Thursday, August 17, 2017

There Goes the Sun, doo-doo-doo-doo

Maybe a few of you have heard of a little thing called a TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE SUN that is happening on Monday, August 21. If you haven't, it might be time to come out from under your rock where you've been shacking up with a GEICO caveman. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Backroads is right smack dab in the middle of the totality path. That means 100% coverage, baby! The sun goes bye-bye for a couple of minutes. Poor Pony, out in Norman, Oklahoma, will only get a partial eclipse. About 84%, I think, though I didn't take notes during my internet research. Genius, in College Town, says he'll get 99-point-something percent, and that ten miles away from him is totality. I sent both boys a pair of eclipse viewing glasses in their letter this week. For 99 cents, you can save your vision! What will they think of next?

Walmart is getting in on the action! Today I saw a bunch of displays down a main center aisle. In fact, I picked up three caps for Hick. He has quite a cap collection, you know.


I figure a guy like Hick can use three caps. I daresay he's misplaced or worn out his caps from the last total eclipse of the sun here in Backroads. Which was in 1442!!! Here's a link to a nearby community's eclipse resources.

The schools around here have canceled classes for Monday. They say that with the influx of visitors, they're not sure that they'll be able to transport students home safely. Estimates are that anywhere from 389,000 to a million people are within driving distance of our area, and may come to view the eclipse within a 30-mile radius of Backroads. I know that I am NOT going to town for my 44 oz Diet Coke that day! And I'll go without a scratch-off ticket, too! OH, NOOOO! What if a visitor buys a big winner rightfully meant for Val???? I'm starting to feel a bit light-headed.

The Man Owner at the gas station chicken store told me he's not sure if his business will be affected. However...his wife the Lady Owner must think so. There's a new sign on the door that advertises an ECLIPSE SPECIAL for a 20-piece box of chicken for $19.95. I don't know the regular price, but an 8-piece box is usually $8.95. Anyhoo...the Man Owner said that he heard the MO State Highway Patrol is putting up signs that say NO PARKING along the highway. And that they'll have a trooper stationed every 20 miles.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a flash of...well...I'm not sure what to call it...but BRILLIANCE seems like the wrong fit, what with the sun going dark on this momentous occasion. But anyhoo, as I started up the hill out of town, driving past the vacant shopping center where Genius and the solar car team charged their vehicle, and where there's a storefront without a name that Hick at one time said was an unmarked pharmacy that he was going to apply to deliver for when he retires...I had that flash of...um...insight! See, there's still a problem, with the word sight, since we'll be risking losing our sight if we look directly at the dark sun...

Anyhoo...I couldn't wait to get home and tell Hick my idea. I found him floating just below the surface of Poolio, on a raft not quite rated for his weight.

"Hey! You know that eclipse that's coming up? I just thought of something! If I was the owner of that parking lot where Genius had the solar car, I'd rope it off and charge people by the head, or by the car, for spaces to park and watch the eclipse!"

"Yeah. That's the perfect place. There's no trees in the way. It's open. There's a lot of parking."

"I know! And  people will be parking there anyway. He'll have to rope it off, or they'll park there for free, on his property! I'm not even going to town that day. It will be a mess. The paper says all the motel rooms have been reserved for a couple of years. I wouldn't be surprised if people are parked all along the blacktop highway. You know, come down the interstate and think they can get off and pull over. There's no shoulder! I'm definitely not getting out that day. I'll make my own Diet Coke."

"You know...I could rent out space in the field! We're on top of a hill. The trees are cleared. People could camp. I have the bathroom in the BARn. And an outhouse. I made that shower for the solar car team when they camped here..."

"Well, you'd have to go sit in town with a cardboard sign advertising your space and your price. Because nobody's going to find it out here. You'd have to gather up your customers and come out in a convoy. Then they'd probably complain because when you said a field, you really meant a field. Then if it rains that day, they'll complain that they didn't get to see the eclipse. I don't think it's worth it."

"Yeah. Maybe not. But that guy in town should do something!"

He should. I'll never know, though. I'm not going to town that day!
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Here's a link about the eclipse from one of our local newspapers a couple weeks ago.

http://dailyjournalonline.com/farmington-press/news/local/watch-solar-eclipse-in-nature-at-mdc-areas/article_04d76db0-5972-500c-97ec-c95917197f08.html

12 comments:

  1. Hey Val, I'm not sure if it would be worth having a bunch of out of towners parking on your property, they might think it's a resort and try to use polio and everything....but I don't think they would but then again, you know how out of towners are when they are out of town.

    Oh yea, on a serious note Cindy's Dad wanted a particular brand of chicken for supper tonight, he gave us directions that we followed to a Gas Station Chicken Store, I didn't think anything of it until we walked out the door and I kid you not lying right outside the door was a penny with Ole Lincoln looking right at us, it all popped into my head right then and I thought of you.

    Not sure if this is the same brand Gas Station Chicken Store you use but since you aren't going there on Monday, Cindy and I have your penny covered for that day.

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    1. Good! You found my Monday penny! I've got another such story coming up on Sunday. Be warned!

      You can't beat gas station chicken! It's delectable.

      Poolio is almost ready to be closed for the season. If Hick brings any sunless swimmers home with him, they'll need to use the creek or the shower Hick made out of two barrels for when the solar car team camped here last summer.

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  2. Our son is spending Sunday night with us because he feels the roads will be so packed with people flooding into Portland he won't make it in to work Monday Morning.

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    1. I think that's a good decision. I've been thinking ahead, too. Missouri has activated their emergency preparedness procedures.

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  3. I want to know how you're going to make your own diet coke! And why not buy an extra scratch ticket the day before and scratch it on the day?
    I'm not happy about millions of people coming into my city either for events, it disrupts all the bus time tables and routes are altered because of certain roads being closed for something-or-other. If I don't have to go anywhere, I don't care one bit, just stay home and let them all have at it.

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    1. Okay, perhaps MAKE is exaggerating a bit. I'm not brewing it. I mean that I'll twist the cap off a plastic 20 oz bottle (a couple of them) and pour the Diet Coke into one of my rinsed-out foam cups that I haven't stuck my thumb through, and add some Great Value Sugar Free Cherry Limeade powder mix, and ice from FRIG II.

      Buy an extra ticket and SAVE IT FOR A WHOLE DAY? I like the concept, but I don't know if I have the willpower!

      Yes, stay at home until the commotion dies down.

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  4. The Beatles... They're not country. They're not so obscure that your readers have to reach and stretch and dig into their memories to uncover their name.

    Thanks for making it easy this time...

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    1. Well, Madam, my people have my golden country oldies on the tip of their brain. It's our world here in Backroads, and you are like a young whippersnapper who might take a tour of the gas station chicken store and be assumed on a spy-gathering mission, what with all your photographs.

      Oh. You're welcome for me making it Beatle-easy.

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  5. Same crazed Apoc-eclipse going through this town. Same no-parking, same expected crowds, same weird blackened sun glasses. Good luck to all you in Backroads.

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    1. OOH! I wish I'D thought of "Apoc-eclipse" for the post I'm readying for Saturday! I think we can hold down the fort here in Outer Backroadsia, and survive without needing town things.

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  6. Here in L.A. we'll only get about 70% of the eclipse!! ;(

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    1. 70% of not seeing the sun is better than no percent of not seeing the sun!

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