Driving the Low Bus
Mack is a good boy. He doesn't grind anybody's gears, doesn't leave oil slicks on the carpet, and understands that objects in his mirror are older than they appear. Mack is a therapy dog for local nursing homes. He's always ready to lend a soft ear when his new friends want to talk.
Now funding has dried up for Mack's therapy dog program. As if somebody in charge of allocating tax dollars suddenly threw out the STOP sign, and forgot to fold it back in. When Mack twists free of his leash and darts into traffic, nipping a runaway toddler's heels to spur him to safety, the community is split on Mack's consequences. Some feel that Mack should be put down for biting a human. Others want to reward him for saving a life.
Will Mack's newfound notoriety lead to enough donations to keep the therapy dog program going? (149 words)
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Fake Reviews
for Val’s Fake Book
Lassie..."Not since Timmy fell down that well have I been spurred to such action. To make sure this author never writes another fake book!"
Wienermobile..."I would pick up this little fella any time I saw him hitchhiking. That fake author, though, is a hot dog of enormous proportions, and deserves to hoof it to her eventual destination. Which I'm pretty sure is Not-Heaven!"
Mustard..."Thevictorian needs a good dressing-down. She is not a good author, not even a fake one. I do not relish the task of reviewing any future fake books of hers."
Urban Street Vendor Hot Dog..."I'm so upset that this fake book got fake published that I'm boiling mad! I'm steamed! Thevictorian put the cart before the dog on this one. This fake book was not ready ready for fake publication. Too much filler."
Chicago Hot Dog..."I agree! Thevictorian has thrown in everything but the kitchen sink! Do not bite on this fake effort."
Chicago Deep Dish Pizza..."Thevictorian is crusty and thick-headed and full of it! Qualities that might be good in a pizza are not good in a fake author. Do not fake-order this fake book."
Open Fire..."I don't mean to start a flame war, but how I would love to get my licks in on this fake author! At least the Wienermobile knows that Thevictorian will eventually roast."
Polish Sausage..."I love this fake book! I highly recommend it to avid fake-readers everywhere. It's bound to be one of the top sellers this year. A literary fake masterpiece!"
Hot Dog going around the movie theater Ferris wheel..."Thevictorian makes my head spin. She seems to be putting on a show of being an author. The way this fake book turned out, I'm shocked she didn't demand that the author credit go to Alan Smithee."
OK I'm in for this one, I have a thirteen year old dachshund and I know that if put into the same situation that she would be herding the kid to safety, that is unless it was one of the kids that used to harass her through the fence then she would in fact take a bite out of their crimes against fenced in dachshunds, either way Mack is not in the wrong. In fact I have enough fake money this week so "put me down" for two fake books.
ReplyDeleteGotcha! They'll be in the fake mail on Monday! Thank you for your fake patronage.
DeleteThis author, along with this little hotdog, should be put in a meat grinder for grinding out this nonsense.
ReplyDeleteYIKES! I think I might have stood in line behind you one time...
DeleteTo be perfectly FRANK(furter) I think the author is acting like a little BRAT(wurst) with all her whining about this fake little HOT DOG!!
ReplyDeleteDANG! These reviewers are kickin' my buns.
DeleteAnd did you know what is NEVER put on a hog dog in Chicago?
ReplyDeleteWhy didn't you put a review by Dr. Frank N. Furter? It seems like he would have been a natural...
I'm going to guess "mustard," because that is what I like to put on MY hot dogs. Unless it's ketchup, but I think a lot of hot dog establishments ban that, except for kids.
DeleteDarn it, Varmint! I must have been in a time warp. I can't believe I forgot Dr. Frank N. Furter. Great Scott! Now I'm toast.
You couldn't mustard up the right answer. Yep, ketchup.
DeleteI don't know my Chicago dogs. Only that they're like having a salad in a bun.
DeleteAll I see is my Cujo and think how much I love him. He is MY therapy dog.
ReplyDeleteEven the dachshund half of my feisty Jack is very loving. He especially likes to (try to) lick my lips right after he's had his snout sniffing at the cat's anus.
DeleteThe Wiener mobile response made me laugh out loud. You are a refreshing bark in the park.
ReplyDeleteSadly, I will be Wienermobileless on my journey down the Highway to Not-Heaven.
DeleteI would hope funding would find a way to help him. We were kind of on the same track with this. :)
ReplyDelete