Surely, Though a Bit Slowly

Hick is planning to sign paperwork and hand over keys to the realtor this week for the Double Hovel flip house(s). He has almost everything done that she suggested. Well. As much as he's told me. Seems he left out a couple things. White paint has been applied to the front and side of the Beauty Shop efficiency cottage. 

Still no rock garden or anything appealing under the front window. That appears to be Hick's "burn pile" in the background, for twigs and small limbs and wood scraps. 

Hick's buddy has still not delivered the load of gravel that will go in the area behind the burn pile, along that fence. Hick at first told me it had been done. Maybe he meant ordering it! I guess off-road parking will be a selling point, although many people around here just park on the street.

Tuesday, Hick was killing the weeds that are growing in the fence around the main house. He also sent me a picture of a surprise project:

"Painted back of shed too"

Heh, heh! Hope you can see it! It's like when Hick took The Pony on his college tour at the University of Oklahoma, and pictures were of a tiny Pony amidst a vast panoramic view. Oh, look! There's Old Buddy, who is back, over-the-weather rather than under it. He helped Hick paint the side of the Beauty Shop on Monday. In case you can't see the shed, I'll zoom in:

It's an eyesore that I might have torn down, but as the realtor told Hick, people like a place to put their stuff. Also, in the full picture, you can see that Hick has taken his tractor to town, to use for spreading that gravel when it arrives. He left the trailer over in The Pony's back yard.

Now Hick needs to find some cleaner for scrubbing the bathtub some more in the main house, as the realtor instructed! He said CLR. I asked if it was rust or lime scale, and he said no, it looked like soap scum buildup. Which I said needed something foamy, with the scrubbing bubbles. Maybe Soft Scrub. I told him to read the bottles and see what they're good for. Hope he doesn't mix anything that shouldn't be mixed! My old principal did that when he moved, and had chemical burns on his forearms! 

Gotta keep Hick working!

Hick Fulfills at Least Half His Commitment

Grab those smelling salts again! Make sure you're sitting down. If you're a drinking person, you might want to take a shot.

HICK PAINTED THE BEAUTY SHOP WHITE!

Sort of...

Wednesday morning at 8:00, Hick sent me a picture and text. 

"There is the first section white."

And another at 9:45. 

"Whole front painted will need another coat."

By afternoon, another picture at 1:55.

"Two coats all in front finished."

To be fair, the side wall has not been painted. Old Buddy has texted in sick all week, so Hick has been working alone. He says he's planning to do the side wall as soon as Old Buddy can help. I don't see it happening until at least Monday. Hick spends Friday/Saturday/Sunday at his SUS2 (Storage Unit Store 2), and I doubt Old Buddy will make a miraculous recovery for one day, when he typically doesn't work Fridays anyway.

Huh. Now that I look at it, the brown color was kind of pretty... But not worth having to explain to casual observers that it really isn't PLYWOOD, but "CEDAR SIDING." Even with stain, it would look like a patch job to me.

Hick Gives Me Written Evidence

Not wanting to be outsmarted by smartypants Hick again, I told him I would only believe his statements about the Beauty Shop flip house if I had it in writing. Mainly the part about painting the other two walls white, to match the remaining ones. 

Hick must have still been suffering from a merciless browbeating Sunday evening, because by noon:45 on Monday, he sent me a picture with a text.

"Window trim painted and i am getting the white paint for outside now"

So there was his commitment. Still, knowing Hick, I was a bit wary. He came home with a receipt he said was for white paint. The receipt doesn't mention white, but I'm beginning to believe the transformation might actually happen. 

Heady with assumed victory, I pushed my luck further on Tuesday at 12:30, just before the realtor was scheduled to meet Hick at 1:00.

"A little rock garden would improve the area under the window."

"Yes im going to do something there"

Not a statement that sends my heart racing at the thought of a beautiful rock garden. But at least enough to pacify me for now. And hope that he will mention it to the realtor.

