We Whined and Dined The Pony

One request The Pony made, for the 10 days that he's home for Christmas, was to go eat at Lambert's, the Throwed Roll Restaurant. We've only been there a couple of times. It's at least a 90-minute drive for us, maybe two hours depending on which way we go. Because things have a way of going all wonky when we plan them out, Hick declared that we'd go on Tuesday. Even though he'd been driving hundreds of miles on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday.

We decided on lunch, to make the trip there and back during daylight hours. Off we went in A-Cad, on the two-hour route, in order to stop and get The Pony some new shoes. Can't have him prancing all over Oklahoma unshod when the winter wind comes sweeping down the plain. The crowd wasn't too bad when we got to the restaurant at 1:00. We didn't have to wait to be seated. Got our booth on the first row, three booths back. Where we were on the main roll thoroughfare.

Our waitress was right with us, filling our drink orders, giving us time to decide what we wanted. She seemed to have a slight attitude problem. Not cheery. Like she was put-out to wait on us. Which I'm pretty sure is a task listed in her job description. She was still a bit surly when she returned with the drinks. She was a young thing, maybe college age, maybe a few years older. I brought it up to Hick, but he said I was imagining it, even though The Pony concurred that she had a bit of an edge.

We tore paper towels off the roll to use as our plates when the dinner rolls started being thrown. We each caught a worthy specimen, and set to eatin'. The Pony prefers just butter. Or the butter-like product provided in tiny tubs in a large tub on the table. Hick likes his the same way, and would have liked some apple butter that was brought around by a lady with a bucket, but we had no plates yet, so he couldn't have it. I enjoy honey on my rolls. I write plural but I only had one. They're HUGE.

A guy went by with fried potatoes, which Hick wanted, but again, we had no plates yet. The Tater Dude caught his eye, and said, "I feel ya, man. I'll be back." The food arrived, in a pretty timely manner, it's just that when you get there, you want to try all the stuff that's going around right then. I had my heart set on some blackeyed peas, but they were slow in coming.

The Pony had the shrimp, with applesauce and cornbread. In this picture, he had set his bowl of applesauce aside to make room for some of my baby carrots.

I had the chicken livers. They come with gravy, but I specified without. That's a big ol' pile of livers right there. The Pony said, "Do you know how many chickens it must have taken to make your plate?" Huh. I might have told him that the ocean called, and it was running out of shrimp...but I didn't. I also had the baby carrots, and SLAW (which wasn't all that great). In this picture, I have set aside my bowl of not-that-great slaw, in order to make room for some fried potatoes from Hick's hook-up guy (he gave me too many, which ended up in Hick's skillet), and some blackeyed peas (which also weren't that great). The livers, though, were FABULOUS.

Hick had the BBQ pork steak, baked beans, mashed potatoes and gravy, and baby carrots, along with the pass-arounds of fried potatoes and fried okra. His came in a skillet for some reason, with three sides instead of two. Hick said his pork steak was not as good as the ones he makes on Gassy-G.

Anyhoo...we were all wrapped up in our feeding frenzy, barely starting on our dinner plates, when Hick ran out of Diet Coke. I feel for him. I really do. But I'm a sipper, not a chugger, and savor my beverage, especially when I have a lengthy drive ahead of me. It doesn't pay to be a Diet Coke glutton when Hick will be sweaving you home over 90 minutes of twisty road.

Hick kept looking for our waitress. She seemed to have disappeared. So much so that I thought maybe there'd been a shift change, though that was unlikely at a 1:30 in a restaurant that opened at 11:00. Hick told the Fried-Okra Gal that if she saw our waitress, to send her over for soda refills. He also told an older lady who was walking around asking if everything was okay. She went and got those refills herself, and was back in an instant with Sprite for The Pony and Diet Coke for Hick. I'm thinking she must have been some kind of manager.

Hick had that Waitress stuck in his side like a thorn. He kept complaining about her, saying I'd been right. And then she appeared! To ask if we needed anything. I'm thinking that Manager Lady must have had a word with her, because she was borderline polite now. Faux cheerful. Hick petulantly told her that we were fine NOW, now that we had some soda. Waitress started making regular appearances, each with a civil tongue in her head. I actually told Hick that I thought she was getting better. The Pony agreed. But Hick was still cranky.

I bet that Waitress came back three more times, to see if we needed anything. I think she was fishing, to see if we'd ask for take-out boxes and get the Not-Heaven out of there. We kept eating, telling her we were fine. Then Hick asked for boxes. She brought them, and Hick let her go. She came back again. I told her we were just putting our stuff in the boxes. She kind of lingered. Then left. Hick dropped the bill, then almost put his good eye out on his skillet handle while bending under the table to pick it up, The Pony not being persuaded to crawl under. Waitress came back, and STILL Hick didn't pay her.

I knew you paid at the table, because we'd heard the people on each side of us discussing it. In fact, they'd tried to use their card, and were told that Lambert's only accepts cash or check. I KNEW that Hick knew, because I'd said that we could send The Pony out for my purse, so I could write a check, or take out some of the Christmas cash I'd been shopping with. Hick said he had enough in his pocket from his auction money. So I couldn't figure out what was going on, and I finally said, "Did you pay yet?" Even though I knew he hadn't.

"Oh. Do I pay you now?"

"Yes." The Waitress wasn't elaborating. Just waiting for her money.

"Oh. I thought you paid up front on the way out," said Hick.

"I wondered what you were waiting for." I'm not going to be a party to Hick's petulance.

"He even dropped the bill on the floor, and wanted ME to get it for him," said The Pony. There is no loyalty among Thevictorians.

"Maybe he was going to leave without paying," said the Waitress.

SCREECH THE ANTIQUATED PHONOGRAPH NEEDLE!

That didn't quite seem like an appropriate thing for Waitress to say, given that she was already in Hick's doghouse. But maybe she was just one of those awkward people, thinking she was making a joke. I gave her the benefit of the doubt, even though she might have been getting all passive-aggressive because she got a butt-chewing from that Manager Lady due to Hick's comment.

Anyhoo...Hick took out his cash and gave it to her with the ticket, and Waitress left to get change. She brought it back and didn't try to keep it or hint for a tip, and Hick told her to keep the change, and gave her a bit more, which I think amounted to a 16 percent tip.

That Waitress should thank her lucky stars that Hick was full of bread and fried food!

While we'd been waiting for our plates to arrive, this came down the aisle

Cinnamon rolls bigger than a cat's head. Bigger than (formerly Puppy) Jack's head! These were not free pass-arounds, but a delectable treat to be had for the low, low price of $3.50. I'm sure The Pony would have enjoyed partaking of this coma-inducing dessert, but when asked, he said he didn't want one, as he was busy eating rolls and butter. I don't see how they sell any of these cinnamon rolls, with people being stuffed to the gills with regular food. I guess maybe they just get one to take home.

All in all, The Pony's requested restaurant meal was a success. Something special for him, and food that wasn't too bad. We all had our leftovers tonight. My livers were still fabulous. The Pony had a dozen shrimp, a roll and a half, and that huge slab of cornbread. Hick warmed his own food before we were ready. I'm pretty sure he used a paper plate and not a skillet.