Sometimes, It's Who You Know. Sometimes It's Not.

Hick had a tale when he returned from a half-day of selling at his SUS2.5 (Storage Unit Store 2.5) on Friday.

"This guy come in. He's a regular customer. I sold him a knife. A CASE knife, with five blades. I knew he worked at our bank. I've seen him in there. He must be a manager or something. He might have just got a promotion. You've probably seen him in there."

"I've never seen a man in our bank. Except a teller, a couple months ago, and only that one time."

"Well, I don't remember what we was talkin' about, but I said, 'Oh, and I've got a complaint about the bank.' He said, 'Let me guess. It's the drive-thru.' And I said, 'Nah. That don't bother me none. I'm mad because it cost me $10 to take my money out in a cashier's check.'"

"WHAT? You had the chance, and didn't tell him how your bad-knee wife can hardly walk into the lobby and stand for 20 minutes waiting to be waited on?"

"No. But he said that banks have rules, and he doesn't always agree with them. And that sometimes it depends on which teller I get."

"I can understand that. A newer teller may not have the authority to waive a fee for a cashier's check. Or it might depend on the balance in the account, or how long you've been banking with them. A new teller might not know all that, or think to check it."

"Whatever. Complaining to him didn't do no good! He didn't offer to refund my $10!"

Anyhoo... Hick said the guy told him that the drive-thru issue is about to go away. That they just have trouble hiring people. Hick was shocked to hear that they pay $20 per hour, with benefits, and still can't hire a teller. AND that if they already have experience, they can make $25 per hour.

I suppose people just don't want to work these days.

Getting the Show On the Road

Thursday, Hick hand-delivered letters to neighbors within 200 feet of the Double Hovel flip house. This is a requirement for the variance request to the city in order to divide the Double Hovel into two separate properties. That way people can get a loan with nothing down, a feat which is impossible with both houses, since there's the opportunity to make income off of it.

Anyhoo... the letter simply stated the reason for our variance request, and gave the date, time, and location of the public hearing that will be held on January 15. That way people with concerns or objections can show up and voice them at the hearing. Hick will be there, too, in case there are questions from the public or the city. If the variance is granted, we can immediately update the listing to sell each house separately. Even while waiting for a survey, and for the county to record the new parcels for tax purposes. 

Anyhoo... Hick said he took the letters to 18 houses. I had no idea there were that many within 200 feet of our property line.

"All the people I talked to agreed that it is stupid to not be able to split it. One lady said, 'That's the city for you!' Another little old lady said, 'I stopped and wanted to buy your little house, but now we've bought this one.' Nobody had any problem with what we're trying to do."

"How many people did you talk to?"

"Maybe six or eight. The others didn't answer the door. So I left it in their mailbox."

"That's not a surprise. I wouldn't answer the door if you were on my porch."

"That weird skinny two-story house next to us had a message on their Ring that they couldn't come to the door right now. But when I went back by there, they had taken the letter out of the mailbox."

"Again, I'm not surprised. Why should they open their door to someone they don't know, that they're not expecting, with a paper in their hand?"

"They DO know me, Val! I was over there for a year, working on those houses."

"That doesn't mean they know you. They don't want to get involved in something. Easier to read a letter you've left behind."

Hick doesn't think anybody will show up to complain about the division of the property. So the city won't have any reason to deny the variance. The yards will be bigger than some houses that were already grandfathered into the ordinance.

We'll see what happens. We are optimistic. If the variance is granted, we just need a survey to provide to the county Recorder of Deeds. Then it's hurry up and wait to see if buyers respond to the new separate listings.

The HORROR of the New Year

Hick went to bed early on New Year's Eve, around 9:00, which is actually late for him. He said he was up at ten minutes before midnight for the bathroom, but just went back to bed.

I shut down HIPPIE at the kitchen table at 11:45, and went to the living room to see if there was a New Year's Eve countdown for central time. I got distracted by some other show, but I heard fireworks going off at midnight. Whoop-ti-doo, another year come and gone.

