Money Out, Money In, Money Out

Last Thursday, Hick sweaved drove me to the city to the Missouri Lottery office, to cash in my $1000 scratcher winner. It's an unassuming building in an industrial park. Kind of confusing to get to, but we have a GARMIN! Actually, the last time we went, last March, with my previous $1000 winner, Hick got lost on the way out, and had to pull over and set our destination as home, since he kept driving around in square circles.

Anyhoo...inside the building, there's a counter with two clerks behind what I assume is bulletproof glass. They have little slots that you shove your ticket through. Let's just say that these workers are always cheerful. I would imagine it's a pretty rewarding job to hand out money to happy people all day long. AND the workers are seated, not standing, behind the counter.

The guy who waited on me said, "Oh, I see that you've been here before." Not because he's one of those 6 people in the world like Marilu Henner, who can remember every detail of every second of their lives since birth. No. He's not even the one who waited on me last time. He's not psychic, either, that I know of, or he wouldn't be WORKING with lottery tickets, he'd be home scratching off a fortune every day. No, he knew I'd been there before, because I was prepared.

I'd been to the Missouri Lottery website, and looked up what I needed to cash in a winning ticket. I'd filled out my forms, and printed them. I'd already made a copy of the front and back of my ticket, which I'd signed. Once I shoved all that, along with my ticket and picture ID, through the slot, I was given a check for $960 (Missouri holds out 4% tax) and a W2G (that's for GAMBLING, you know) to use for next year's federal tax return. The whole visit took less than five minutes.

While I was waiting for my check to be printed, a man walked up to the other slot at the counter. He pushed a ticket through, and said, "I've been playing for 10 years, and it's about time! What do I do now? Besides shake?"

Darn it! I couldn't see his ticket. And I couldn't hear what the gal was telling him. My clerk called me back over to get my check, which I handed to Hick (maybe not such a good idea), so I could use the very clean bathroom facilities before we left. I could see that Hick was trying to listen in. Well. Apparently, Hick doesn't eavesdrop any better than he listens to me. Because all he revealed was that the lady told Winner Guy that she had to take out 20% for taxes. I'd just read the night before on the official website of the Missouri Lottery that they must withhold 25% for federal taxes on any ticket winning over $5000. I'm guessing that Winner Guy's ticket was for a little more. Because I don't think I'd be shaking for $5000.

On the way back home, we stopped by the casino for lunch. Uh huh. You know. Purely for lunch. People gotta eat! Even people who win $1000 on a scratcher. Now don't you go worrying about Val's fortune. It was in check form, and made it safely home, and to the bank the very next morning. I had $15 free play at the casino, plus $20 rewards play on a Thursday. Hick had $10 free play. Who can drive right by and let those benefits lapse? Not this ol' Val! And her sweaver driver Hick. I gave him a little bit more money, but not much, because I was saving my stash for Oklahoma Casino Minipalooza (where I am living it up this very moment).

We only intended to eat lunch, and play for an hour. Seriously. That was the plan. But we were both having so much success that we ended up staying for two hours. And THEN, with only a couple of minutes left before our rendezvous, Hick sent me a text asking if I wanted to stay an additional half hour. Who am I to deny his wishes? We stayed. Probably to my detriment, because my streak was over. But it helped Hick win back some after-lunch losses.

In the end, Hick came out with $240 more than he took in, and I left $100 ahead. That's a rare occasion at this casino.

What's NOT a rare occasion? I had an issue with my order-taker at Burger Brothers! I know, right? It's like they're conspiring against me! More on that story tomorrow...