Sunday, February 4, 2018

Don't Trust Your Junk to No Machiavellian Backroads Sawyer

Can we take just a minute here, to provide a paraphrased song lyric title for my blog buddy Sioux? She's been busy of late, and I'm sure she would welcome a paraphrase in her honor, just to see if she still has her lyric-decipherin' chops. Anybody can guess, though! We don't have to wait on Sioux. She'll either know it when she reads the title, or not. I don't take her for a cheater.

I've been thinking about this storage unit owner who sold Hick the 18 storage units for $1100. He's quite the genius, really. Right up there with Tom Sawyer. Surely everybody in the Blogosphere remembers how Tom Sawyer, when tasked with whitewashing Aunt Polly's fence, managed to lure other boys into doing it, while making them pay for the privilege of painting! Sure, Tom didn't get $1100 from them. But he got a brass doorknob, and a partially-eaten apple, and a kitten with one eye, and a key that didn't open anything. For a boy in that time and place, that was almost as good as $1100.

That storage unit owner is crafty, like Tom Sawyer! He had storage units full of junk, that people didn't pay their monthly fee on. So in order to continue his livelihood, Storage Unit Owner needed to get rid of those people's stuff, so he could rent out the units to new paying customers. What a lot of work that would have been! For a man to open up 18 storage units, and carry out the junk, load it on a trailer, and haul it away. Over and over again. Until those units were empty, and ready to rent anew, and make income again.

Oh, if only there was some way to have somebody else do all that work. Wait a minute! There WAS a way! Tell somebody he could have the junk he took out. Yeah. Job done. But WAIT! How about CHARGING that dude for the privilege of doing all that work? YEAH! Not only give him all the junk to haul away, but make him PAY to do it! Oh, yeah! And give him a two-week deadline, so those 18 units would be ready to rent at the 1st of the month!

What a scathingly brilliant idea! Get those 18 storage units cleaned out in two weeks, without lifting  a finger, and make $1100 off the deal!

Yep. That Storage Unit Owner is some Machiavellian Backroads Sawyer.

If I was you, I wouldn't forget to pay the monthly fee for storing my junk with him.

11 comments:

  1. Val--I'm kicking myself. I know I know the song. I am sure I will really kick myself when you reveal the title.

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    1. I really do believe you know it. And of course my 13-year-old self is snickering at the image of you kicking yourself. No need to reveal. Jimmy got it!

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  2. I don't have a clue on the song lyric.

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    1. You probably don't listen to much country music in New Jersey...

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  3. You know what? I hadn't given a single thought to that side of the deal. And what a sweet deal it was.

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    1. Yeah! I didn't think of it until a few days ago. That guy definitely has a sweet deal!

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  4. Val don't tell Sioux but I'm thinking the song is The Night that the Lights went out in Georgia, speaking of the line, Don't trust your soul to no backwoods Southern lawyer.

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    1. Too late! I already told her. Congrats, but there's no prize. Maybe I should have mentioned that earlier.

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    2. You should at least give him a WHOOP-TE-DO!

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  5. I wonder how much a storage unit business would cost me.

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    1. I don't know, but it shouldn't take long to pay for itself. Especially if your renters don't pay up, and you sell the privilege of cleaning out the units to some enterprising Hick.

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