Tuesday, August 9, 2016

A Little Song, a Little Dance, a Little Sprite at Second Glance

With his departure imminent, The Pony is feeling his oats and chomping at the bit. He has called a brief truce by volunteering to ride beside me in T-Hoe, rather than behind, being chauffeured like the Grey Poupon snob.

Yesterday, in the midst of running our errands and having him shot, I lamented the fact that his cup of McDonand's breakfast Sprite was still in T-Hoe's cup holder. Not-heaven knows I don't want my T-Hoe all sticky with sugary soda.

"Oh. I meant to tell you to pour that out as we left Walmart. Now we've made two trips to get your shot, and it's probably seeping out the bottom of the cup. When we stop, pour--"

"Here, then." With that, The Pony snatched up the waxed cardboard cup of McDonald's Sprite, and put his window down.

"NO! Don't do it while we're moving!"

"I'll get rid of it for you right now!"


"There you go!"

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT? It will be all over the side of the car! And the dust will stick to it when we get on the gravel!"

"No, I held it out. It's not on the car."

"Are you sure?"

The Pony stuck his head out and glanced back. "Yep. It's clear. What's the matter, were you afraid I was going to throw the whole cup out?"

"No. I didn't want the side of the car all sticky. I'm sure it's on there. I TOLD you NO! Who do you think you are, just doing the opposite of what I say? It's going to be a mess. You are so...so...STUPID!"

"I'm not stupid!"

"We'll see, won't we?"

With all the melting groceries to put away when we got home, and my lunch to prepare at the late hour of 2:00, I forgot about the side of T-Hoe. But never fear. I was meeting my sister the ex-mayor's wife at 9:30 the next morning, about that extra Social Security check (a whole 'nother story), and I knew SHE would let me know how T-Hoe looked. Without any prompting.

I even asked The Pony again, before leaving that morning, since he had gone outside to get some stuff out of the car. Namely, his bag of McDonald's trash, and his second pair of new glasses that he'd been leaving in there.

"How does my car look?"

"What do you mean?"

"The side of it. Where you poured soda."

"It's fine."

"Not all spotty?"

"No. It looks fine."

I'll let you be the judge, with this picture taken on the parking lot at the Social Security office.

As Sis said, "It's a mess!"

When I got home, I hollered down to the basement to The Pony. "Want to come out and see my car?"

"No. There's no need for that."

"Are you having attitude with me?"

"No. That just won't be necessary."

"It's COVERED in soda and dust! So why are YOU giving ME an attitude?"

"It's not an attitude. It was my way of trying to deny what I'd done."

Just so we're clear. Unlike the side of T-Hoe.


  1. This is where the term "Jerk" often comes in play at my house.

    1. I understand. At least The Pony didn't eat any food I had hidden under a towel, or make a fuss about drinking USED water, or use a vegetable brush to scrub vegetables.

  2. Easily fixed--by The Pony, not you!!

    1. Yes. Or easier-fixed, if I back T-Hoe out of the garage and wait for the 96% chance of rain on Saturday.

  3. Why in the world did you ask The Pony? YOU are the one who's stupid. The Pony is a future middle-aged male. He is well on his way to the "I make messes/I don't see any messes/I don't clean up any messes" attitude, that he will fully adopt when he is completely mature.

    And is there any whoopy being made?

    1. I have already warned him about his messes in the dorm room. His roommate may be Felix Unger.

      No whoopy. The Pony does not know the classics.

  4. Time for Pony to exercise the hose.

    1. Or time for Pony to GET THE HOSE!

      Wait. Did I just type that? No. We don't use the hose here. Nope. Not even the wooden spoon favored by some of my colleagues. Just a stern talking-to.

      The Pony needs to exercise his elbow grease with a sponge and Puppy Jack's swimming pool. But not in the garage.

  5. Oh yeah, I saw that mess coming. Maybe you should have called him up and handed him a bucket and turned on the hose for him...or on him.

    1. Any fool (not a reflection on YOU, of course!) knows not to POUR something out the window of a moving car!

      Imagine if The Pony was in his preferred seat behind me, and I put his window down, and poured a Sprite out MY window!