I seem to have a magnetic personality. Through no effort on my part, people and creatures and erosional materials are drawn to me.
*Drivers cross the center line just to get my attention.
*Ticks take flight, jumping and parasailing like tiny arachnid flying squirrels, to feast on my very being.
*Students cluster outside my door before school, even though they know they belong elsewhere.
*A patina of windblown soil coats my black Tahoe like fairy dust, letting everyone know how special I am.
*Shoppers converge on the empty aisle as soon as the nose of my cart enters.
*Folks I don't even know call me to inquire as to my political beliefs.
I'm not that special. Really. I only seem attractive. Because I oppose everything in the universe.
Sounds like someone needs a bowl of catnip!
ReplyDeleteStephen,
ReplyDeleteWith a side of 44 oz. Diet Coke. And maybe a gas station chicken leg. And while we're at it, a pack of little chocolate donuts.
Maybe it's not my magnetic personality, but my gravitational pull. Today a blue-tick hound in a red collar darted out of the woods and into my path. I slammed on my anti-lock brakes and avoided a roadkill. He escaped by the margin of a single blue-tick hair on his chinny chin chin.