Monday, April 3, 2017

The Cup Dumpster Mystery

You might remember how I kept hearing noises the other night, when Hick was away on his spy mission business trip, and the dogs kept going overboard with their night-barking. I figured I was just jumpy, being here by myself. Well. Wednesday I took two bags of trash out to the dumpster. I'm not THAT dirty. I just picked up seven empty Tide boxes that have been stacked on the wastebasket in the laundry room for...oh...I don't know...probably four years or so. Back when Genius was still home, I imagine. It's not MY job to take out the trash. But you see what happens if I don't. So I put those boxes in a big black trash bag. Hick should actually have put them on his burn pile, but I don't feel like waiting another four years.

Anyhoo...I had the regular bag of trash from the kitchen, and that laundry bag of trash, and I went out to walk and pull the dumpster to the end of the driveway. Jack and Juno were cutting up, growling and barking and going wild. Juno especially loves the sound of those dumpster wheels on gravel. I tossed my two trash bags in and let the lid drop. WAIT A MINUTE! What was THAT?

Our trash is always in a bag. The exception being the big box that the Casey's pizza special comes in. We had one from Thursday night that I'd already put in the dumpster beside the only other bag of trash. But something wasn't right in that dumpster. I lifted the lid and looked in.


That was a COFFEE CUP! We don't drink coffee! There's not a Starbucks around here for at least 45 miles! Who in the Not-Heaven came up my driveway and put a STARBUCKS cup in my dumpster? That dumpster was completely empty when I brought it back down the driveway last Thursday evening. And it was empty when I took out that first bag of trash, probably on Friday or Saturday.

Let's not forget that I thought I saw tire tracks in the front yard when I came home from town Wednesday. Something shenaniganny is going on here! Unless...unless...HOS had some coffee when he came by to look for new chicks in the goat shed where Hick has the hen penned up. I never see HOS down here. So I don't know when he stops by. He works nights. Workin' on the railroad, all the livelong night! But I think he's more locally located now, and doesn't drive to the city.

OR...maybe Genius had a cup of Starbucks with him when he came to pick me up Sunday morning to go to the casino. I'm pretty sure they must have a Starbucks in College Town. Yeah. That's probably it. Genius is more Starbucky than HOS. There! I just solved that mystery!

Yeah. I'm sure there's a logical, non-shenaniganny kind of explanation. I don't think Hick could be gaslighting me from...uh...up in Sweden.

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UPDATE:

Since I wrote this, I heard from Genius (just this afternoon when he got my letter of the week) that indeed, HE was the one who put the Starbucks cup in the dumpster. That's certainly a relief. Now all I have to do is figure out who drove through the yard up at the end of the driveway. 

10 comments:

  1. If anyone can sleuth their way to an answer it's you.

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    1. "I do my best," says Val, modestly polishing her neatly-trimmed fingernails on her yellow-and-white pin-striped oxford shirt lapel.

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  2. Genius is quite obviously trying to drive you around the bend. Which might account for those tire tracks.

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    1. It COULD be Genius. Another trait he inherited from Hick...the drive-Val-crazy gene.

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  3. Yeah, Genius is trying to drive you crazy so that you'll have to be put in the home for whackadoodles... and then HE can be the one to take care of Hick.

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    Replies
    1. Well...Genius is gonna hafta fight The Pony for that honor!

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  4. Replies
    1. I have a flip-case to show my Mystery, Inc. membership card. No shenanigans on Val's watch!

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  5. Shall we start calling you Sam Spade?

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    Replies
    1. That's not necessary. Velma will suffice.

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