The Pony Needs a Case of Rabbit Feet

It goes without saying (but of course Val will say it) that The Pony's major jackpot of $16,633.47 at the casino on Christmas Eve would need some evening by Even Steven. Silly Val. She thought The Pony had already endured the negatives, what with those toothsome dogs on his mail route, and an unexplained rash from working in the rain, and braving the icy weather of late. But no.

The Pony fell a couple of times on the ice, and sustained a really bad bruise on his GOOD butt cheek. The one that was not punctured with dog teeth. Here's an extreme close-up picture of the bruising. It covers about 1/4 of the total area of that body part:

"The bruise on my butt is ginormous. One of the other carries went 'How are you even walking!' when she saw it." [I don't know how the other carrier saw The Pony's butt bruise.]

Tuesday, The Pony had a really bad day.

"Today's going about as badly as it can. I don't expect to be off before 7:30 at best. The icing on top of all this is that I've got a flat tire I have to deal with when I'm off to even drive home and get actually fixed tomorrow."

I told Hick, who was in a meeting with his tax man for his business taxes. But he found The Pony on his route to get the car key, and aired up the flat, and drove the car to Casey's to air up ALL the tires. It held. So no repair necessary. Hick reported that he can't believe The Pony had to deliver on that route, as all the streets were covered completely with several inches of solid ice.

On Thursday morning, The Pony reported that he had broken his glasses:

Again, I don't know how. I didn't want to dwell on the misfortune by asking.

Shortly before 8:00 a.m., The Pony discovered that there had been a water main break. On the street beside his house. Again.

"Ah. Water main break. I thought I just had a central pipe freeze. Wooo! Had literally zero water pressure this morning. Manager said Sis-Town has a water main break."

By the time he was off work at 6:00, The Pony said:

"They fixed the main break. Supposedly they were just refilling the towers since it drained two of them but I never got an alert that they had finished that. Just a boil water order now last I heard which honestly I don't care about. Home now. Barely. An old lady almost turned right into me while I was crossing by the Senior Center. And I had to swerve completely into the other lane next to the old florist. She didn't even start moving until I was halfway across the intersection."

"Your Even Stevening from your jackpot should be done by now!"

"You'd think. But this week just keeps getting worse."

Poor Pony. At least it's Thursday... His butt is not punctured. The car tire is okay. He has an old pair of glasses for seeing. No pipes were frozen in his house. There's water for showering. And the old lady missed colliding with his Rogue.

The Disappointment Is Palpable

Prognosis: negative! Variance denied!

Hick called me right after the public hearing with the Planning and Zoning Commission concerning a variance to divide our Double Hovel flip property into two lots.

"Well, that was a waste of time. I think they had their mind made up before the hearing. I was sittin' there waiting for it to start, and overheard two of them talking about it, saying there were more negatives than positives. Nobody showed up to complain. They shuffled through their papers and asked if I had anything else to add. They said something about a letter, but it wasn't my letter. I told them I was told NOT to give them my letter. And they said yes, that unless they asked for it, I shouldn't. I don't think their letter was a complaint from anybody. It looked like it was on paper with a city letterhead. I asked to see it, and they said I couldn't."

"But Denizen saw it! And she's not on the committee, and not the one asking for a variance!"

"I know. I didn't mention that part. Anyway, they basically said that if they granted this variance for me, they'd have to do it for everybody."

"I can understand that. They'd have to re-write their ordinance with a lawyer, to modify the size of the lots to what ours is."

"One lady said, 'I live in a subdivision, and I wouldn't want a lot under 10,000 square feet. I don't want anybody building a house right on top of me!' I told her the houses are ALREADY THERE! That if somebody doesn't want a house close to them, they won't buy it anyway."

"Yeah. That's how I see it. It's not like somebody would buy one of our houses, then wake up to find a house has been built right on top of them."

"The commissioner said he doesn't understand how people can't get a loan on it. Maybe I should have took Realtor with me to explain those loans without a down payment. He asked if anybody had made an offer. I told him 10-12 people had asked Realtor about buying just the little house. He said he could understand that, with a house being cheaper than renting a 1-bedroom apartment there."

"Yes. The issue is a down payment."

"The commissioner said he thinks it will sell. And another guy on the commission said, 'There's a property for you!' Like he had been looking at investment properties. So then the commissioner asked me the price, and I told him. And he said, 'How long before the realtor contract is up?' Like he might want to buy it without paying the commission."

