Last Sunday, I was pleasantly surprised when your Asian Guy Clerk refused to take the money I offered him as payment for my 44 oz Diet Coke.
"Oh, no! It's only 81 cents now!"
"WHAT? That's a steal! It's 83 cents over at your competitor, Orb K! But they're not as good."
"I know, right? For 81 cents, I need to be drinking a lot of lemonade!"
"This is great! But it's messed up my correct change! I'll know now."
Yes, I was quite happy to get my daily 44 oz Diet Coke for less than half the price I've been paying. I missed it on Wednesday, because I went to the casino, and afterwards was compelled to get an Orb K soda and find two pennies. But I was back on Thursday, regular as clockwork.
Here's the thing. Friday, I waltzed up to the counter, virtually dancing on air, my 44 oz Diet Coke in hand, my scratch-off winners in other hand, and got my correct change ready while the Stern Old Gal clerk rang me up. After she meticulously (you should really commend her, she always says each step of the transaction out loud so there is no confusion) rang up my purchases and discounted the winnings, she said, "That's a dollar sixty-nine."
"Oh. I thought sodas were 81 cents now."
"Not any more. She changed them back."
Well. That threw a monkey wrench into Correct Change Land. I had to get a five-dollar bill out of my pocket to pay. That does not sit well with The Five Dollar Daughter.
Who in their right mind changes the price of their soda on a Friday, when it's been 81 cents all week?
I am fit to be tied, and regretting the fact that I dared to ASSUME the sodas would remain the same price for a while. Perhaps until the end of the summer.
I certainly hope you're not jacking up the price of Jack Daniels and that rot-gut whiskey that the 11:00 a.m. alcoholics favor. This smacks of those days a few months back that you randomly adjusted the price of an 8-piece chicken box. No rhyme nor reason, except that on days I was buying it, the price was $8.95, and on days I wasn't, the price mysteriously dropped to $7.95, and even $6.95.
Don't get my hopes up again. There is very little in this life that can be counted on, and the price of my 44 oz Diet Coke was one of them. Now you have allowed me to graze from a greener pasture, only to prod me right back to the barren paddock.
It's a good thing your clerks are polite and know their business, and that your Diet Coke is ambrosia. Because otherwise, I would take my business under the overpass, and buy my magical elixir at Orb K, where I find way more pennies than I find here.
Good day to you!