Tuesday, February 20, 2018

He's Poparm the Junker Man

Hick has not been himself lately. Last week, he injured his arm. I'd like to say that hard-working Hick hurt himself while lifting couches and dressers and file cabinets that he acquired in The Great Storage Unit Folly of Early '18. But that's not quite the truth.

Hick hurt his arm while sitting on the toilet wiping his butt.

You know the body doesn't work as well when it gets older. It's a little more fragile. Takes longer to heal. But still. How in the NOT-HEAVEN can a butt-wiping man injure his arm so badly that it looks like this:


Yeah. There's nothing stuffed in there. It's not perspective. Hick is not a bodybuilder. I told him he looks like a skewed Popeye. Well. I didn't use the work skewed. Because I was talking to Hick. But I made it clear that he's like some kind of freaky Popeye with a big bicep instead of big forearms.

I guess that's all swelling. Hick says he heard a POP when it happened. The arm hurt. It didn't swell up until after he put a heating pad and a hot patch thingy on it. That made if feel better, he said. But look worse. He went to the funeral home (not because he thought he was dying, but to pay respects to a deceased person) and was talking to HOS (Hick's Oldest Son) and his wife. HOSwife said that her Dad had injured his arm (though actually through physical labor, and not wiping his butt on the toilet), and that once it swelled up, it felt better. He didn't go to the doctor for it because it felt better. But he still has a knot in the muscle.


I told Hick that he should go to the doctor. He said he was going on Friday anyway, for his B12 shot, and he would ask then. Of course, he didn't mention that he only sees the nurse for that shot. But he did share that the nurse told him HE NEEDS TO SEE THE DOCTOR. He said he might make an appointment, but that he's sure she'll just send him for an MRI, and that he's going to tell her, "I ain't goin' down to the hospital, because now I have to pay out of pocket until my deductible is met." That's the problem with being spoiled by having two insurances all your working career. Anyhoo... Hick says he'll call around and go to just an MRI place, not necessarily the hospital, because people at work told him it's way cheaper.

NOW I've asked Hick what he's going to do, depending on the diagnosis. All the armchair / barber chair / Hardee's daily breakfast / auction buyers / flea market seller experts think Hick has most likely torn the muscle away from the bone. Which would actually be a tendon, because tendon is what attaches muscle to bone. So...I've asked him, what if the recommendation is surgery? Because I'm sure that would entail a MINIMUM of six weeks of no lifting. For a man who is feverishly trying to clean out two remaining storage sheds so as not to pay rent on them.

Hick says he can move the arm most ways except for shoulder height, out away from his body. He can lift things that aren't too heavy. He wants to get it checked out, and fixed if it's never going to get better without surgery.

Right now, though, we have Oklahoma Casino Minipalooza on the horizon. So he's definitely not going under the knife this week. Even though I am willing to cancel reservations and postpone the trip and devote my time to playing scratchers and looking for parking lot pennies.

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We will be gone 3 days, but I'll be checking in every late night or early morning, and fresh posts have been scheduled for you. So if you don't see your comment right away, it's because I'm out whooping it up on the casino floor, and haven't gotten to it yet. But I will!
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14 comments:

  1. I can see Hick's problem. With his arm mucked up, he hasn't been able to shave lately.

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    1. Hick slacked off on shaving long before that injury. He was trying to grow out a Santa beard so he wouldn't have to wear the fake one for the local Parents As Teachers breakfast with Santa. He thinks he succeeded. The preschoolers probably didn't mind. At least if one pulled on it, that beard didn't snap back and sting.

      I'm not sure why he's still growing it, though. I don't see him going on tour with the Oak Ridge Boys, although he DOES have a deep and on-key singing voice. He's really good at joining in on "Elvira" when it comes on the radio.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qK-9eIF2yI

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  2. Oh man what a way to hurt yourself, he could always tell the Doctor a different version that doesn't include toilets or butt wiping, but I'd think seriously about getting that looked at, Cindy looked at the picture and she is really concerned, so just tell him "Cindy said..."

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    1. Not sure WHAT he told the doctor today, but she told him to be careful not to injure it more, and they'd take a look when he had an MRI. She even recommended the cheapest one (she said) around here. She thinks he tore a tendon or muscle.

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  3. That does not look good, I would not worry about moving heavy things, I would worry about the next time I needed to wipe my butt.

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    1. Hick has been staying fairly close to home...until we leave for Oklahoma Casino Minipalooza. He says he can always jump in the shower if he needs to. I did not want further details.

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  4. It does look like the muscle has torn away from the shoulder and it is going to have to be stitched back in place if there's enough tendon left to stitch. My dad did the same thing about thirty years ago, he was lifting some heavy sewer pipes into position, he looked funny with the muscle hanging at elbow level. His recovery was fairly quick and therapy saw him regain full use of the arm. But it is the sort of thing that needs to be done as soon as possible. Hick needs to be frog-marched to surgery toot-sweet. Or yesterday, whichever comes first.

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    1. Hick says the shoulder doesn't hurt, that the POP and pain are in the bicep area, and that everything still moves okay. I'm hoping it's just (JUST) a muscle tear, no bone fragment ripped away by a tendon.

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  5. Be careful on your trip over here. We've had plenty of rain, flood warnings, ice warnings, etc. Not good traveling weather - at least until Saturday afternoon.

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    1. We drove through a little water flowing over the bridge about two miles from our house. Of course, I had seen how high it was in our creek by the mailboxes, and told Hick to go the other way, but he had to prove to me that water was NOT over the bridge. Since he couldn't prove it, he made his point by driving through, and saying, "See? There was no reason to go around."

      It was fine getting here, but at our FIRST casino, the freezing rain started, so we left after an hour and made it back to Downstream (such an appropriate name) where we had already checked in. Of course, their slots robbed what we won at the first one.

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  6. Bill also has the same kind of wonky arm. Tore the muscle away from tendon. He had not had surgery although he belly aches about it now and then. Laughed out loud at cause of injury, even called Bill in, and he was guffawing. Only thing will hinder Hick is yanking those one armed bandits.

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    1. Well...did Bill ever tell you how HE tore his muscle?

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  7. Of course it hurts in the bicep area, that's the bicep muscle that has torn loose. A shoulder injury would be a rotator cuff and moving the arm would be painful.

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    1. Hick whimpered in pain when he carried his plate of lasagna two nights ago. I think maybe he was being dramatic.

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