You don't know what it is, do you? That's because you don't have the eagle bloodhound eyes of Val Thevictorian. It's not the annoying toddler-car cart parked there, that blocked my way when I was inside shopping. Oh, I could have forged past it, if I had no qualms about decapitating a little blond girl who was lolling her head out the side as her inconsiderate mother blocked both me and a stockboy while parked for no apparent reason in the middle of the main aisle. Lucky for that little girl, Val has qualms.
Look closer there. Up against the wall, in the center of the picture. Not at the stains and weathered gum impersonating pennies. Had the autumn 11:30 a.m. sun penetrated the shadows, you might have caught a glint of the business end. Here:
It's a NAIL FILE! What in the Not-Heaven placed this item here in front of Country Mart for Val to see on her way out? A ne'er-do-well from an aborted robbery attempt? A butter-fingered family member of an inmate at the local prison, who unknowingly delivered a plain old cake to her loved one? A distracted, fashion-conscious housewife who wanted her nails to look presentable as she did her shopping? A delivery boy from the nearby Domino's who lost his concealed weapon for self-protection?
Unlike my rightful pennies, I did not pick up this nail file. It could be forensic evidence for a crime, if future charges are filed. Heh, heh! I crack myself up sometimes! Get it? If charges are FILED!
I'm hoping that those spots on the concrete are just rust stains.
At a perfect right angle to the wall, what are the odds?
ReplyDeleteI know! I couldn't have lined it up so perfectly with a carpenter's square and one of those chalk-covered twine thingies.
DeleteIf charges are filed lol, I would have left it right there also.
ReplyDeleteYeah. You never know where it might have been. Maybe jammed between somebody's ribs.
DeleteI wouldn't pick it up either, who knows what someone might have been filing with it? grungy toenails?, or, like you said, criminal purposes like picking a car lock.
ReplyDeleteOoh! Yuck! I didn't even thing about FEET! Or the lock-picking, either. I could have left my fingerprints at a crime scene!
DeleteA nail file? I thought it was one of those pumpkin-carving knives for kids.
ReplyDeleteNah. It had the crosshatching rough pattern on the blade like a nail file. Or a rasp.
DeleteNo pumpkins in sight, either. You'd think Country Mart would be more savvy about getting in on the seasonal merchandise.
I found a spoon in which someone had cooked meth! Yikes!
ReplyDeleteOkay! You win! I only saw the cardboard boxes full of meth-makings while the sheriff's cars were still processing them on our gravel road.
DeleteOh, I guess Linda didn't tell you? She found a dime when we were at our book signing event on Saturday.
ReplyDeleteWell, that's the SECOND thing she's been holding out on! If I didn't envy her the meth spoon...I DEFINITELY covet that found dime.
DeleteOkay, I have to tell you that I was reading and checking in a camper and I thought you were talking about a failed abortion, instead of an aborted robbery attempt. That was sobering!
ReplyDeleteYikes! People should not read my blog sober, I guess! A snort or two, and it might read like normal.
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