Hick's Presence Is Requested In Court

Hick went to court on Monday. It has nothing to do with him, and everything to do with him. Hick's a conundrum like that.

It all started about a month ago. We got a new neighbor behind us. Not like a neighbor you can chat with over the fence. Our house sits on 10 acres, with another 10 beside it, and this new neighbor has 10 acres down behind us, through the woods and across the creek. Somehow (!) Hick befriended the wife half of this couple. According to him, he was mowing the back yard and her car pulled into the driveway, so he drove up, and she said that Hick's buddy, Buddy, had suggested that she might want to meet him, since our land shares a common border.

Hick says that "Bev" is just like me. Crazy. A conspiracy theorist. "She's NUTS!" Of course, coming from Hick, that doesn't necessarily mean there's anything abnormal about the lady. Anyhoo...Bev said that the Crazy Dude who puts sticks in the middle of the road and threatens Hick with a knife and has had the sheriff called on him more times than you can shake a stick at for causing strife on the upper gravel road...has been threatening her. Allegedly.

Seems that, being a new landowner, Bev walked over to Crazy Dude's house to introduce herself. Their properties are right next to each other. Allegedly, Crazy Dude said, "I know you're a Jew. I hate Jews. I believe in Hitler's final resolution." Bev informed him that she is not Jewish (not that there's anything wrong with that), and she didn't know where he got that idea or why it should matter. Sensing that her introduction was not going well, she went back home. In the following days, Crazy Dude put up a swastika on the edge of his property, facing her property. He blasted "hate music" (couldn't get clarification on Hick as to exactly what kind of music this was, but only that Crazy Dude had done the same thing to the property owner across the road from him who had threatened to shoot Hick once upon a time). Crazy Dude also flew his drone over Bev's property on several occasions.

Bev called the sheriff, to say that she felt unsafe, and that this swastika seemed like a hate crime. The sheriff came to Crazy Dude's gate, and tooted his siren to show that he was there, and Crazy Dude tooted back with a siren. The sheriff walked up on Crazy Dude's property and asked if he was Crazy Dude, to which Crazy Dude said, "Who wants to know?" And the sheriff said, "The county sheriff," and Crazy Dude went in his house and would not answer the door. In the following days, Crazy Dude continued to fly his drone over Bev's property and blare his music.

Bev kept a journal of the encounters, and told the neighbors, to see if they have had problems with Crazy Dude. Several of the neighbors, including Hick, told Bev she needs a restraining order, since she feels harassed by Crazy Dude, and is afraid he might do her harm. She went to the courthouse and got a temporary order, but it's not good until the papers are served on Crazy Dude. The neighbors, including Hick, went to court Monday with Bev in an effort to provide supporting testimony (concerning Crazy Dude's threats during their road-blading encounters) so her restraining order can become permanent. Turns out the papers were NOT served on Crazy Dude (though Bev had been told they were), because Crazy Dude has a mean dog patrolling his property, and nobody wants to walk up and put them in the door.

So...everybody who went to court Monday wasted a day off work (except for the retired ones and Hick), and now they have to find a way to serve the papers on Crazy Dude before July 10. The excuse of the sheriff's department was that they can't force the guy to be home or come to the door when they show up. And Crazy Dude won't come to the door when he sees the police. Bev said she would pay a process server, and Hick said he knows one. (There is really no end to the skill set of Hick.)

More on this story as it develops. But here's a little tidbit (as opposed to an enormous tidbit) that I found particularly tasty.

Hick was sitting in his car on the parking lot of the courthouse annex on Monday, waiting for others to arrive. The judge hearing the hearing on Monday happened to walk by Hick's car. He looked in the car, and Hick said, "Hi [REDACTED]."

"Don't I know you?"

"Yeah. It's Hick."

"You're not going to be in my courtroom, are you?"

They know each other from way back, when Hick worked for the city, but before he ran over the old lady with the city truck. They went through firefighter training together.

Now here's where we disagree. Hick thought that exchange was perfectly acceptable, and was happy that the judge remembered him. I told him that it's really not a compliment. That the judge thought that Hick might have committed a crime, and was going to be tried in his court, in which case he would have to recuse himself.

The paper-serving saga continues...on Saturday.