, who feel superior to someone who's in a motorized wheelchair, who think they're better off that someone who has to be PUSHED in a wheelchair. It's all a descending chain, like The Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly, or The House That Jack Built.

I'm here to tell you, people, that after seeing this homemade trailer, I cannot feel superior to anybody!!! I am the bottom of the barrel. A lowly snail, creeping about on a slime trail. I was SO FORTUNATE to be behind Hick the other day, as he left for town. I caught a few pictures of his homemade trailer in action.

Here it goes, passing in front of a neighbor's barn.

Down the bumpy blacktop hill that Hick made.

And out onto the blacktop county road, for the general public to admire.

You know, Hick is really good at building things. He's great with those themed sheds, and that giant Freight Container Garage, and making steps and rails for our porch, and a deck around Poolio. Yes, Hick is really good at building things. This trailer is not one of them.

It won't hurt my feelings at all if you want to give your impression of Hick's homemade trailer. In fact, it might make me feel better if you commiserate with me.

What say you?