Tuesday, February 21, 2017

I DO Keep Getting Those Funeral Plan Advertisements in the Mail...

Last week, on the way home from errand-running, I stopped by Taco Bell to pick up some lunch. I don't go there often. It's out-of-the-way unless I'm leaving the immediate Backroads area. I was more likely to patronize this establishment when I was working, since it was on my way home. I rarely did, though, because The Pony did not like the food. Except for the cinnamon twist thingies every now and then.

Well. The Pony isn't here now. And nothing was stopping me. Once I got in line, however, I remembered why we went there so infrequently, even though Hick luurrrves a Beef Burrito Supreme.

I spent 20 minutes in line waiting to pay. That's right. 20 minutes. That is NOT fast food. There were only two cars ahead of me. I swear. It was almost as if the employees made a run for the border, built a wall, climbed it, grew the ingredients, harvested them, climbed back over the wall, tore it down, and stole an aging burro escaped from Grand Canyon tours to ride back to the restaurant, and then prepare my three soft chicken tacos.

[NO POLITICAL COMMENTS! I mean it! I shan't publish them, no matter which side of the wall you're on!]

Anyhoo...I'm being facetious about those employees making a trip to Mexico for the ingredients. That's silly! I could SEE those employees the whole time! Standing around the corner of the building, in plain sight of all nine cars in the drive-thru line, having a smoke and a gossip while we waited.

I was seriously considering driving off. But once you've invested five minutes in your wait already, you think it will just be a few seconds until that line moves. Wrong! I had plenty of time to remember why we didn't go there much. And why I don't leave the window down while waiting, even thought the temps were in the high 60s. I used to complain to The Pony about the smell of sewer gas. His response being, "Um. Look what kind of food you're buying. It's probably from the people who just ate it."

Yes, I certainly re-thought my lunch choice after getting that meal home, and straining my eyes looking for the chicken in my soft chicken tacos. I've never had them from Taco Bell before. But I just didn't feel like eating worm protein that day in my usual choice of soft beef tacos.

But those aren't the most tragic details of my ill-fated fast food meal. Oh, no. It's much, much worse.

THEY GAVE ME THE SENIOR DISCOUNT!

Let the record show that I did NOT ask for the senior discount. That I am not in the habit of receiving a senior discount. That I was at the freakin' DRIVE THRU speaker, by cracky!

WTFNH? (What The Freakin' Not-Heaven?) Does my voice have a shawl draped across its shoulders while it totters past the drive-thru speaker pushing a walker with tennis balls on the feet, its vocal cords done up in a bun like Tweety's grandma's white hair?

I did a little research online. Apparently Taco Bell gives a 5% discount to patrons over 65. VAL IS NOT OVER 65!

AND...my discount equaled 10%! So I must be extra, extra old to get DOUBLE the senior discount. It was printed right on my receipt. SENIOR DISCOUNT. And subtracted, before tax.

It will be a warm day in February before Val gives Taco Bell her return business!

14 comments:

  1. You're the first person I've ever heard complaining about receiving a discount!

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    1. But I'm sure you're NOT SURPRISED!

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  2. I must be cheaper than you. I not only happily accept a senior discount, I ask for one.

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    1. I don't know if I'm more insulted that they heard my agedness in my voice, or if they have a camera on the drive-thru speaker and deduced from my appearance that I am supposedly OVER 65!

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  3. I always ask for the discount.

    The best meal at Taco Bell are the wraps, they are all wrapists you know.

    See, you ask me to not be political and I have to disobey...I'm a rebel.

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    1. Heh, heh. I should have known you would do that, seeing as how you host that POLITICAL blog of yours!

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  4. Oh dear ... I always look around when someone calls me Madam - when did I stop being a Miss and become a MADAM??? Oh, and when I was in the post office the other day I saw a big sign offering a £50 voucher to all those over 50 who opened a life insurance plan with them that day and I suddenly realised that I could apply!

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    1. Not a shock that the post office would bring you down! I am never in a happy mood when I leave there.

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  5. I guess that means you'll be going back to Taco Bell today, since it's another warm day in February?

    Are you truly a retired educator? Retired teachers ALWAYS like things cheaper. They like things free. And they don't care what they have to do to get them. Elbow a colleague out of the way to get the last stale half-doughnut in teachers' lounge... not a problem. Sneaking into the storage vault and getting two bottles of White Out instead of just one... it's happened before.

    Take the discount--take any discount--because they probably won't ever see you again.

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    1. I might get heat stroke during my driveway walk this afternoon, but I did NOT go back to Taco Bell. I had some delicious gas station chicken left over to warm up.

      I HAVE been the victim of vicious teacher elbows at the MSTA sign-up table on the morning of a back-to-school district-wide faculty breakfast! Not because everyone was in such a hurry to sign up, but because they were giving out free pocket calendars and mini notebooks. You'd think I could have outmatched those true senior discounters in my prime...but sadly, I could not.

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  6. I love my senior discounts! 10%! Sad that I don't like Taco Bell that much. That taco shell made of chicken is intriguing, though. I might give that a try if I get 10% off!

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    1. The commercials DO make that chicken shell look appealing. I'm afraid it wouldn't be the same as the one in the commercial, though, when made by those slow-moving smoke-breakers at my Taco Bell.

      My receipt gave me 10% off, but when I tried to look up Taco Bell's policy, it only said 5%. I guess I'm special. Since I'm not old enough to get it anyway.

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  7. I attended a teacher's convention once in the Ozarks, and the restaurant workers all complained teachers are the worst tippers. I'll accept any discount they want to give me! You can fool some of the people all of the time...unless they ask for an I.D.

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    1. I believe that tipper thing. My mom was the worst. She always wanted to leave a dollar. Occasionally two. I had to wait until she left the table and add more.

      I was not a good tipper, either, until I spent 5 years working at the unemployment office, and saw what the waitstaff have to deal with.

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