New Year's Day, I followed my regular routine. Hick went off to work on the house of a Senior Center acquaintance. I made some black-eyed peas to have with supper, and washed dishes. Imagine my HORROR when I sat down at the kitchen table and turned on HIPPIE just before noon, and was greeted with NO INTERNET.

What in the Not-Heaven? It worked fine the previous night. Was this due to some update at midnight? I tried my usual techniques of disconnecting, snooping through the settings, turning things on and off, restarting. Nothing worked. I figured I was out of luck until Hick came home to go to the basement and unplug assorted electronical thingies.

Hick did that before I left for town. Then again when I got home and discovered that hadn't solved my problem. What kind of a world is it when unplugging and re-plugging appliances does not fix them???

I called Genius. I know he can't fix my internet from Pittsburgh, but I figured he might have an idea of what I should try next. He did say to try our cell phones in AIRPLANE mode, to see if we really didn't have internet, or if it was something with HIPPIE. Turns out it WAS a problem with our internet, since we could not access it with our phones in AIRPLANE mode.

Huh. Now what? I called DISH. That's how we get our internet. With a separate satellite from the TV satellite. In fact, it just got fixed this summer. Or maybe last summer. But they had to replace that dish from DISH, and used one from HUGHESNET, though we still pay DISH for the service.

Anyhoo... the wait time on the call was seven minutes. After 10 minutes, I got a real person. I explained the situation. How it worked fine at 15 minutes before 2025 started, but not the next day. The Rep asked if anything had changed. Had somebody maybe mowed the yard, and hit the dish with debris? No. Nothing happened. The weather was clear. Nobody went near the internet dish that is mounted on the end of the porch,

The Rep said to unplug the modem for 15 seconds, then plug it back in. Hick had already done that. Twice. For five minutes each time. It usually restores my internet. Not this time. The Rep asked if the lights were on, on the modem. Well. I don't know, because I was in the kitchen, and the modem is in Hick's workshop in the basement. I sent him back downstairs.

The Rep said if the lights were on, to unplug the modem, and plug it into another outlet. When I repeated that we had tried that tactic, she said to do it again, that she was sending a signal. Huh. Hick went down and did it. The Rep told me to restart my laptop.

IT WORKED! 

I have no idea what kind of dark magic The Rep used. I was thrilled to regain my internet at 5:30 p.m. Especially without having to endure a service visit from a repairman. 

I called Genius. Heh, heh! At the instant he answered the phone, I think I heard the sound of his eyes rolling, all the way from Pittsburgh.

"Do you have a minute?"

"Well... our supper is about to be delivered."

"I don't have any questions. I just wanted to update you. I KNOW you would be awake all night, worrying about me not having internet, heh, heh. The Rep from DISH fixed it over the phone! She told us to unplug it and all that crap that we'd already done, but then she said she was SENDING A SIGNAL! And it worked! What's with that?"

"Oh. Yeah. I don't know how to explain it to you. But sometimes when things go wrong, it's just your laptop, or something with the router. So a restart of your computer, or unplugging something will work. It makes it re-set. But sometimes it's something else. So by her sending a signal, it's like sending an email. Not an actual email. But there's a message in an inbox kind of thing. When the router can't connect, it checks that mail, and gets the message that is essentially telling it to re-set itself. So it does, and then you have internet again."

Okay. I get it now. Kind of.

All parties assured me that it was nothing to do with the New Year. The timing seems a bit suspect to me, but what do I know? NOTHING about technology.

It's the Little Things

Not every resident on The Pony's route has a dog with a taste for Pony flesh. Some of them are downright kind. Like the family who left a little treat for The Pony on Saturday.

Isn't that the cutest thing? The little mail truck. Or LLV, as The Pony would technically label it. The Long Life Vehicle from the 1980s, with no air conditioning, and practically non-existent heat. The Pony now has a Metris, the mini van that replaced the LLV as they broke down beyond repair, even though The Pony's office has about half of them still in service.

Also in the treat bag are some dark chocolate Hershey Kisses, and some Kinder candy. It's the little things that bring a smile, and make that mail carrier feel appreciated.