Sunday, June 25, 2017

Where in the Not-Heaven is Val Thevictorian's Gambling Purse?

Not only is Val capable of losing her daily prescription dose, she's also capable of losing her gambling purse. Or IS she?

Button, button, who's got the button? Nobody freakin' cares! It's a gosh darn button, by cracky! Give it up! I wouldn't spend time looking for a button. Not even if it was 14 karat gold, and I needed it to hold up my pants!

The other day, I was fiddling around with my gambling stake (no, I DON'T sit in my counting room, counting out my money). It's in my gambling purse on an end table at the end of the short couch in the living room. Whoops! There I go, giving away the secret hiding place I keep my riches. Anyhoo...I fish into that stash every now and then if I want to buy some scratch-off tickets at a store where they don't cash in big winners, or get some out of the machine at Country Mart. Then I put that money back once my winner is cashed in. It's kind of like robbing Peter to pay Paul, and then Paul returning Peter's money when they get back home with a 44 oz Diet Coke.

Anyhoo...I have a couple of little pouches in my gambling purse that prettier more normal a gal who gives a rat's patootie about her looks some women might use to hold makeup. Except mine hold folded money, and a small tube of hand lotion, and Germ-X, and a hair pick, and Chapstick, and a little square container containing a Walmart-brand Pepcid tablet, an aspirin, an ibuprofen, and an acetaminophen.

I used to have a small flat rectangular leather case with a clear plastic window that holds ID, with a metal money clip on the back. I hadn't seen that in a while. I know I took it on Casinopalooza 2 in case Genius or The Pony wanted to use it. They did not. I don't really need it now, either, because I have a little fold-up vinyl case, black with a floral print, that holds a myriad of ID, insurance cards, and player's cards in various slotted openings. But I wondered what I did with that leather money clip. Did I put it back in my OLD gambling purse? And did I maybe leave some money behind in my OLD gambling purse? Like a $20 and some ones, that I used to keep to buy lunch for me and my favorite gambling aunt?

Since I was headed out the door on the way to town, I didn't look for my OLD gambling purse. I kind of forgot about it, until I was sitting in my dark basement lair a few days later. It just hit me that I hadn't seen my OLD gambling purse in a while. In fact, the last time I remember seeing it was when I switched out all my stuff for Casinopalooza 2. That's because on the original Casinopalooza, I noticed that my sister the ex-mayor's wife had a cushy, kind of quilted, floral print Vera Bradley-looking cross-body purse. Which was much roomier than my own OLD gambling purse, which looked like this:


Mine was nowhere near big enough to be an effective gambling purse. I used to not even carry a purse in the casino. That's asking for trouble, you know. Like, "I'm a tottering old lady with money to burn, so please grab this purse and knock me down and make off with my cash." You could tattoo it on your forehead, but that's kind of permanent, and this long-strapped purse conveys the message just as effectively. Problem was, the older I get, the more I need to carry in my gambling purse. More player's cards. Medicine to take that I've put off until I'm in the vicinity of a bathroom. The lotion for dry hands from the soap in the bathroom that I use too often answering the call of the blood pressure meds. My glasses case, because I can't wear them on top of my head ALL the time. My cell phone. Of course my ID for when I win a jackpot, and my collection of player's cards. All of this too much to stuff in my pockets any more. Because while it all may fit, it tends to pull down my pants when i walk.

I toyed with the idea of getting a fancy purse like Sis. Of course, I'm a simple woman, not an ex-mayor's wife. AND when I complimented Sis on her gambling purse, she said, "Oh, Ex-Mayor got it for me because he wants me to carry his stuff." Huh. I can't imagine a day when HICK would get ME a gambling purse. It would probably be made from--no, it would BE an old burlap grain sack.

Anyhoo...I was typing up my blog, and thinking about my mom, and I remembered that some of the last cards she gave me, with a personal note written in them, and enclosed birthday or Christmas money...were still stuffed down the side of my OLD gambling purse. When I went upstairs to fix Hick some supper, I went to look for it.

Huh. I was sure my OLD gambling purse was still on the short couch. But it wasn't. Nor was it on the end table. Nor in the teal leather tote bag that it had been in before I took that tote on Casinopalooza 2. Neither was my OLD gambling purse on a chair at the kitchen table, under the window. Well. That was a fine kettle of fish. I looked in the laundry room. Sometimes if I'm picking up in a hurry, I'll set things from the kitchen in there. Nope. And it was not in the living room closet. Or in the bedroom under the little desk in the corner by the French doors to the porch.

Now I was getting worried. I don't NEED my OLD gambling purse to carry things in. But I wanted the sentimental cards. Which held money. I was sure of that. For years, I had been saving that cash for when I really wanted something. Mom was generous. And that stash had added up over the years. During my driveway walk, I mentally inventoried the house. All the places my OLD gambling purse had ever been. When I went back in, after snacking the dogs, I looked some more.

Oh, for length's sake! This post is getting too long! I'll continue it tomorrow.

Does Val find her OLD gambling purse?

18 comments:

  1. Or did Jack get a hold of it, and he and Copper used it in a game of tug-of-war?

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    1. You know that Jack is not allowed in the house! Except that week we got him as a tiny pup, and Hick was in Sweden.

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  2. You have a gambling purse...how cool is that, and it makes perfect sense too. Have a nice week!

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    1. It probably says more about me than I should reveal to the blogosphere!

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  3. Hello from Idaho. Found your blog though river. I never heard of gambling purse. I'm not much of gambler but I keep my winning in anthor pocket. But which isn't often.
    Coffee is on

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    1. Hello! I had not been aware of a gambling purse either, until I noticed that my sister the ex-mayor's wife had one. I, too, used to use the pocket technique.

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  4. Does she find her purse? Inquiring minds want to know.

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    1. I could tell you right here, but I am not one of those people who snoop to find their presents before Christmas morning. Nor do I enable others.

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  5. This sounds like me looking for my GPS gadget that fell inn a bush outside without me knowing.

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    1. At least we know how that one turned out!

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  6. You have my curiosity. Will you find your OLD gambling purse with the money inside?

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    1. That's what I was wondering, myself.

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  7. Replies
    1. You guys are awfully concerned about my money! I mean...my OLD gambling purse.

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  8. Who leaves cash in sentimental cards?? I take it out and stuff it in an envelope with pink stars on it, which lives in a hidden place in my room.
    Maybe your OLD gambling purse is in your pantry, on the third shelf, behind the sugar.
    Why? Don't ask me, it's your purse...

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    1. Oh, yeah! The old "hidden in an envelope with pink stars on it" trick!

      The safest place, you know, is wrapped in foil, at the back of the bottom shelf of the refrigerator.

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    2. Safest place is in my safe, which is where I put the laptops and cameras when I am leaving the house for any reason. Also any envelopes with pink stars on them :)

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    3. Oops! I mean, AFTER A SAFE, the safest place is the refrigerator!

      I guess that's why they call it a SAFE!

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