The Pizza Swerver and Centsible Val

Last week, Hick said that when he was done selling at his Storage Container Store on Sunday, he'd come home and we'd go to the casino for a while. He wasn't sure of the exact time, because he wanted to take advantage of the teeming crowd of junk-shoppers while the weather was nice.

Since the time was uncertain, I didn't know if we'd be having lunch at the casino, or supper. Hick usually comes home at 2:00. I didn't go get my 44 oz Diet Coke, because I didn't want Hick to arrive soon after I'd started swilling it. You don't want Val in the car for an hour after she's imbibed a barrel of caffeinated beverage. Hick texted me a couple of times that he was getting ready to leave, but that he had a customer. No big deal. It's not like we have a schedule these days.

My gambling purse was all ready to go, and I was just marking time. When Hick showed up, all I had to do was shut down New Delly and make a last stop in the bathroom. I came out to find Hick eating a sandwich.

"I thought we were going to eat there."

"We will. We can have supper. I'm having a bacon sandwich. I didn't eat at the flea market today."

That meant Hick was planning on supper at the casino, so I rummaged through FRIG II for something to take in the car. I found a piece of Casey's pizza wrapped in foil. It was only about 3 days old. I'm a fan of cold pizza, so I just carried the foil to the car with me. I waited until Hick was off the curvy blacktop, and on the divided highway before trying to eat it.

I unwrapped the pizza slice and took a bite. The best part, that triangle tip at the end. I set the slice back on the foil, which I had laying on my thigh. Let the record show that Val's thigh is ample enough to use as a dining table.

All at once, that pizza slice jolted off my leg, and tumbled towards the floor of A-Cad, only to become entangled in the open-zippered top of my gambling purse, which was between my feet.

"I should have known that it wasn't safe to lay that down with you sweaving like you do."

"Val. I'm not sweaving, as you call it. I'm just driving. You are too dramatic. I didn't make your pizza fall on the floor."

The Not-Heaven he didn't! I only wish Sir Isaac Newton had a cell phone, so I could call him and then hand the phone to HIck to hear about Newton's First Law of Motion, which says that pizza does not jump sideways off a lap, no matter how depressed it has been feeling lately.

"How can that happen on a straight road at a constant speed?" 

Hick had no retort, pithy or otherwise. I picked up my pizza and continued to consume it. It hadn't hit the floor, and even if it had, A-Cad is almost like new, not even driven by a little old lady from Pasadena, but only by Hick for trips to Oklahoma, and Val to town if T-Hoe is out of commission.

In other news, I found a penny on the Walmart parking lot yesterday.

It was in that differently-abled walkway by the differently-abled parking spaces. I usually cut down that walkway from my spot over halfway to the end of the lot, but yesterday there was a man walking a differently-abled gal along there, so I kept to the car lane as I went inside. Coming out, I took that route, and couldn't believe my eyes. A special penny, just for me.

This was a 1982. The year I went from my first teaching job to my second, halfway across the state.

Today I stopped by Orb K and parked way around at the end. I found no pennies on the way in. The wind was chilling at 37 degrees, whipping my lovely lady mullet into a disheveled haystack on my noggin. The wind also made my eyes water, in combination with the bright sun. On the way out, I had a different angle on the sun and wind. Something caught my eye.

Yup. By the red car. I couldn't quite me sure. I stood on the edge of the curb, looking. A NICKEL! A nickel on the lot is worth five pennies in the pocket! As I was getting my phone ready for a picture, holding new scratchers between my teeth, lest the wind carry them to Oz, I saw A DIME! Wow!

I swear it's in there. The nickel is to the left of that blob on the yellow stripe. And the dime is to the right of the stripe, almost at the bottom right corner of the picture. You have to zoom in, or take my undisputed word for it. Undisputed! No disputes allowed!

You're not going to believe this, but as I looked down to see if stepping my sore knees off that curb for a better picture would be feasible, I saw A PENNY!

Of course I hobbled down and snatched up that penny, and forgot all about a better picture. People were in cars at the gas pumps, anyway, probably at that very moment calling the cops about a weirdo taking pictures of the parking lot, or casing cars. I took the money and ran.

I might reach pennyillionaire status sooner than anticipated.
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These were pennies # 67 and 68 for my Future Pennyillionaire collection. I don't keep a tally of the other coins. First Penny this post, 1982. Second Penny 1972, Dime 1974, and Nickel 2000.
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