Tuesday, May 24, 2016

It All Started Out So Well...

Are you sitting down? Seriously. I don't want to be responsible for anybody fainting dead away in shock, and knockin' his noggin on the cold hard floor. At least squat down on your heels, so there's less distance for gravity to accelerate your noggin.

No, I don't have fantastic news to share. Quite the opposite. Though I WOULD like to announce, to soften the blow, perhaps, that yesterday I won $150 on two scratch-off tickets, and today I won $160 on four scratch-off tickets. You gotta play to win, you know. Anyhoo...back to the tragedy that befell Val this morning.

Don't you go worrying about Puppy Jack. He made his trip to the vet, and he's just fine. Maybe a story on that later. And don't you go worrying about Val, who made her trip to the doctor, and is just fine. Maybe a story on that later, too. Nope. The tragedy happened between the vet appointment for Jack and the doctor appointment for Val.

Everything was hunky dory. We arrived at 7:55 for Jack's appointment. Were out by 8:20. Stopped by a convenience store not frequented frequently by Val for lottery purposes, just because we were passing by, and she had told The Pony this morning that she was going to cash in some winners and get more there on the way home. Thus the windfall for today's lottery take.

Yes. We were firing on all cylinders. From that convenience store, we headed for Backroads. We took a left at the four-way stop beside The Pony's language teacher's mother's furniture store, just to ride through the industrial park and miss a stoplight and go past the new convenience store site that is still under construction. Then we hit the lake road, because who doesn't want to drive by a lake when the morning is brand-spankin'-new, with sunshine all around, and the sky a particularly pretty shade of blue, and a little puppy chillin' on The Pony's lap, and the days of The Forever Vacation are stretched out ahead like a never-ending paper ribbon of those rainbow candy dots?


After we passed the lake, we pulled up to the drive-thru mailbox (so as not to smell a dead mouse) in order to mail the phone bill. I waited to pull out onto the street so a very large semi tractor trailer truck had room to round the bend by the Montessori school. Wouldn't you know it, that truck was marked with a little triangle showing BLASTING MATERIALS. So Val's courtesy paid off.

From the post office road, we headed to the gas station chicken store for Val's 44 oz Diet Coke. The magical elixir came early today, my friends, due to the 3:00 doctor appointment, which was sure to drag into the evening hours. A Diet-Coked-up Val is a kinder, gentler Val. I waited at the stoplight for traffic to clear, then made my right-on-red (cautioning The Pony that Oklahoma may not have such a law as Missouri) and turned immediately right again into the gas station chicken store parking lot, and pulled into my rightful parking space, first one, closest to the building.

Yes, my friends, the day couldn't get any better! I'm surprised that Brady Bunch song, "It's a Sunshine Day," wasn't playing on my Sirius XM 70s station. I grabbed my correct change, bade a short goodbye to The Pony and the puppy, and headed inside, my heart quickening with the thought of my 44 oz Diet Coke.

Two trucks were unloading their goods. One of the deliverymen waited at the counter with his bill of lading, ready to hand it to the new little red-headed clerk dude who only yesterday had sold me a $50 winner. I stepped past him and pulled my 44 oz foam cup from the dispenser. I pushed it under the ice chute (not too much) and then set it under the Diet Coke lever.

OUT!

A paper sign taped across the Diet Coke logo said OUT!

OUT!

Hick in a tuxedo pumping a handcar! What's a Val to do when the Diet Coke is out?

I settled for the lesser cola, and had a Diet Pepsi.

The apopadopalyspe is near.

10 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Indeed! And the gas station chicken store was still OUT of Diet Coke today! What's up with that?

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  2. I know the feeling. I love Diet Coke. Can't stand Diet Pepsi. Whenever the clerk-waitress-server-type-person says "how about Diet Pepsi?", I always say REGULAR Pepsi then. Wothehell is this world coming to when everybody doesn't serve Diet Coke?

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    1. I know! A world without Diet Coke is like Hick without a non-Val-approved project! A world without joy. A world without purpose.

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  3. There's always something, isn't there? I'm more of a Diet Dr. Pepper person myself, but I do prefer Diet Coke to Diet Pepsi. The photo of the rainbow candy dots brought back memories of buying penny candy at the corner confectionery.
    And, aren't you the lucky one to win big two days in a row!

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    1. I enjoy a good Diet Dr. Pepper every now and then. Or even a good Diet Root Beer. A good Diet Pepsi? There's no such thing!

      Oh, don't get me started on my childhood candy habits! Do you know how much 50 cents every two weeks bought back then? You probably do! There's a post there somewhere...

      My luck HAS been running high. Along with my spirits. The euphoria of the newly-retired, I guess.

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  4. Val, do tell, which domination and kind of scratch off do you purchase? Perhaps if you invest enough in education through the MO Lottery, and hit the jackpot, then you could start your hand basket factory.

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    1. Okay, here are my insider secrets:

      Go to molottery(dot)com, hover on the games, and go in through the drop-down to SCRATCHERS. Click on that and scroll down until you see the different games. Click on any that appeal to you, so you can see their prize distribution and chances of winning.

      I play the $5 tickets, because I get the best return. Games that have a lot of lower level prizes, because I'm not necessarily going for the life-altering fortune. I just want a nest egg to keep playing. Just in case, you know, I might accidentally win a big jackpot. Can't win if you don't play!

      Of course I only play the lottery to help fund education, you know...

      My handbasket factory is currently on the back burner. The front and second back burners are full of Pony-car-buying and puppy-raising and writing.

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  5. I PREFER Diet Pepsi, but then I've always been a renegade!!

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    Replies
    1. I suppose you also enjoy Miracle Whip instead of mayonnaise?

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