Tuesday, October 14, 2014

The Decapitation Machinations Are in Motion. Still.

That garage door spring in need of replacement continues to taunt me twice a day. Back in the summer, when Hick clamped it, he declared that it will work just fine, until it won't.

I don't raise or lower that door with my head exposed. When The Pony hops out with our scholarly accouterments at the end of the day, I wait until he is out of the garage and out of sight before I close that monster from the safety of T-Hoe's steel enclosure.

Today The Pony had to run the big green trash dumpster down the driveway, so he came in the front people door of the garage while I was parking. Actually, he waits until I turn off the engine. I don't know why he's so skittish. Anyhoo...he opened up the passenger side rear door and stepped on the running board to lean in and grab our stuff. I hit the garage door opener to close the garage door. Is that ironic? Anybody?

"There. I saved you from decapitation once again."

"Um. My butt is still sticking out."

"So?"

"So you don't care if a giant spring pierces my butt?"

"That's not a decapitation. Unless you have your head...never mind. That's not a decapitation."

"Huh. Note to self: Mom is okay with me getting a butt piercing later in life."

"I can't believe you'd get a butt piercing. You won't even get a tattoo of a heart with "MOM" inside."

"Piercings heal over, but tattoos are forever."

Maybe The Pony has a future as a national spokesman for body piercing.

7 comments:

  1. I see you have your own deathtrap to avoid.

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  2. I think you need to call his bluff and take The Pony to a place that pierces. Although I've never heard of anyone getting their butt pierced. However, 180 degrees from the butt, I hear, IS something that guys will get pierced.

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  3. The only thing I like less than tattoos is body piercings. The human body is beautiful just the way it is. Okay, earrings on women are acceptable.

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  4. Hmm. I'm impressed--at least you can get into your garage. Ours is too cluttered to fit a second car inside. .

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  5. joeh,
    Twice a day! And it is not disguised as exercise equipment. It flat-out says, "I'm a giant spring that has been clamped, and I could snap at any moment." I'm surprised that the Mayhem insurance guy hasn't gotten wind of this, and showed up to wrap himself around the top of my garage door.

    Sioux,
    You may frequent those types of establishments, Madam, but Val does not. I imagine such a trip would result in The Pony begging for a "MOM" tattoo.

    *****
    Stephen,
    It's good to know that you don't view human skin as one big canvas, or an even larger pincushion.

    *****
    Donna,
    Aw shucks! We have a plethora of outbuildings for our clutter. In fact, I think Hick is out building another one now.

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  6. Kathy,
    Especially when his head is...um...where he'd get a piercing.

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