FYI, here's what the Beauty Shop originally looked like.

Aside from all of the outer walls matching back then, I think Hick has done good job!

Here We Go Again With Hick's Buddy System

Everybody is an expert, you know, when it comes to giving advice on what is best for presenting the Beauty Shop half of the Double Hovel flip house(s) for sale. Everybody except VAL!

"My buddy says that we should leave the front and side like that, so the realtor can ask the buyer what color they want it painted."

"That's the stupidest thing I ever heard! It will discourage more people from looking at it. THEN you will be doing the painting for free for a prospective buyer, after they've made an offer."

"No. They will like that they can get it the color they want."

"But all the other people who drive by to look, or see it in the pictures from the realtor, will think it looks like an unfinished flip, with plywood on the outside to patch up something wrong."

"It's NOT PLYWOOD! It's cedar siding! They sell it everywhere! Lowe's, Menards. Everywhere!"

"The average person driving by will only see it and think plywood. Only flippers like you, who want to save a buck, will know that it's "cedar siding." There's a house on the road over by Walmart with that "siding." I've told you from the first time I saw it that it looked like crap! CHEAP! And they even have the whole house painted white. But since I saw it before painting, I know what it is. And I can see the pattern. It does not fit in with all the other houses in that subdivision. It looks cheap."

"Well, it's siding. Not plywood. Everybody else knows that but you."

"You are going to cost us money by insisting on this "cedar siding." It does not look good. It will scare away prospective buyers."

"That's why I'm going to ask the realtor about it this week."

Yeah. We'll see. Last I heard, Hick was going to contact the realtor on Friday. He's got a few projects that need completion before getting pictures of the Beauty Shop efficiency cottage out for prospective buyers to see.

Three Is the Unfairest Number

In the continuing saga of The Little Efficiency Cottage That Could (make Val crazy), Hick has finished putting plywood "cedar siding" on the side where he took out a window, and also on the front, where he said the siding "had some holes in it."

As you surely recall, Val wishes for the whole structure to be one color: white. It only seems right that all four walls of a house should match. However, the monkey wrench in this equation is that The Pony is an equal partner in this venture, financially. Still, that only gives him 1/3 voice in decisions. Usually, The Pony and I agree on matters such as a stove instead of a cooktop, and making this structure a house instead of a garage. That's our common sense gene, which is sometimes questionable in Hick's DNA.

I fear that The Pony has inherited Hick's aesthetic (non)sensibilities. Wednesday, The Pony said he likes the idea of a STAIN applied to those two "cedar siding" walls!!!

Here's the latest picture of the Beauty Shop half of the Double Hovel flip house(s).

"I still think Dad should paint it all white."

"I'm not sure. I personally lean toward a stain like on my back wall, but to be honest, I just like dark colors."

"I think they all should match."

"I feel like this would be decent on it."

Heh, heh! That's a picture of The Pony's back wall! You may recall that I was against that as well, but since The Pony is paying for his house, it wasn't my place to make that decision.

Anyhoo, there's a chance I could be outvoted on my white paint demand! Fair is fair. Majority rules on this project.

Meanwhile, Hick is planning to finish painting on the interior Thursday, get two bar stools to put at the kitchen bar, install the dryer next to the washer in the utility closet in the bedroom, and call a realtor on Friday. 

The end is in sight!

Just When You Thought It Was Bad Enough

Never underestimate Hick when I comes to bad choices. Oh, he's good with construction knowledge. But aesthetics are his downfall. 

Monday morning, I got a text that elevated my concern for the resale value of the Beauty Shop half of the Double Hovel flip house.

"Sideing [Hick's spelling, not mine] on front corner. We can figure out color when I have it all on"

WAIT A MINUTE!!! ALL ON??? How much more can Hick lower the value on this property?

"What was wrong with the other siding on the front?"

"It had some holes in it"

Huh. That's news to me! I thought it was fine.

