Val's Most Recent Casino Weirdos

No trip to the casino would be complete without weirdos. At least for Val. Hick never seems to encounter weirdos. Maybe HE'S the weirdo!

Anyhoo...this trip wasn't too bad for weirdo sightings. We were at the casino for three hours, and part of it was spent lunching, another part trying to get A-Cad back from the valet. More on the lunching in a couple days, more on the valet at the end of the weirdo report.

Only two weirdos this time. Nothing severe. Nobody touched my slot machine, or chatted me up at the cash machine, asking if I'd had any luck. But I DID have a close-slotter.

Let the record show that Val does not shoehorn herself into a game on a busy slot row. I will go on by, and find a less populated area. I most certainly never go sit by a lone slot player when other seats are empty. That would be like seeing one member in the audience at a theater, and plopping down right next to them, to Lucy-Ethel the armrest.

After lunch, I went to a Fortune Coin slot. There were three machines in the row, all the same. Same progressive bonuses, because they were linked. I chose the slot on the left end. On the aisle. I hadn't been there five minutes when a guy sat down RIGHT NEXT TO ME! The middle slot! Never mind that there were three of the same kind on the back of them, not being played, because I could hear no sounds. So out of the five total slots available to him, this guy chose the one RIGHT NEXT TO ME!

To make matters worse, the minute he sat down, he COUGHED! Not just once. COUGHY hacked at random intervals. I hope he didn't have that Chinese bat pandemic virus! I turned my head left, towards the aisle, every time I needed to inhale. I'll take my chances with the carcinogenic cigarette smoke, by cracky!

I would have left immediately, but I was IN A BONUS when Coughy sat down. I wouldn't care one bit about hurting his tender feelings, making him wonder if I left because of him. As soon as my bonus was done ($60 on a 60-cent bet), I cashed out my ticket and left. I suppose I was meant to do that, because I went one row over to the Dancing Drums carousel, sat down, and hit the bonus in about three spins. That one paid me $60-something on an 88-cent bet.

I don't hang around after a bonus, feeding the money back. I went two rows deeper off the aisle, to one of those ram's head kind of slots that I play down at our new favorite casino. I know I've put a picture here before. Anyhoo...I put in a twenty, and started playing at a 60-cent bet. I'll be darned if my second weirdo didn't sidle up and sit down on my left. There were only two machines there, so I guess he was entitled to play. There wasn't another one like it.

This second weirdo reminded me of Coughy! It might have been the same person, but more likely a twin or a doppelganger. Because I didn't get sprayed with the corona virus.

Doppelganger Weirdo had a styrofoam cup with him. I figured it was the FREE soda, or water. He set it on his slot keyboard. Imagine my surprise when he fished in his pants pocket, and DROPPED SOME COINS in the cup. They jingled, like they landed on other coins. What in the Not-Heaven? Why would he be carrying change? You can't put coins or tokens in slots any more! Only bills or tickets. I'll be darned if he didn't then pour some of those coins into another cup on the other side!

I wasn't ready to leave that slot. I just knew I was going to get the bonus. I put in another twenty, and I DID get the bonus. Which paid me, you guessed it, $60-something. It was still counting up when Doppelganger Weirdo got up and left.

Anyhoo...like I mentioned yesterday, I think, or maybe not...I didn't leave the casino a winner, but I only lost 12% of my casino bankroll. That's as good (ALMOST) as a win, after spending three hours there. I hit several bonuses, but they were all about $60, and you have to spend money to make money. So I didn't break even. I didn't have a picture-worthy bonus, although I did take one on my very first slot.

It's not particularly noteworthy, it's just one of my current favorites to play. That was the end of a bonus that paid me $60.90, on a $1.50 bet. I'd put in two twenties by this time, still had $16.60 of the second one left when I hit the bonus. I'd been varying my bets from .50 to 1.00 to 1.50.

AND NOW, FOR THE VALET...

Hick does not always use the valet here. We used to walk in from the outside parking lot, but then my knees got more painful, and he'd drop me off, and we'd walk out together. With his hip and knee hurting, he decided to use the valet. We've used it before, depending on the weather. Their latest method is to take your phone number, so you can text them when to bring the car around. Hick does it, so I don't know the particulars. I DO know that as we were getting ready to leave, Hick looked at his phone, and said,

"That darn valet never sent me a text! How am I supposed to reply to him to bring the car around? I'm going to have to go to the window, and hope they can find our car."

Well. I did not like the sound of that. How was Hick going to prove that our car was his? He didn't have the key. THEY had the key! I still don't know how they figured it out. Hick said they let him look at GMC keys hanging on the board! It was not a very busy day at the casino. Not many cars for the valet. Hick said, "Yep, them are my keys." And they got the car for him. He had given them the whole keyring. They figured out that the valet had put Hick's phone number in wrong. Wrong area code. Though to be fair, when Hick recited the number to him, Hick left off the area code at first, then corrected himself.

Anyhoo...we were reunited with A-Cad, and made it home with most of our money, and most importantly, my lottery ticket winnings intact!