Back-of-the-Book-Blurb Friday #94 "Amiable House"

Blog buddy Sioux is hosting Back-of-the-Book-Blurb Friday. I have 150 words to convince you to fake-buy my fake book. Have you ever dropped child off at college? If so, you know how it tugs at your heartstrings, leaving your precious cargo behind. Will your kid make friends? Have a social life? Enjoy the full college experience? This week, Val's fake book hearkens back to that traumatic time. For the parent. Students probably don't even remember that first evening... Relive those thrilling days from the student perspective, with "Amiable House," the latest fake effort from Thevictorian. Order your copy today, and make room for it on your concrete-block bookcase.

Amiable House

The nerdy Tri-Lambs have found a new fraternity house. To attract attention of the incoming crop of co-eds, they've hung welcome banners from their second story. A catchy slogan like their friends the Tri-Deltas ("Delta Delta Delta, can we help ya, help ya, help ya?) is also being tried out: "After a Lambda wham-bam, you'll always get a 'Thank you, Ma'am!'"

Moms are landing helicopters on the lawn, and dropping off their daughters at an amazing rate, secure in the knowledge that these gentlemen will look out for their precious li'l gals. There seem to be an abundance of beverages to keep them hydrated, and it sounds like a movie night is planned, since the most-overheard welcoming phrase is an offer to "Netflix and chill."

Will a wholesome evening of G-rated fun ensue, or will Delta House, fresh off Double-Secret Probation, crash the festivities with an impromptu traveling toga party? (150 words)

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Fake Reviews for Val’s Fake Book

Robert Carradine as Lewis Skolnick..."Revenge is sometimes necessary to right the wrongs others have done to you. That said, there is no revenge strong enough to right the wrong of Thevictorian's fake book release." 

Anthony Edwards as Gilbert Lowe..."I'm not a doctor, but later in my life, I play one on TV. One thing I know for sure is that reading Thevictorian's fake books is not healthy for anyone!"

Timothy Busfield as Poindexter..."My vision wasn't really corrected correctly until I was thirtysomething. With the release of Thevictorian's latest fake book, I wish I was still virtually blind."

Ted McGinley as Stan Gable..."With the release of this fake book, the last thing anybody is singing is 'Happy Days are Here Again!' This fake author could make every passenger on the Love Boat jump overboard before they even found love, just to get away from her soggy plots. Thevictorian may think she helms a fake book dynasty, but she and talent are perfect strangers. Now that I'm married with children, I struggle to protect my kids from bad fake literature such as this. Through hope and faith, maybe this washed-up old has-been will stop fake-writing."

Dean Wormer..."I am so pleased that Thevictorian is not writing about MY college fraternities that I've agreed to give her a fake review for the back of her fake book. So here it is: 'Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to write fake books, Val.' Come to think of it...similar advice didn't seem to affect that John Blutarsky fellow."

John Belushi as Bluto..."TOGA! That's what this author should be restrained with, her arms tied down tightly so she can't write any more. Seven years of college down the drain was nothing compared to the time I lost fake-reading this fake book."

Steven Furst as "Flounder" Kent Dorfman..."Being a Delta legacy, thanks to my brother's former membership, got me into this fraternity, but it does nothing for getting me out of hearing about this fake book. Somebody needs to visit this fake author late at night, in her office, with a pistol loaded with blanks, and a chainsaw."

Tom Hulce as "Pinto" Larry Kroger..."If I had a fake angel on my left shoulder, telling me to read this fake book, and a fake devil on my right shoulder, telling me to set it on fire...you'd better call 9-1-1. Could I compose a favorable fake book blurb for Thevictorian? Don't make me laugh!"

Otis Day and the Knights..."If anybody brought this fake author to a bar to see us perform, I guarantee that NOBODY would ask her to dance. She is unappealing, and her fake writing is as muddled as the lyrics of Louie, Louie."