Thursday, November 10, 2016

Doo, Doo, Doo, Lookin' Out for The Pony

Just got home from town, my friends
Errands I thought would never end
Got to sit down
In my dark basement lair
My phone lets out a text buzz
Seems that someone just was
Doo, doo, doo
Lookin' out for The Pony

I don't think John Fogerty would mind me borrowing his lyrics for my tale today. Besides, they help give credence to my story. Heh, heh! See what I did there?

For those of you who think Val is the only crazy one in Thevictorian family...

Last night I sent The Pony a text around 7:00.

"Everything OK with you? Did you get last week's letter?"

"I haven't checked today but as of yesterday no letter yet. I'm studying for a test now."

"Not even last week's normal letter? The one I send every week, and you get on Thursday or Friday?"

"Not as far as I recall."

"Then I need to stop sending them, or try registered mail, or some other system. I send you a letter every week. With $20 in it."

"I know. I'll text you later if any have come in. But so far nothing has for about a week and a half iirc." (I think that means If I Recall Correctly. Just like Shirley Feeney told Laverne DeFazio that RSVP means Respond So Very Promptly.)


At 11:50 p.m., my phone buzzed alive beside my basement recliner.

"The letter came today."

"You mean last week's regular letter, or the one I wrote three days ago and mailed Monday morning?"

"Haven't opened yet. Assuming last week's."

"Okay. Genius didn't get this week's letter today like he usually does. Am I addressing them right?"

"Yes. To my knowledge."

"Okay. Love you. One is on the way."

"I just read the letter. Spooky about the light in the kitchen, and I am sorry about your auto woes!"

"It was like I couldn't get a break. I really missed you when I was putting air in my tires! That kitchen light was quite a coincidence. Grandma always looked out for her boys!"

And that was it for the night. That last text I sent shortly after midnight. The furnace was kicking on and off, and the ductwork popping with contractions as it shut off. Much different from the walking, which has been absent of late. But at 1:40 I heard a thump directly over my head. That's in the boys' bathroom. I used to hear it when The Pony was here, and figured he had knocked his toothpaste off the sink, or dropped his phone. For the next hour and a half, I heard some walking in Genius's room above.

That must have been a major test, or else The Pony is using "studying" as a euphemism for "I don't want to talk to you right now." He told me he was studying on Sunday night, when I texted him about a 5.0 earthquake that had hit there within the hour (thanks, blog buddy Joe H, for alerting me!). And he told Hick that he was studying, twice, when Hick tried to communicate with him on Monday and yesterday.

This morning I went to town for several errands, one of them being to transfer money for Genius and The Pony, since Friday is a banking holiday, and more errands for me on Monday, and a doctor appointment on Tuesday. I figured I'd get their monthly allowance doled out, just in case the process hit a snag. Which it did. And as you may recall, I mailed the checks last month, and Genius's arrived five days late, and The Pony's has never been found.

This morning, I tried to mobile deposit The Pony's money seven times, from five different town locations, all showing plenty of SPRINT bars, and could not get it through. I signed in, took the pictures of the check front and back, put in the amount, and then could not CONTINUE to the next screen. I called his credit union, and the girl looked up the account, and said if I didn't get a message that it was accepted, it wasn't. She had no idea how I could make it work. "I guess it's just a snag in the app." Indeed. I did it last month. But now I can't.

I'll try again tomorrow. I think I went above and beyond the effort required for one day. Short of helicoptering the money out to Oklahoma and dropping it on The Pony's head, I don't know how much harder I can try.

Anyhoo...I got home a little before 1:00. I had just settled down in front of New Delly in my dark basement lair, ready to sip to my soon-to-be-racing heart's content from my 44 oz Diet Coke, when my phone buzzed. It was 1:20 p.m., and it was from The Pony:

"A ladybug landed on my arm while I was walking to my Chem test."

Yeah. I guess crazy is in the genes. Or we both give off the same pheromone that attracts ladybugs in mid-November.


  1. Weird things happen to country folk and their kin...

    1. What? No mention of my musical stylings?

  2. As I recall, back in the day "Studying" meant there was a "Mc Hale's Navy" Marathon on TV. (My school was not coed, a Mc Hale's Navy marathon on TV was about as good as it gets.

  3. Nothing seems to be running smoothly here, either.

    1. Even Steven will level things out. Life, like nature, runs in cycles.

  4. Maybe your late mother is telling you she got the boy's mail!!

    1. If so, that check will be safe for eternity. Mom you say...THRIFTY.

  5. I hope the ladybug brought him good luck with the Chem test.

    1. Don't think he has the results yet, but I know it gave his spirits a lift, if only by the fact that he sent me a text, unsolicited.

  6. I always think of lady bugs as good luck so maybe he'll ace that chem test.

    1. Or maybe he'll be out in the quad instead of on the 12th floor when the next fracking earthquake hits!