A Culinary Adventure

I just got back from the doctor, and boy are my arms tired! WAIT! That's not right. That's what happens when I just fly in from Tulsa. But I DID just get back from the doctor, with a glowing report after my recent outpatient surgery, and an appointment for February, I don't know why, now that I'm healed after never even being sick in that department. Oh, well. Those sick days aren't going to use themselves, huh, Mabel?

Do you know how much I hated leaving school early today to get to that appointment? Yeah. About this much, though I might be overestimating my sorrow.

On the way back, nigh on 2:30 p.m. according to T-Hoe's sundial (okay, T-Hoe has as many gadgets as a Swiss Army Knife, but a sundial isn't one of them--I'm fibbing), we stopped for lupper. That's because we missed lunch, and I was not about to volunteer to make supper a couple hours after eating.

Hick started out looking for Outback Steakhouse. As with so many of Hick's grand schemes, he could not find the Outback. So he did the next best thing...took me to a little Chinese restaurant next to the Goodwill store. I think he said Goodwill. It could have been a flea market or antique store for all I know. And if the little Chinese restaurant had been a snake, it would have bit him, as far as Hick knew. He kept talking about it, and driving around a strip mall (that's little shops in a long building, not an adult entertainment area), saying he had eaten there and the food was really good, but he just couldn't seem to remember where it was.

"Oh, do you mean Liu Shun Wok?"

"Yeah. I guess so. Do you see it?"

"Right there."

"Yeah. That's it. It's not a buffet. Just a little place. But the food was good. I think."

You might think that with "Shun Wok" in the name, it might be best to continue looking for the outback. But the food in that little restaurant was quite delicious. We had the lunch special for $4.65. That's right. $4.65! Can't beat that with a stick! Can't beat that with Val-in-a-Recliner! For our $4.65, I had the stir-fried cashew chicken with steamed rice, two crab rangoon, and hot-and-sour soup. Hick had the Hunan chicken with fried rice, two crab rangoon, and hot-and-sour soup. Perhaps I've mentioned that I'm a big fan of hot-and-sour soup. This was fantastic! I daresay it was better than my favorite here in Backroads. Hick, not normally a fan of soup that is liquid, also enjoyed it. I had him pegged for an egg-drop man, but he slurped up every drop of his hot-and-sour liquid.

There was just one problem. I'm used to drinking my soup, not eating it with a round soup spoon. Of course I couldn't do that in public, out of a glass bowl, rather than in my dark basement lair, out of a plastic quart container. Still, the soup was tasty. As was my cashew chicken. Did I say there was only one problem? Make that two. On my second bite of steamed rice with cashews, chicken, celery, and carrot...I broke a tooth. Maybe. There was a terrible, horrendous grinding clicking sound from my right jaw area. So loud that even Hick heard it, and he was told just this week that he has profound hearing loss and could benefit from a hearing aid. But I felt no pain. Not about Hick's hearing loss. About that white thing that I picked out of my mouth that Hick held out his hand for, inspected with his one eye, and declared that it COULD be a piece of tooth, or a piece of rice that wasn't steamed, or a piece of bone from the dicing of the chicken. Mmm...doesn't that make you want to run out to Liu Shun Wok? It should. Because that food was a tasty bargain, and I did not begrudge the proprietors the possible breakage of my enamel. Yes, I continued eating.

Let the record show that Hick and I were the only people in the restaurant. Hick said it seemed like a Mom and Pop place, but I thought it was more of a Mom and Son place. What it really reminded me of was Babu's Pakistani restaurant, the one very, very bad man Jerry Seinfeld encouraged him to open, which never had any customers besides Jerry and Kramer and perhaps Elaine taking an IQ test for George.

I'm not trying to be a snob. But I don't think the health department had ever crossed the threshold of Liu Shun Wok. I looked at my plate, and then at Hick's plate. Mine was plain white (well, many years ago I imagine it had been white, which had kind of faded to gray) and Hick's had a faint pattern of a flower etched upon it.

"I think our plates came from Goodwill."

"It wouldn't surprise me. You can buy dishes all day long at the auction, for two, three dollars for a set. I never buy dishes unless there's one that I really like."

I'm sure Goodwill washes the dishes before they sell them, right? Anyhoo...the meal was very flavorful, and the service good enough. When we went in and sat down, I had told Hick, "This looks like a small businessman trying to make a go of it. Short of finding bugs in the food, you should leave a decent tip." Even though I found a surprise in my food or mouth, I was still game for the tip. Hick left four dollars.

My mom would have been outraged. She thinks two dollars is the proper amount of tip for a full service meal, no matter what the cost.