"That's not right. I wouldn't do that to her. It's like cheating."

"A lot of people try to do that. Say they'll give you a certain price to buy it, if you tell the realtor you talked to them before you listed it."

"Well, at least we know now."

Hick sent The Pony a text of the result. The Pony replied, "Ugh." Hick also sent Realtor a text. Her reply was, "Bummer."

Let the record show that we are disappointed, but nobody needs to talk us off the ledge. We knew when we bought the property that the city ordinances decreed that the property could not be divided. We bought it with this knowledge. The city owes us no favors. It's not a case of sour grapes. Just disappointment.

Oh, and The Buddy did not show up at the meeting. Hick thinks maybe he didn't want Hick to know how he was voting. Hick said two of the five members present were discussing it, and another made a motion to deny the variance, and then another seconded the motion. The actual vote was unanimous.

A city's gonna do what a city's gonna do. They got our $125 to hold a hearing to consider the variance proposal. Not sure what the money went to, as I don't think they get paid for holding a meeting. Hick said they would have to pay the two office workers who were recording the proceedings.

Anyhoo... we will think about renting the property if it doesn't sell in a couple months when the market comes out of its winter doldrums. One month's rent will more than pay for the insurance and utility fees we've accrued since listing it in September.

Division Day Looms

The day of the public hearing about dividing our Double Hovel property is Wednesday. That's tomorrow, as I type this. Hick has been fidgety about making sure of the date. Even though the date was on a sticky note that the city secretary gave him, and on the letter that was approved for him to hand out. Somehow he got it in his head that MONDAY was the day. But no. Double- and triple-checking revealed that it was not.

Hick has a buddy on the commission that will make the final decision. The Buddy is not giving any clues, as it should be. He does answer basic questions. Says these hearings usually last about 15 minutes. That Hick needs to be there, in case citizens show up and have questions. Or in case the commission has questions. The fee has been paid that was required to request the variance. Paperwork was turned in. I can't think of anything else that would throw a monkey wrench into the proceedings, short of Hick putting his foot in his mouth. He's pretty good about NOT doing that with city officials.

Anyhoo... Hick was startled on Monday when Denizen, his one-time good friend at the Senior Center, who turned into his enemy for unknown reasons, started talking about this hearing. She has been talking to Hick a little over the past month. He doesn't know why. Thinks maybe she's mad at somebody else. Anyhoo... Denizen told Hick:

"I read your paperwork for your variance. It was FIVE PAGES LONG!"

"I only gave them one letter. It was one page."

"There was a letter in it, too."

Hick didn't pursue the subject. But he was a bit displeased when he got home.

"How did she even know anything about it? She doesn't live around that property. She didn't get a letter handed to her about the hearing. She's not on the commission. So she had NO BUSINESS getting ahold of your papers."

"Yeah. I know. But I didn't say that."

"Well. I'm sure we both know how she got it. She's married to The Buddy! I guess she just read it thinking she was entitled. I can't imagine him discussing it with her, since he's not sharing anything with you about it, and he's always been nice to you."

"Yeah. He's not giving anything away."

"I'm really glad she's been talking to you again. Because if she was still being mean, it wouldn't surprise me if she told somebody to go there and complain, just so you couldn't get your variance!"

"Nothing would surprise me."

"If you get denied, I'd have a fit, and make a complaint that some random citizen read you variance request that should have been just for the city commission."

"I don't see why they have any reason to deny the variance. I guess we'll find out."

"And FIVE PAGES? That's the pages of the code telling you how to go about requesting a variance, I'm pretty sure. That packet that you brought home, that I went through and made sure your letter had answered all the requirements."

"I'm sure that was it, too."

The meeting is late in the afternoon. I'll let you know how it goes.

Who Deserves Credit for THIS?

It's that time of year to send in tax assessment forms. Tucked inside ours was a notice of a new tax credit for senior citizens. It was passed in 2024, to take effect in 2025. Good to know. Or not...

Here's the deal. It sounds good, to help elderlies on fixed incomes so they are not hit with increasing taxes every year. But the way it is set to be implemented is a disgrace. I'm sure some Iron Man Ninja Warrior Olympic Decathlete came up with the plan. 

