Monday, May 2, 2016

You Can Put Lipstick on a Pig, But That Does Not Mean It Came From France

It's not every day that a kid around here has a dad who goes to France for a week.

So...I thought that perhaps Hick could bring something back for The Pony. Some souvenir. Even if it was an embroidered beret with The Pony's name on it so girls could make fun of him like Rusty Griswold in National Lampoon's European Vacation. Or maybe some coins. A black-and-white-striped mime shirt.

My own father used to travel for work. To various training sessions with Bell Telephone. Maybe you've heard of them. They were only the biggest phone company monopoly ever. So they had to be split up like a clique of trouble-making junior high pupils. Anyhoo...no matter where my father traveled, which was usually still in-state, he brought back something for me and my sister the future ex-mayor's wife. I remember one such trip he made to Mexico (MISSOURI!), when he brought us each a plastic doll dressed with a crocheted sweater and hat that could sprinkle baby powder out of holes in the top of its head! Uh huh. Li'l Val was lovin' her some plastic baby doll powder dispenser! Mine was a little boy doll, dressed in purple-and-white, with a crocheted baseball cap to cover his powder holes. Sis's was a little girl doll, dressed in green-and-white, a southern belle with a floppy hat to cover her powder holes. But that's neither here nor there. Just pointing out that other daddies bring stuff to their kids when they return from business trips.

Perhaps I should have sent Hick a text elaborating on what form a proper souvenir might take. Here is what he brought The Pony from France.


Yes. That's two giant Toblerones. Forgive me, because I am ignorant in geography, and most definitely not a world traveler. But I do not think that Toblerone is a product of France. Just sayin'. I'm thinking that Hick most likely picked them up at the airport. Maybe in the duty-free shop! Or...more likely...Hick stopped at Walmart on the way home from the airport Saturday night for some Toblerones, because he forgot to bring anything for The Pony.

I don't know why I'm so concerned about The Pony getting what might or might not be chocolate bars that flew across the ocean.

I got absolutely nothing.

16 comments:

  1. Have some of The Pony's Toblerone--it's delicious!!

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    1. He has not yet offered. And after I gave him my cake at his special award (nope, not a leg lamp) dinner!

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  2. I vote for Walgreens as the source...

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    1. Hick DOES frequent Walgreens. And I thought it was just to get in good with the employees so he can get his retirement delivery job. Until I found out about his application to that unmarked storefront drugstore that uses a Casey's clerk to screen applications.

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  3. I know I've seen these for sale in France but I'm not sure where they originate. But I will say i detest the shape of this chocolate. Every time i try to eat this stuff I scrape the roof of my mouth.

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    1. Chocolate should not be painful!

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  4. It says right on the box, "of Switzerland." Maybe he just SAID he went to France--or Walmart.

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    1. You seem to think that Val reads fine print. Perhaps the spying was better from Switzerland. Or Walmart.

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  5. Sorry, I could have guessed that you would be without gifts from afar.

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    1. Let's face it. You have one of these gift-givers just like Hick. So you have inside information.

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  6. I'm thinking they guys shipping parts from Germany may have made their way to Switzerland. Nah, probably an airport impulse buy. No French perfume for you? Shame on Hick.

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    1. I hope they climbed over the Alps, singing. IF that's geographically possible. Val is not on a BFF basis with maps.

      If only Hick had brought me perfume...I could slather it on and stink up the house like he does with his Chaps when he's trying to impress someone at work.

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  7. Yup, I think I've seen 'em for sale around these parts, too. Just sayin'.

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    1. And I'm pretty sure you don't live in France. I may not be good with geography, but even I know that France is not a city in Arizona.

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  8. "I like to shop at the duty free shop."

    As I think about it, my Dad traveled often, Germany, UK, Japan, Hoboken and I don;t remember him ever bringing home a souvenir, or being upset that he brought nothing special home.

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    1. I don't remember my dad, or Hick, ever building a sailboat in the basement, or being upset that they didn't. So it looks like we're even!

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