Vampires and Weirdos

Will social distancing stop a vampire? I don't know. What I DO know is that it won't stop a weirdo. You know. A weirdo, who can't resist the pull of Val's weirdo magnet. Not all weirdos are bat-crap crazy. But all weirdos are still weirdos...

Tuesday, I came home from town around 3:30. I saw a kid walking along the gravel, on the dog-groomer neighbor's side of the road, even with our driveway. He looked about 14. As I turned in, Kid waved at me. Just that hold a hand up, howdy neighbor kind of gesture. So I did it back, through the window of T-Hoe, not even turning my head to make eye contact.

I continued toward the house. It's a driveway 1/10 mile long. I had told The Pony I would honk to let him know I was home, so he could carry in some groceries. At the carport, I gave a single honk as the garage door opened, and pulled in. I could see my little Jack, and Copper Jack, behind the house on a squirrel chase. They scatter when I come home.

Once I'd maneuvered T-Hoe inside without folding in the mirrors (only one works), I sat in the garage to await The Pony, and open the hatch. A movement caught my eye as the people-door opened. I assumed it was The Pony, and looked up, only to see

THAT KID WITH HIS HEAD AND SHOULDERS IN THE DOOR!

"Uh? Yeah? Did you need something?"

"Oh, I heard your dogs barking, and came down to see if something was wrong."

"No. Nothing wrong. They chase squirrels behind the house every time I come home."

"Oh. They're good dogs."

"Yes... my son is coming out to carry groceries for me..."

With that, The Pony appeared. Kid moved away from the door, and began petting the dogs on the side porch. The Pony came into the garage, and cut eyes at me. If he was more sophisticated, he might have done the crazy twirly temple finger.

"I KNOW!" I hissed. So as not to be heard by the interloper.

"I mean, WHAT?"

"I don't know! He said he heard the dogs barking, and came to see if everything was okay."

The Pony gathered up the groceries and abandoned me. I closed the main garage door, and went out the people door. The Kid was still there. I did not appreciate him waltzing onto our homestead and poking his head into the garage! What if he was one of those cabin-breaker-inners!

"Where do you live?"

"Way up the road here, on the hill."

"Oh, did my husband give you a ride in his red truck?"

"Yeah."

"He's not home right now. He took a sick lady to the hospital."

"I wondered if maybe he might have some work to do. I'm really bored."

"Yes, especially with school out for so long. I think I saw you guys down in the creek a while back. That's something to do."

"Yeah. It's nice."

"Well...like I said, my husband isn't here. I don't know if he has any work. You could ask him next time you see him."

"Okay."

Still, the Kid sat on the side porch, petting the dogs. Copper Jack was on the brick sidewalk.

"That one isn't even OUR dog!"

"I know."

"He hates me. He lets anyone else pet him but me."

Kid snapped his fingers. Copper Jack started forward, but my little spotted Jack jumped off the porch and snarled and jumped up to hang onto Copper Jack's snout. There was a scuffle as they went around the corner.

"That little one is really jealous. They fight like that a lot..."

I kept walking around the porch toward the kitchen door. The Kid finally said, "Later." As I was out of sight.

He's just a kid. But I don't want him thinking he can come hang out here. I didn't mean to invite him just by waving. Now I'm afraid it's like inviting a vampire into your home. You can't really rescind that invitation. The vampire can come and go as he pleases.

I hope vampire rules don't apply to weirdos! Even KID weirdos.