See what you think. Our two-page insert outlined the following details:

Eligible seniors may apply for real estate tax credits beginning March 3, 2025

Must be 62 or older, own home, have current taxes paid in full

Bring photo ID, proof of residency, documents if home is in a trust or LLC

The homestead must be occupied as the primary residence

No commercial properties are eligible

Well. That all sounds perfectly reasonable. It's the implementation that raises a red flag.

How To Sign Up

Enrollment begins March 3 and ends May 30

You will need to apply IN PERSON at the county collector's office between 9:00-3:00

What Happens During Enrollment

We request that both spouses on the deed apply in-person. NOTE: Enrollment does not require an appointment. There will be crowds. To save time, we suggest you wait until the lines are shorter, after the first week or two of each enrollment month.

When you arrive at the collector's office you will be greeted and given a number along with a short application to complete. When the next enrollment station is ready, you will present your ID (and your trust agreement if property is in a trust) and then sign an affidavit declaring your homestead's address. After your eligibility has been confirmed, you will receive copies of the documents in a folder to keep for your permanent records.

Will I Need To Re-Apply Every Year?

Yes, taxpayers must re-apply for the Senior Citizen Tax Credit every year. The county will send current tax credit recipients a reminder notice each year by mail or by electronic means. You will not need to re-apply in person to renew. However, new applicants for 2025 and in future years mut apply in-person.

Who Do I Contact For More Information?

This is a new program which is subject to change. We may not be able to answer your questions before March 1, 2025, so instead of calling we suggest that you visit your website [redacted] which will be updated with the most recent information. After the ordinance has been adopted and enrollment opens you may contact the county collector at [redacted].

THOSE are the parts that concern me. This is a tax credit for OLD PEOPLE! There will be crowds of old people. I know many are perfectly spry and able to walk a distance from the parking lot to the second floor of the courthouse and stand in line with throngs of other old people, filling out forms while standing in line waiting for county government officials to process their paperwork. 

VAL IS NOT ONE OF THOSE SPRY OLD PEOPLE!

That's our county courthouse. Sorry for the words showing through from the back side of our notice. Around on the back corner of the courthouse is a long ramp that goes from the corner of the building to the doors. There is an elevator (if it's working now) to the second floor. Parking is on the street, with perhaps two or three handicaps spaces, OR in a parking lot at the annex across the street.

Can you imagine all the elderlies hobbling along, trying to make it through the crosswalks without being mowed down by today's distracted drivers? Then standing inside for what might be hours, waiting to fill out forms for a tax credit? I'm sure it would be worthwhile if one is physically able to do so. Our property taxes just for our hillbilly mansion are over $1000 per year. I don't know how much credit would be given, if it's a percent, or based on income as well.

Just saying. This process was not thoroughly thought through! At least in my opinion.

Three Cookies Forward and Four Marshmallows Back

In my attempts to tame the wild Hick, to bend and mold him into what I WISH he would be... I've discovered that even success is a matter of one step forward and two steps back. I may eventually get my desired result, but not without consequences.

Last year for Christmas, Genius brought us a tin of cookies. Snickerdoodles. I tried one and loved it. But then I got a cold. I wasn't going to waste those cookies by eating them when I was without my sense of taste. There they sat, in their tin, on the table between Hick's recliner and the short couch. Once my minor sickness had progressed to where I had taste again, I picked up that container to enjoy a cookie.

EMPTY! 

Let the record show that I had mentioned to Hick several times that I couldn't wait until my cold was over so I could eat a cookie. Also, we had a multitude of other Christmas desserts, including Oreo Cake, Oreos, blueberry pie, Rice Krispy Treats, homemade chocolate-covered cherries, and candies sent by my sister the ex-mayor's wife from her shindig on Christmas Eve, like the ones shown on this plate from that night:

So you would think a diabetic such as Hick could have eaten his fill of sugary treats from a variety of sources, without taking every last one of those Snickerdoodles that I was saving.

This year, Genius had Snickerdoodles and some other cookie with a chocolate center. Also in the container were four marshmallows. "These marshmallows aren't for eating. They are in the tin to keep the cookies fresh. So don't think I'm giving you marshmallows as a dessert."

Since I have been cutting back, I only allow myself ONE item as a dessert after supper. The first items to be used up by me were the slices of banana nut and blueberry cake that I had bought for after Christmas Dinner. Then some of Sis's candies. She had buckeyes this year. And the turtle is always a favorite. But the very best was the peanut cluster thingies, my new favorite.

