Reuben and the Salad Bigler

Sadly, our last trip to the casino, taking The Pony halfway back to college, was not the gold mine of blog posts like the trip to bring him home. I took ZERO pictures this time. Not because I'm on the casino naughty list of scofflaws for documenting my winning slot screens. I just didn't have many winning slot screens.

I could kick myself for not getting a picture of our meal at the slaw-shorting casino restaurant! That's about the only story I have. I blame Hick. If I hadn't been in a fit of pique (more pique than usual) over his condescending attitude, I would have snapped the photo.

It all started (no, not on the day we were married 30 year ago) when we met for supper. Hick, The Pony, and I had agreed to meet in front of the restaurant at 6:45. This was at High Winds, a small casino in Miami, Oklahoma. There's never a crowd waiting to eat. We wanted some time to play, then to have our meal before they closed at 9:00.

The Pony walked by me at 6:43. I had almost lost all the money I had in a slot, and asked him to see if Hick was already at the restaurant door, one row over. The Pony returned.

"He's there. He's playing, but he's there."

So I finished losing, and we walked to the front of the restaurant. Hick said, "I'm almost done here." And kept playing. That was not a problem for me. The restaurant wasn't going anywhere.

"Okay. I'll sit down here a minute and play."

I sat down at a slot on Hick's row, about four machines away from him, directly in front of the restaurant door. I had just put in a twenty and pushed the button when Hick appeared behind me, and said, "Let's go."

"Oh. I just put this in. I haven't seen this machine before. I'd like to play it."

"Val. We said we were meeting for supper, and now it's time."

Well. There's no denying Hick his supper. Not without him having a toddler-style fit. So I cashed out, and followed him through the door, to stand and wait for a server to come up front to seat us. We were at the first table from the door, maybe 15 feet away from that slot I'd been playing. The Pony had his usual steak with baked potato and onion straws. I had the Reuben again, with onion rings. No, I did NOT ask for a side of slaw. Hick had the chicken-fried steak with mashed potatoes, and a side salad.

We ordered, and sat there looking at each other. Except for The Pony, who was glued to his phone. Ten minutes went by. Nothing. Hick mumbled that they never seem to be in much of a hurry in this place. He was wanting a refill on his water.

"Where is that girl? Can you see her?"

"Yeah. She's at the server station in the back, talking to another girl. I could be outside playing slots. It's going to take a while to cook that steak, I guess."

Hick gave me the death stare. Because it's my duty, you know, to sit and wait with him. A couple minutes later, the server came out with Hick's side salad, and promised to return with water. I was in shock. I could not believe the size of Hick's salad! I had expected a little bowl, as most side salads come.

Hick's salad was on a dinner plate! Lettuce covered the whole plate. It was mounded with shredded cheese and sliced tomato and onion. I bet 50 containers of my paid-extra side of slaw from last time would have fit inside Hick's salad! Had I known that such a salad was possible, I would have asked for a side salad!

"Huh. I guess you'll be busy eating your salad. They won't bring out the food until you're done. I might as well go out and play, as waste a half hour sitting here."

"Whatever, Val. If you think you need to go play, then do it."

"I'll be back in 10 minutes. I just want to try out that machine."

"TEN MINUTES! It's 7:12 right now."

"If the food comes first, you can send The Pony to get me. It's just outside the door."

At 7:21, The Pony appeared at my shoulder to tell me the food had arrived. You know. Because to let me return at 7:22 would have not have allowed Hick to have the upper hand. I still had $10 left. I cashed it out.

The Pony thought his steak looked smaller this time. Hick said his food was good. My Reuben LOOKED as good as last time, but when I picked it up, the bottom was soggy! Like they had not even toasted that side. AND the bread was messed up. You know how you slice it in half, and there's a square side to the crust, and a curved side? My bottom square was pared with a curved top, and my curved bottom was paired with a squared top. I had to switch them! The onion rings were good enough. They had a tempura batter, which was NOT crunchy! How do you do that? They tasted fine, though.

Let the record show that Hick flew through his meal in no time, even being filled with a gigantic salad. Then he sat. Looking at me. I was barely halfway through the first half of my sandwich. Eating with Hick always makes my stomach hurt. I finally gave him three onion rings to keep him busy. He acted like I was taking so long because the food had arrived ONE MINUTE before I came back to the table to eat it.

I really wish he would have gone out to play some slots.