Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Too Much of Something We Wish We Didn't Need in the First Place

Remember back when my sister the ex-mayor's wife was leaving no stone unturned (routing out all manner of creepy-crawly critters from under those elected-official rocks) in order to get back the money that Social Security had deducted for Medicare from our mom's bank account after she was no longer in need of any medical care?

Okay. Maybe you don't remember back then. But Sis called all over the place, and went to the local office of the SSAdmin there in her town, then started moving up the chain of command to a bigwig, who told her finally, after over a year, "We see that you've requested this money be deposited back in the account, but let me tell you, that's really low in our priorities right now." Or something like that. They agreed that the money was due back to the account, but they weren't in any hurry to send it.

So...Sis started with local political representatives, and moved up that chain, to a couple of them all the way in Washington D.C., to see how she was going to get this money back. It wasn't a lot of money. Slightly over $100. That didn't matter to Sis. What's right is right. She held off closing that bank account, waiting for the money to go back in.

Earlier this summer, Sis got a bank statement that showed the money had been returned. She texted me a picture of it, and we both went to the bank and closed the account. There's only one little problem.

On Friday, I got a check from the Social Security Administration for half of that amount. Saturday, I got a letter saying I would be getting a check.

I sent Sis a text, with a picture of the check, asking her if she was due half.

"I don't know. Isn't that half the amount that was due back in Mom's account for her Medicare?"

"I don't know. It seems close to that amount. Did you get a check? Are we each getting half?"

"No. I don't have anything."

"I think we've already been paid this money."

"I know! If you cash it, we might end up in the slammer!"

"Well, YOU are the one who got the other refund. Finally. My name wasn't on it. They don't know you gave me half."

"That's right."

"So...technically...only YOU would be going to the slammer. I will deny that you gave me my share!"

"What did you do with that check?"

"I was going to rush it to the bank. But then I thought half might be yours. So it's in the kitchen, on the counter, on top of a box of Puffs With Lotion."

"Hang onto that while I think about it."

"Sure. See if you get one, too."

So today, Sis got a letter saying they were sending her a check. Just like mine. And that if she thought this was issued in error, to contact them. Just like my letter said.

We are waiting to see if Sis really gets a check. Then we are going to rush to the local SSAdmin office and make them give us a copy of our checks, and give us each a letter on official letterhead saying we turned those checks back in.

I'll probably still get a 1099 form at tax time, telling me I need to report double the amount that I actually got, from Sis, as if I cashed this check also.

You can't be too careful in documenting your dealings with the devil government.

13 comments:

  1. I don't think returning money taken in error will be considered taxable income.

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    Replies
    1. Whatchoo talkin' 'bout? TAKEN in error? It was GIVEN, in error, my good sir! Ain't nothin' been taken yet.

      It's about to be taken BACK to whence it came!

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    2. I meant the return of your mom's money taken in error would not be considered income.

      Delete
  2. Don't wait too long to deposit those checks. You don't want the U.S. government's bank account to get overdrawn, like Nana's after her grandson finally endorsed and then deposited his decades-old birthday checks.

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    Replies
    1. Yes. I don't want the SSAdmin to walk down an alley of questionable safety, looking for it's closed bank branch.

      SHH...don't tell anybody, but my bank pin is Jor-El-eating-BOSCO.

      Delete
  3. You can bet they will screw it up in some way come tax time!

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I can bet. And I'd win. And then they would make me claim it as gambling winnings.

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  4. Those checks will probably be hanging over your heads forever!!

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    Replies
    1. At least until the end of our life sentences.

      Delete
  5. I've only been contacted twice by the IRS, both times to be informed they owed ME money. But think of the stories you can write from your experiences in the slammer.

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    Replies
    1. Once they sent me an extra refund, because I did the math wrong. I think it was during the couple of years I was teaching math. I believe that counts as IRONY. But I'm not sure, even though I also spent a couple of years teaching Language. Which is now called Communication Arts, you know.

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  6. You could both cash the checks and head for the border, like I did back in the day. Well, I didn't take any illegal money across the border. But you guys could. Thelma and Louise, revisited. (Always did love that movie.)

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    Replies
    1. Oh. How kind of you to offer advice. WAIT A MINUTE! Are you saying my sister the ex-mayor's wife should drive me over a cliff?

      Delete