Back-of-the-Book-Blurb #96 "Creeper By the Dozen"

Blog buddy Sioux is hosting Back-of-the-Book-Blurb. I have 150 words to convince you to fake-buy my fake book. This week, Val is letting the rat out of the bag! She has penned a tale of love that will shake you to your very foundation. Dig deep and unearth some cash for this hopefully-not-soon-buried treasure.

Creeper By the Dozen

Roddy met Rita online. He was touched by her love of animals, and not discouraged in the least by her declaration that she had 12 pets, and they came as a package deal. You can't go wrong with a gal who loves animals, right? Besides, she said she looked forward to the pitter-patter of little feet, and Roddy was hoping to start a family soon.

Now Roddy is overwhelmed. Hoping he didn't make a mistake. Like when he mistook "litter feet" for "little feet." With rats overrunning every nook and cranny of his home and his body...Roddy is looking for a way to rid his house of rats. Without Rita knowing he-done-it, of course.

Will one of Rita's former suitors answer Roddy's ad for vermin control? Can they cut a deal with a local product-testing lab? Or will Roddy find it necessary to dispose of the biggest rat of all? (150 words)

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Fake Reviews for Val’s Fake Book

John Candy as Uncle Buck..."I know an assistant elementary school principal who might pay Roddy a quarter for a rat to gnaw a mole off her face...but I don't know anyone who would pay one red cent for this fake book!" 

Rats from the Late Middle Ages..."We are NOT responsible for the Black Death. But Thevictorian IS responsible for this fake book. Which, we wager, will be looked back upon with just as much horror."

James Cagney..."I never said, 'You dirty rat!' in a movie. Nope. Never. Look it up. I WILL say it now, though, in reference to this fake author. She's a real public enemy. I'd like to smash a grapefruit in her face for writing this fake book."

Willard, from the movie of the same name..."I'd like to pay this fake author a visit. Me and a few friends. Perhaps she won't be fake-writing any more fake books after that."

Ben, from the movie of the same name..."I had the displeasure of meeting fake-author Thevictorian. She is quite lucky that she does not have good taste, as that is all that saved her."

John Wayne as Rooster Cogburn in the movie True Grit..."Ms. Thevictorian, I have a writ here that says you are to stop fake-writing fake books forthwith. Now, it's a rat writ, writ for a rat like you, and this is lawful service of same. Hey! Pay attention to me. You don't wanna know how I serve papers on a rat!"

Sewer Rat..."My habitat smells way sweeter than anything Thevictorian has ever written. Her books STINK!"

The Grinch..."I concur. Thevictorian, the three words that best describe your fake writing are: stink, stank, stunk."