Now we are looking at TWO sides of that little "efficiency cottage" having different siding from the others. I doubt Hick would have gone to this trouble if he just left it as a garage. But drawing attention to an exterior that is not the same for all four sides does not bode well for the asking price. Says Val, an expert in real estate value...

Please, PLEASE let Hick listen to reason for painting that "cedar siding" white, like the rest of that little efficiency cottage!

It boggles my mind to put all this work and money into such a property, and then cut corners at the end, just for Hick's ego.

At the Risk of Making Good-Guy Hick Unpopular

I know Hick only has sight in one eye, but how can he be so blind??? I told him I put up a picture of the Beauty Shop with that "cedar siding," and that the opinions of "my people" were not favorable.

"All my buddies say it looks good!"

"My people say it looks bad!"

I elaborated a bit about the specifics.

"Huh. Where are they from?"

"What, like it's good enough for the denizens of Backroads?"

"Like I said, my buddies like it."

"That's another thing. Of course your buddies are not going to criticize something you've done. They're your buddies!"

"I told you I was doing it, and you said it was fine."

"NO! I did NOT! I hate that stuff! Why would I say it was fine? I didn't even like it on The Pony's house! You did NOT ask me about this. Last I heard, you were going to patch that white vinyl siding. You SAID you asked The Pony, and he said it was fine. I haven't asked The Pony if that's true."

"You said it was okay."

"No! I didn't. It will lower the price we can get on this property. It's not worth doing this to save us each a couple hundred dollars on materials. You need to ask a realtor about it!"

"I'll do just that! I'm hoping to have it ready to list with a realtor by the end of this week."

"Fine! We'll see what they say. Since you won't listen to me and my people!"

I can't believe a licensed realtor will agree with Hick that this siding is fine! I'm not even sure that Hick will actually paint it white, to somewhat camouflage this shortcut! Since he kept saying that it wasn't yet stained!

What in the Not-Heaven is Hick thinking??? Is his ego getting in the way of common sense?

Further discussion with Hick (quite unproductive), informed me that:

I don't know nothin'. 

I never get out. 

A house one street down from ours has the front a different color than the rest.

Out on the highway, a new subdivision has houses with different colored sides.

All the old ladies at the Senior Center like this "cedar siding."

The house-flipper lady at the Senior Center asked what color stain Hick planned to use.

You can't tell me nothin'.

Of course Hick will ask a realtor about the "cedar siding" affecting the value.

Hick is planning to make that side and the front the same color!?!?

I criticize everything Hick does. 

I can just do it myself if I don't like it.

Hmm. Seems as if my input is not well-received...

Please, For the Love of All That Is Not Hick-Enabling, Give Your Honest Opinion

Hick has been working on the outside of the Beauty Shop half of the Double Hovel flip house(s). He fixed the handrail on the wooden sidewalk.

Not a major overhaul, but there's a rail to hold onto while walking if you need it.

Hick is patching the siding where he removed a window. Except he's NOT! Not patching with vinyl siding like he originally told me after taking out that window.

HICK IS USING THE CHEAP CEDAR SIDING THAT HE PUT ON THE BACK OF PONY HOUSE, after I disagreed on such material!

I refuse to blow smoke up Hick's rumpus like his cronies! I think this looks terrible! It doesn't match. It's not an "accent wall." It looks like a cheap patch job. Like there was a fire, or a car drove through the side of the house, and now it must be boarded up!

Hick says, "All my buddies like it." Sure. All his buddies who kiss his rumpus in case he might throw some of his hoard their way if they need it, or wish to sell it at their own storage unit stores. I can't even believe this material is called siding! It looks like cheap (well, not-so-cheap these days) plywood. Not meant for a permanent surface on the outside of a house!

"Rail looks good. Siding is *interesting.* Can you at least paint it white? So it's less noticeable?"

"It can be painted or stained whatever color we want."

NOW Hick is saying that he likes the wood color, since his buddies say it looks good.

What say you?