Wednesday, August 24, 2016

From The Pony Who Brought You a JINE-a-cologist

The Pony has been having a blast at college.

Monday night he sent several texts about what a great first day he had. Supper was spaghetti and cake. When I asked if he was carb-loading, he said, "NO!" Even though yesterday he had french toast for breakfast, and nothing else until evening, which was chips, because he was waiting to have Papa John's pizza with a girl he met in class.

"Why didn't you have lunch?"

"Because you only got me 2 meals a week, Mother Dear." Let the record show that this is a dirty lie! Oops! He sent another text right away: "12!" Let the record further show that The Pony himself picked out that meal plan, which includes money on his card to be used in the restaurants in his dorm complex such as an all-you-can-eat Chick Fil A. And that 12 is the maximum number of meals per week offered on a meal plan.

Since he IS The Pony, and I AM Val Thevictorian, our text conversation turned to the Oxford comma. Yeah. Like you didn't spend time discussing that with YOUR freshman son the first day of college classes. I sent him a link with the following example:

The Pony, in turn, sent me a picture he had taken that day, with the following explanation: "My friend wondered why I laughed as she was helping two guys carry a box of books." Knowing The Pony, I would assume he was laughing because she was HELPING PEOPLE, and he, himself, was not. But you know what happens when we assume. Here's the picture of the box his friend was helping the guys carry:

"Where did they get that box?"

"I have no clue. lol"

" somebody's parent a JINE-a-cologist? Heh, heh!"


"Did you tell her, or did she read it?"

"Told her."

"I know better than to ask why YOU didn't help them carry it. That would be considered HELPING people. Something for which you have no affinity. You'd be more likely to find oil having intimate relations with water! Do you like my analogies?"

"Very nice."

Yes, I think The Pony might just make it on his own.


  1. JFK and Stalin were strippers?

    1. Who knew? It was probably a cover for more clandestine activities.

  2. Is he going to throw up his bright-color beret in the middle of crowded square on a cold winter day?

    1. Quite possibly. I'm going to advise him against hosting any dinner parties, and send him money for a big metal "P" to hang on the wall of his dorm room.

  3. I think you're going to have lots of Pony/college experiences to share with us.

    1. Wow! You are psychic like that Tyler kid with his own show who has his mom drive him to celebrities' houses to tell them stuff about their dead relatives that he could have researched on the internet.

      In fact, there is another Pony tale coming down the pike. But the next one will be devoted to Hick's exploits. Wouldn't want him to feel like Juno did when Puppy Jack arrived.