Wednesday, August 13, 2014

A Culinary Adventure

I just got back from the doctor, and boy are my arms tired! WAIT! That's not right. That's what happens when I just fly in from Tulsa. But I DID just get back from the doctor, with a glowing report after my recent outpatient surgery, and an appointment for February, I don't know why, now that I'm healed after never even being sick in that department. Oh, well. Those sick days aren't going to use themselves, huh, Mabel?

Do you know how much I hated leaving school early today to get to that appointment? Yeah. About this much, though I might be overestimating my sorrow.

On the way back, nigh on 2:30 p.m. according to T-Hoe's sundial (okay, T-Hoe has as many gadgets as a Swiss Army Knife, but a sundial isn't one of them--I'm fibbing), we stopped for lupper. That's because we missed lunch, and I was not about to volunteer to make supper a couple hours after eating.

Hick started out looking for Outback Steakhouse. As with so many of Hick's grand schemes, he could not find the Outback. So he did the next best thing...took me to a little Chinese restaurant next to the Goodwill store. I think he said Goodwill. It could have been a flea market or antique store for all I know. And if the little Chinese restaurant had been a snake, it would have bit him, as far as Hick knew. He kept talking about it, and driving around a strip mall (that's little shops in a long building, not an adult entertainment area), saying he had eaten there and the food was really good, but he just couldn't seem to remember where it was.

"Oh, do you mean Liu Shun Wok?"

"Yeah. I guess so. Do you see it?"

"Right there."

"Yeah. That's it. It's not a buffet. Just a little place. But the food was good. I think."

You might think that with "Shun Wok" in the name, it might be best to continue looking for the outback. But the food in that little restaurant was quite delicious. We had the lunch special for $4.65. That's right. $4.65! Can't beat that with a stick! Can't beat that with Val-in-a-Recliner! For our $4.65, I had the stir-fried cashew chicken with steamed rice, two crab rangoon, and hot-and-sour soup. Hick had the Hunan chicken with fried rice, two crab rangoon, and hot-and-sour soup. Perhaps I've mentioned that I'm a big fan of hot-and-sour soup. This was fantastic! I daresay it was better than my favorite here in Backroads. Hick, not normally a fan of soup that is liquid, also enjoyed it. I had him pegged for an egg-drop man, but he slurped up every drop of his hot-and-sour liquid.

There was just one problem. I'm used to drinking my soup, not eating it with a round soup spoon. Of course I couldn't do that in public, out of a glass bowl, rather than in my dark basement lair, out of a plastic quart container. Still, the soup was tasty. As was my cashew chicken. Did I say there was only one problem? Make that two. On my second bite of steamed rice with cashews, chicken, celery, and carrot...I broke a tooth. Maybe. There was a terrible, horrendous grinding clicking sound from my right jaw area. So loud that even Hick heard it, and he was told just this week that he has profound hearing loss and could benefit from a hearing aid. But I felt no pain. Not about Hick's hearing loss. About that white thing that I picked out of my mouth that Hick held out his hand for, inspected with his one eye, and declared that it COULD be a piece of tooth, or a piece of rice that wasn't steamed, or a piece of bone from the dicing of the chicken. Mmm...doesn't that make you want to run out to Liu Shun Wok? It should. Because that food was a tasty bargain, and I did not begrudge the proprietors the possible breakage of my enamel. Yes, I continued eating.

Let the record show that Hick and I were the only people in the restaurant. Hick said it seemed like a Mom and Pop place, but I thought it was more of a Mom and Son place. What it really reminded me of was Babu's Pakistani restaurant, the one very, very bad man Jerry Seinfeld encouraged him to open, which never had any customers besides Jerry and Kramer and perhaps Elaine taking an IQ test for George.

I'm not trying to be a snob. But I don't think the health department had ever crossed the threshold of Liu Shun Wok. I looked at my plate, and then at Hick's plate. Mine was plain white (well, many years ago I imagine it had been white, which had kind of faded to gray) and Hick's had a faint pattern of a flower etched upon it.

"I think our plates came from Goodwill."

"It wouldn't surprise me. You can buy dishes all day long at the auction, for two, three dollars for a set. I never buy dishes unless there's one that I really like."

I'm sure Goodwill washes the dishes before they sell them, right? Anyhoo...the meal was very flavorful, and the service good enough. When we went in and sat down, I had told Hick, "This looks like a small businessman trying to make a go of it. Short of finding bugs in the food, you should leave a decent tip." Even though I found a surprise in my food or mouth, I was still game for the tip. Hick left four dollars.

My mom would have been outraged. She thinks two dollars is the proper amount of tip for a full service meal, no matter what the cost.

9 comments:

  1. A proper Chinese restaurant should have a bit of a greasy smell, a slightly sticky floor and a little old lady in the back yelling at a bunch of people that ignore her.

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  2. An almost 50% tip...when I was a waitress, for that kind of tip, I would have walked you and Hick out to the car, adjusted your seatbelts, and given you a little after-meal mint to suck on on the way home.

    And THEN I would have taken your picture, so that when you came to eat at the restaurant again, I would be sure to shove you two into my station. (And if you had gotten any deportation paperwork in the mail, I would be sure to hand-deliver it. No Babu for you.)

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  3. Hick is a good man. My dad was like your mom. If he went to a diner kind of place and sat at the counter he didn't figure he should leave any tip. I couldn't count the number of times I snuck back in and added some moolah to his "tip".

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  4. There's a good reason Babu's restaurant didn't make it. Have you ever eaten Pakistani food? Not one of the world's great cuisines.

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  5. What a bargain--and a generous tip.
    Some of the sayings in your post remind me of my mom--"if it was a snake it would've bit him" and "can't beat that with a stick."
    Thanks for the smile and memory!

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  6. Yay Hick. Maybe they can afford to wash the dishes now. Or buy a few dozen clean ones from the Goodwill.

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  7. joeh,
    That describes our local Backroads restaurant of choice. But you forgot the Christmas lights that hang around the ceiling all year.

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    Sioux,
    What? You wouldn't even burp us? Thanks for stopping our deportation, though. Sometimes the mail is late because a scofflaw puts it in a neighbor's storage unit until he can find somebody else to deliver it.

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    Catalyst,
    Yes, we have to cover for the uninformed tippers. Their feelings would be hurt if we blatantly told them it was not enough. They see themselves as generous to a fault.

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    Stephen,
    No. I have never eaten Pakistani food. Nor do I intend to. And you can forget the haggis, too. Just so Joe knows, and is not offended, because I certainly would not discriminate against one specific cuisine. You know how sensitive Joe is to the feelings of every subgroup on planet Earth.

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    Donna,
    You will be pleased to know, I am sure, that I teach The Pony those sayings so he will be able to write in cliches as well. Passing the baton...

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    Tammy,
    I think they will wash this set until it disintegrates. I also think they were disappointed that we both asked for water to drink. They had cans of soda sitting on the counter, and no fountain soda machine. Two more glasses to wash, when we could have paid more and chugged straight from the aluminum.

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  8. Sounds just like someone else I know, directionally challenged, unless he is out on a towing call. It is selective hearing, selective seeing and selective finding things. I swear we are married to the same man!!! Mine is a big tipper, too. All of our kids had first jobs as servers in an Olive Garden, maybe that's why he always tips big ....

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  9. Kathy,
    I hope your He Who hasn't entered the dry-skin beard-flakes stage yet. I have always tipped well since working at the unemployment office, and seeing the actual wages the servers are paid.

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