Friday, July 10, 2015

I Shall Call Him Crumpledprintscam

This is why Val can't have nice submissions. Of the hard-copy kind.

Yeah. How fair is that? To pay a fortune for the name brand, order it right off those extortionists' HP's official website, and have it arrive like this? The generic off-brand compatible cartridge that Genius ordered for me at least arrived in perfect condition. Even it it DIDN'T fit my printer properly, even after proclaiming that it would.

So who am I to believe? Those scoffers who say, about my incompatible 1/4 the-cost-cartridge, "Well, you get what you pay for." Or those who advise me that name brand is always best? I think they're both wrong. Because I did NOT pay for a smashed cartridge. And I do not believe that this crumpled name brand will turn out better than my cheapie.

Time will tell. When I'm done shaking my current cartridge within an inch of its life, and then shake it another inch...I'll try to replace it with this HP train wreck. Fortune has not been smiling on Val Thevictorian lately. She has called a moratorium on scratch-off tickets after three unproductive bouts of ticket-buying which even stretched to her offspring's weekly letter of hope. We never both lose over a three-week spell.

This is just another sign that Even Steven has some evening to do. One way or another.

I shall call him Crumpledprintscam.

For now, I am submitting my wares electronically, and for those who only take print, I shake the old cartridge like a fiend before running a copy of my official work.

9 comments:

  1. If a spot Even Steven I'll tell him you're looking for him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can you shake your fist menacingly at him, please? And remind him about the EVEN part of his name?

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. I have a thirst for titles. In fact, I yearn for them. Oh, wait. That's what Charlene Frazier told the other designing women about her affinity for knowledge.

      I love titles. But not in the way Darrell Hammond as Sean Connery on SNL might love them...

      Delete
  3. Val--Can you run to your school and print it? Claim you're doing some "lesson planning" and need to get something printed? Not that I have EVER printed something not-school at school...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Run? That may be stretching it. That's a 40-minute drive. I could have Genius build me a whole new printer that will take my cheap cartridge in that amount of time.

      Besides, I am not trusted with a master key at the workplace. AND they seem to have changed the keypad code without informing me. Not that I've tried to get in there, you know, on days when I was not scheduled to work.

      With my Even Steven on the fritz, I would probably cause a paper jam and be discovered. No more margarita bar for me! And forget about my future access to the swimming pool under the teacher workroom.

      Delete
  4. Send it back. I won't accept packages like that .... they don't call me the Nazi bitch for nothing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Here's the thing. It's not like a live person knocked on my door and handed me that package. I found a key in my mailbox (remember her, EmBee?) that fits one of the four metal storage locker thingies concreted into the ground beside Mailbox Row. I opened the right one (finally, because it's not like they key is coded for the box) and saw my ink cartridge. I was as crushed as the corner of that expensive parcel.

      I don't have your gumption. I am sure that HP would deny damage, and the folks at the dead-mouse-smelling post office would deny damage, and my rural carrier, especially, would deny damage. I'm not up to so much finger-pointing.

      They might accuse me of mailing a broken ink cartridge to myself to get a payoff in insurance money. (That last part is for Joe H.)

      Delete