Hick minded his manners, and left the peanut clusters for me. Also one turtle, and two buckeyes, which I had specifically called for, in those numbers. Hick had the rest of the Oreo Cake again, some of the banana nut and blueberry cake slices, and the tin of cookies that Friend brought, which were Christmas shapes with icing decoration. I also told Hick that I wanted some Snickerdoodles left!

The tin containing Genius cookies was left on the kitchen counter this year, along with all other desserts. Hick even told me a couple times, "I'm leaving your Snookerdoodles that you like so much."

A few days ago, I opened the tin to get one of the Snickerdoodles, long after Hick had gone to bed. Oh, there were Snickerdoodles left for me:

Also one of the other cookies remained. Do you see what's missing? THE MARSHMALLOWS! I don't know how long ago they disappeared. I DO know that my Snickerdoodle was not as fresh as I might have liked, though to be fair, it HAS been almost three weeks from when Genius made them. Even though I was pretty sure what happened to the marshmallows, I had to ask Hick at 5:45 a.m. the next morning.

"Where did those marshmallows go that were in Genius's cookies?"

"I ate 'em."

"Did you not hear him say they were only in the tin to keep the cookies fresh?"

"Yeah. I heard that. But I wanted marshmallows."

Oh, well. A stale Snickerdoodle is better than NO Snickerdoodle. Baby steps for the taming of Hick. Some forward, some back.

The Delivery of Thousands of Pieces of Mail Starts With a Carrier in the Dark

The timing of our recent sleet/snow storms was advantageous for The Pony. On the days he was scheduled to work, the mail trucks had not been able to deliver. Then there was his regular day off, the National Day of Mourning, and a day he had scheduled for leave before knowing such a storm was brewing.

Saturday, The Pony had to return to work. He found out Friday that the person covering his route that day had not been able to make it in. So all that mail would be there waiting. And while getting ready Saturday, The Pony received a text from work.

At least The Pony had Hick swinging by to drive him to work, so no need to scrape off the new snow from his Rogue. And with temps supposed to hit the mid-30s, some melting would start. The deep snow meant that The Pony would have to wear boots, which get pretty heavy and uncomfortable by the end of the 11-mile route. He was taking his regular shoes, in case the boots became unbearable. 

As I sit here typing at 1:25, I've had no updates from The Pony. Hick must not have much business at his SUS2.5 (Storage Unit Store 2.5), because he sent a text saying that he might go by to give The Pony a ride home when he gets off work. It's the little things.

You probably never consider how many events must synchronize to enable you to pick up that junk mail out of your mailbox.

Just What We Needed

Guess who won't be driving to town for a few more days! That's right, your homebound gal Val. Our 2-4 inches of predicted snowfall overnight turned out to be about 6 inches.

That's the view out the laundry room door around 9:45. Don't worry about the dry dog water bowl. It's the OLD bowl that doesn't work. Hasn't for many years. But of course the place for it is not in the trash, but right there next to the working water bowl that you can't see, plugged into the outlet so the water won't freeze.

By noon, there was a bit more accumulation. There's Scarlett, wolfing down a treat of whole-wheat bread, and the top of Jack's head as he thinks better of trying to take it. Those dang dogs are not satisfied hanging out on the porch in the three houses and dry boards. Nope. They have to get out and roam. On my trip to town Thursday, I caught them coming up Hick and Buddy's Badly Blacktopped ice-coated Hill. Scarlett took it upon herself to follow me for a bit. She needs a job, but we're not buying any cattle or sheep!

Looks like we won't be seeing the gentle glow from the solar lights for a while.

Poor Pony! Even though he was off work Thursday for the National Day of Mourning for Jimmy Carter, he had an appointment. While trying to clean off his Rogue, he broke the scraper!

The Pony said he had to pour water on the windshield to get it cleared off. I imagine that was a tedious chore. He didn't send me the picture or tell me about it until Friday, because he didn't want me to worry. Lucky The Pony had asked for Friday off, so wasn't out in the latest blizzard. Hick will swing by and drive The Pony to work on Saturday morning, though who knows if the mail trucks made it in, and how much work there will be. Maybe just a backlog of anything that got through Tuesday and Wednesday.

Meanwhile, I'm back to sitting around, using my internet while the using's good.