"Hey, Mom!"
"Did you bowl a good game?"
"I did okay. Look what we found in the garage!" He flipped on the fluorescent office lights that Hick scavenged from some auction or dismantled office, and thrust his cell phone at the end of my nose.
"Wait! There's a glare. And that's WAY too close to my face."
"See?"
"No! It's still too close. I have my glasses on. Back off."
(SIGH) "NOW can you see it?"
"Yeah. What IS it? I have no idea what you're showing me."
"It's in the garage!"
"So...I can't tell what it is. It looks like a toy laying on a box."
"Duh! It's on the vent. Right over where you clang your door into the two-by-four every day. IT'S A BAT!"
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Haha. We don't know how long it's been there."
"Did Dad get it down?"
"Don't know. He's still outside. He's going to run electric to his barbershop."
A couple hours later, I sent The Pony to the garage to carry in a box of canned goods that I bought at Save a Lot.
"Mom. You'll be glad to know that I did not see the bat when I was in the garage. However...I heard a scritching noise when I came out. It could have been a bug...or it could have been the bat. It just didn't sound like any bug I've heard before."
I really need one of those clear plastic rain hat thingies folded up like a paper fan and stuffed in a plastic sheath that my mom used to carry in her purse when I was a kid. I'll bet she still has a supply.
What's the problem? Bats are just flying disease riddled rats.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure they like to fly into woman's hair.
ReplyDeleteBats are not a problem. In fact, they're quite helpful. You can set them up in one corner, upright, and when you need one, those bats come in handy. People use them in baseball games to swing at pitches. People can also use them as a weapon, if an intruder threatens them.
ReplyDeleteThey don't take up much space at all. What's the big deal?
Oooh, you mean THOSE kinds of bats?
Never mind.
Hick might build a cage for it, you think it might be a new pet?
ReplyDeleteStephen,
ReplyDeleteSpoken like a person who is not worried about a flying disease-riddled rat becoming entwined in one's hair as one enters one's own garage to go to and from work.
*****
joeh,
Tell that to Stephen! The number one goal and fantasy of a flying disease-riddled rat is to burrow into the bouffant or lovely lady-mullet of unsuspecting members of the weaker sex. I know this for a fact. When I was a kid, on family vacations touring assorted Missouri commercial caves, that's all my mom could talk about: "It's going to get into my hair!"
My dad did not seem at all concerned.
*****
Sioux,
I suspect there was no joy in Mudville because Casey ate the bat. Wait. I think I mistyped. Casey AT the bat. Never mind.
*****
Linda,
I'm sure Hick could and would build a cage for it. I am not looking for a new pet. Maybe he can get a few bucks for it at the auction. WAIT! Animal sales were outlawed at the auction a couple years ago. That's why we haven't been getting any new goats or chickens or turkeys or rabbits. I think that woman buying them for food ruined it for everybody.
Speaking from experience a fishing net, especially one with a long handle, is useful for the capturing of bats in the house. Heavy gloves are a good idea and having a son who thinks the whole catch-and-release thingy is cool is a bonus.
ReplyDeleteLeenie,
ReplyDeleteHEY! Now that I think of it...a fishing net is exactly what the custodian used in my old building to catch a bat that was hanging under a cafeteria table. He used the short-handled version, of course. Don't know why we had one laying around the school building. He probably rode his motorcycle home to get one.
The garage bat is a little too high for the long-handled net, which is hanging, IRONICALLY, (I think), on two nails just below him. In the plus column, The Pony and I both got haircuts today, so as to be less attractive to the bat.