Stinker Sailor Folgers Spy
Jason Jack Flint, code name "The Albatross," joined the CIA reluctantly. His father's stellar career made him a legacy. First trying his hand as a deodorant tester, then a merchant marine, then a coffee taster, JJ could not find a career that fit. Now, as an intelligence agent, JJ realizes he's in over his head.
For months JJ has posed as a homeless man in an unnamed foreign city. He sneaks into an abandoned warehouse each week, the perfect surveillance location for watching high-level operatives come and go in the building across the street. Unfortunately, the counterspies are onto JJ. Too late, he realizes they have coated the window pane with superglue. Nobody knows his identity. Nobody knows where he is. Unable to reach his predetermined data drop point three days ago, JJ waits. Will anyone miss JJ? Or will he become one of the agents who simply disappear forever? (150 words)
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Fake Reviews
for Val’s Fake Book
La Brea Tar Pits..."Every now and then, buried under the muck, you find a shining treasure like a dragonfly encased in amber. Thevictorian's fake book is NOT one of these treasures, and should remain buried for eternity."
Catchmaster Glue Trap..."Don't be lured in by Thevictorian's book blurb! You'll regret it! Stick to your guns and avoid this fake author like the rat she it. This fake book will make you want to gnaw off your hand for shelling out the purchase price."
The Rolling Stones..."This fake book is not as sweet as brown sugar. Or any sugar at all. Thevictorian's manner of stringing together words is as shockingly inappropriate as our Sticky Fingers album cover."
Warrant..."Like everybody knows we are not actually singing about sweet cherry pie...what Thevictorian does is not actually writing. Write it in the kitchen, write it in the hall, write it in your basement lair if you have the gall. Write it like a pro, write it like a champ, you ain't foolin' no one, you no-talent scamp!"
Sugar Ray Leonard..."Thevictorian is going to take a beatin' on this one. I'll pull no punches. She writes like she has suffered one too many concussions."
Julie Andrews as Mary Poppins..."Not even a spoonful of sugar could help you stomach this fake book! In fact, I think it should have a Mr. YUK sticker on the cover as a warning."
Honey..."Thevictorian's writing just did not crystallize for me. You could leave one of her fake books in a mummy's tomb, and it would be safe to take out hundreds of years later...because STILL nobody would read it.'"
Childhood Saying..."I'm rubber, Val's a burr. Your bad reviews bounce off me and stick to her! You'd think she had no more room for anything to stick to her by now, on this, her 79th fake book."
I want to know more about JJ, like did he break the window and get away carrying that bit of glass with him?
ReplyDeleteOR...did he struggle for many hours, trying to take off his shoe and use his toes to grasp a razor blade from the floor, used by other indigent folks to cut up their crack rocks, and lift that razor blade to his free hand, to painstakingly and painfully trim his skin loose from the glass?
DeleteThird alphabet...you got that right. Woman, you are prolific. And the Mr. Yuk stickers took me way back to the 80s. Did you channel Sugar Ray? You are a hoot.
ReplyDeleteSome parts of me are stuck in the 80s. Not the music-loving part, but the pop culture part.
DeleteI don't want to fake pre-order this fake book, I want to not read it now!!
ReplyDeleteI suppose that's a cautionary tale for fake patience.
DeleteWhat a dark story!! I wish I could read more and find out what happens to him. I hope he gets out!
ReplyDeleteSpies have a way of improvising to get themselves out of hot water. Or superglue.
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