"What are you doing?"
"Just a load of laundry."
"What have you got in there, a load of gravel?"
"No. Just my overalls."
"Did you leave the laundry room door open?"
"No. It's just the metal from the parts that hook the straps."
"I've heard your overalls in the dryer before. They don't sound like THAT!"
"Well, that's all it is."
"Sounds like you're destroying the dryer."
"No."
I went on about my business of driveway-walking and preparing supper. The overalls were done clanking by the time my walk was done. I didn't give it any other thought. Later that night/early morning, I put a load of laundry in the washer as I went to bed. I opened the dryer to toss in a Bounce and set the dials so it would be ready when I stumbled in around 5:30 to transfer my clothes to the dryer. Since Hick is a repeat offender of leaving the lint trap full of his clothing fuzz and cedar chips and strands of straw, despite numerous warnings...I reached down to empty it.
This is what I found in the grooves where the lint trap fits into its pocket.
I laid them on the kitchen counter for evidence. When Hick came in for lunch, I told him that apparently I was NOT as crazy as he tries to pretend, and pointed out my dryer discovery.
"THIS is what I heard in the dryer! They were laying in the cracks of the lint trap when I emptied it. Which YOU are supposed to do when you use it."
"Oh, they're just screws. I saw them on the counter this morning and wondered where they came from."
"THE DRYER! Why?"
"They must have been in my pockets. I'll take them now."
I KNEW that wasn't the sound of overalls drying. And that this proves HICK is the one who has a screw loose, not Val.
______________________________________________________________________
Let the record show that Hick does his own laundry, because he took offense during the first year of our marriage (28 years ago) when I told him that I was not going to pick his dirty clothes up off the bedroom floor, and that he should put them in the laundry hamper. He showed ME!
I thought it was going to be a fist full of pennies.
ReplyDeleteOoh! That would have been GREAT!
DeleteSo Hick has been doing his own laundry for years? 'He' showed 'you'? I don't think so! Instead he gave you a pretty sweet deal.
ReplyDeleteUnless he breaks the dryer!!
DeleteA sweet deal, but one enacted out of spite! I guess 28 years of doing his own laundry has been worth it for Hick to show me that he would not OBEY MY COMMANDS!
DeleteLet the record further show that Hick used a uniform service while working those past 28 years, so all that needed laundering was socks and underwear and weekend clothing. The the dryer had a lesser chance of being broken by him, since he bought enough clothes to last him a three-week rotation.
So Hick had a few screws loose?
ReplyDelete(Oh, I hope I was the first one with this comment.)
FIRST!
DeleteI think it's wonderful that Hick does his own laundry. Not so wonderful that he never learned to empty his pockets first.
ReplyDeleteThe Pony is definitely Hick's son. His pockets were always full of rocks. Or GEMS, as he called them, found on the school playground.
DeleteI guess if screws or other items break the machine it will be up to Hick to fix it.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he could fix it WITH THE SCREWS THAT BROKE IT! That's almost as good as a coffee table book about coffee tables, shaped like a coffee table.
DeleteWait. You're really supposed to empty your pockets before you throw stuff in the washer and dryer? Man, the internets are wonderful. I keep learnin' stuff every day.
ReplyDeleteYes. Unless it's money in the pockets. Then it should be left. That's called money laundering.
DeleteYou know that stumping you hear upstairs? Could it be...?
ReplyDeleteYou sure trained him early.
I'm almost to the point that I don't WANT to know what's stumping upstairs.
DeleteShh...Hick thinks he's the one who trained ME!