Crisis Narrowly and Belatedly Averted

Genius went back to college last night.

No, he doesn't attend night school. He packed up his little red truck and hit the road, first gassing up, getting a mom-sponsored car wash to cleanse the Backroads mud from his ride, visiting Walmart to procure a few supplies, and running by his grandma's to say goodbye. He was in no hurry, you see, because he wasn't allowed back in the dorm until Sunday. However, the mind of Genius is always cranking, the gears never get a rest. He hypothesized that since incoming freshmen were allowed on campus Thursday, the newcomers would not get one key for three days, then a new one on Sunday. The locks on the dorm would most likely have been changed out Wednesday. He knew that the desk would not be staffed after 8:00 p.m. So he could just let himself in, no one the wiser, and if he was caught, the worst that could happen was that he'd be charged $25 to sleep in his own room for one night. And he would be avoiding the move-in chaos of Sunday.

Oh, Genius had a backup plan. He had a contact inside who could let him in if the key didn't work. And worst case scenario, he knew someone in another dorm that was open. I had to explain that to my mom, who was wringing her hands that Genius might do something foolish if he couldn't get in, like sleep in his truck, and freeze to death. She was elated when I reported that he called and said he was on the inside, that his key worked as planned. The old gal might have even celebrated with a bowl of slaw.

This afternoon, the phone rang. It was Genius. I was certain he was calling to tell me how much he missed me, and just wanted to hear my voice. Can you believe that was not the reason? Genius was calling from Walmart.

"Mom. I forgot my fleece blanket. The gray one on my bed. I'm looking for one at Walmart, and I can't find them. Where did you get it? What part of the store?"

"Well...it's in the bedding. In housewares. In our store, it was down at the end of the mattress covers and blankets. Near the towels, where it switches over to dishes."

"Uh huh. I'm here at the blankets. I found one that says it's a fleece, but it's not SOFT! And besides, it's $20, so that's not happening."

"There were a bunch of them just before Christmas, rolled up, all different patterns. Maybe they're on the clearance aisle. Can you ask somebody?"

The phone went dead. Perhaps a blue-vest walked by, and Genius needed to snag her with a shepherd's crook. Don't think Genius is the kind of guy who won't ask. When he was barely in kindergarten, he was always wandering off from me in Walmart to ask the electronics workers if they'd gotten in any new hard drives, or if they had Linux. Too late to call 1-800-BAD-MOM on me. Besides, that's not enough numbers.

"Mom? My call dropped. I found one. But it's a leopard print. That's the only style."

"You can get that one."

"Uh, no. Not leopard."

"You could use it until I can send your other one. Want me to mail it to you?"

"Yes. Mail it."

So...tomorrow Hick is going to take it to work in an old Amazon box and ship it to that poor shivering boy who only has a comforter to comfort him.

Funny how the whole time he was here, Genius complained how frigid our house is at 69 degrees, and how he wished he was back at school where the dorm is a normal temperature, well into the seventies.