Thursday, May 26, 2016

DAY THREE of the Summer of Val's Discontent

DAY THREE

Still no Diet Coke in sight at the gas station chicken store!

I ask you...is THIS any way to run a business? Not only has Val forsaken that establishment her daily $1.69 for a 44 oz Diet Coke...she has taken her scratch-off business elsewhere! They're gonna need to sell a lot of chicken to make up for those losses. Contrary to The Pony's theory, the gas station chicken store did NOT run out of Diet Coke because Val was in there filling up a 44 oz vat of it daily since her retirement. Okay. Since the evening BEFORE her retirement. You'd celebrate too, if all you had was 4 hours of not-work left, FOREVER.

Seriously. How can these people not fix their Diet Coke dispenser? Let the record show that the paper sign taped over the spigot said OUT. Not BROKEN. I can only assume the store has gone without Diet Coke because the owner's wife is out of town. If SHE was in the building, she would have seen that the land flowed with Diet Coke and chicken. She is not one to be trifled with. Everybody is shaking in his shoes when she's on the prowl. The owner himself is a laid-back kind of guy. He reminds me of Ned Flanders. His view would be that there are still 17 other kinds of soda for folks to select. He's probably not a Diet Coke drinker.

It would behoove those folks to remedy the Diet Coke situation forthwith! Because since the initial dalliance with Diet Pepsi, Val has gone on the prowl for another supplier. And found one, just up the road. Uh huh. The former Voice of the Village, now a geometric letter, also has fountain Diet Coke! And do you know what it costs there? Are you ready for this? Only 79 cents! That makes it 83 cents with tax! Yep. Any size fountain drink is 79 cents there. What a draw to bring in customers this summer!

Of course, their Diet Coke is not as good. But it's Diet Coke, not Diet Pepsi. That's sayin' something.

Why no diet coke after THREE DAYS, you chicken people? If that beverage was merely OUT, solving the problem does not take a rocket scientist.

I don't like to brag about my rich tapestry of life experiences, but let the record show that one of Val's work threads was woven through a job as a clerk at a Casey's General Store. Which is not to say that I screened delivery drivers for unmarked pharmacies operating out of storefronts in long-closed plazas. Yep. Val is a convenience store insider. She knows the ice in those soda fountains is not made inside them, like crescent cubes in a Frig II, if you will. Nope. That ice comes from bags taken from inventory and sliced open and dumped in the top by a clerk standing on a chair. You always fill the ice before leaving your shift to the next clerk. That's common courtesy.

Anyhoo...when the soda runs out, all you have to do is hook up the hoses under the counter to connect a canister of CO2, and a box containing a bag of soda syrup. It takes five minutes. Unless there is some newfangled technotronic way of dispensing fountain soda. And judging by the look of the gas station chicken store...I'd say they are not on the cutting edge.

I want my Diet Coke! And so do all the other Diet Cokeheads! Without it, our life has no purpose. We will lay around the landscape like Salvador Dali clocks.

Like a Vidalia onion must come from only 20 counties in Georgia, and Scotch must come from Scotland...the blend of other Diet Coke at other convenience stores is just not the same.


8 comments:

  1. Sounds like the machine it self is out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well...only the DIET COKE part of the machine. The seven other varieties flow like the blood of anticoagulant-medicated Val when poked by the phlebotomist.

      Delete
  2. Well, now, you got me thinkin'. I thought Diet Coke was Diet Coke, no matter where you bought it and the wizards down in Atlanta would make sure that every formula matched every other formula. But now you say the 83 cent Diet Coke isn't as good as the $1.69 Diet Coke. If the chicken lady ever gets her problem solved, I'd say that's 86 cents a day you could have saved for your next trip to Disneyland.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are obviously not a connoisseur of Diet Coke. That's like thinking all wines taste the same! Not that I would know, because I don't drink wine.

      Those daily savings would NOT go towards a Disneyland excursion, but into the scratch-off ticket kitty.

      Delete
  3. I know exactly of what you speak. It's the Coke syrup that make it supreme. Sam's has that special blend I like. Hope the wife comes back soon so the job gets done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Each fountain dispensing Diet Coke is like a snowflake! Every one of them different.

      I have not seen the wife in a while. She likely has plenty of enemies. I hope no ill fortune has befallen her. I NEED MY DIET COKE!

      Delete
  4. HeWho drinks nothing other than Diet Coke likes the 2 liter bottle variety. I drink Coke. I was once a loyal Tab drinker, until I realized the sugar substitute was making my head hurt. I rarely drink soda, but when I do I prefer a very cold 12 oz. can of Coke. It burns all the way down. Makes me think of drain cleaner, clearing out anything that may be in my esophagus, all the way into my belly. When I am being good, I mix a diet Dr. Pepper with a regular one.

    Maybe the husband of the owner does a poor job of replacing the syrups and has been told NOT to touch the machine. This is how HeWho gets out of taking reservations .....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The bottles of Diet Coke are too harsh for Val. I DO love a can of regular Coke when I can't get my 44 oz Diet. I also used to love TAB.

      When I told the owner the other day (as he rang me up because the stern clerk was out having a smoke break) that it almost killed me when the Diet Coke was out...he said, "Oh, sorry. I messed up."

      So he DID have something to do with it!

      Delete