Remember how Val's old dog poor dumb Ann disappeared the day after the roofers put on Hick's new green metal roof? No trace was ever found. No signs of foul play. No body. We are sure she is gone for good.
I told Hick I wanted a puppy. We can't get a grown dog, because grown dogs don't respect the chickens, and must be fitted with a borrowed Mr. Shocky collar to persuade them not to eat our fine feathered friends. Poor dumb Ann learned that the hard way, and old Grizzly (the lab/beagle pound pup, earlier deceased) learned it by having a dead chicken tied around his neck. My sweet, sweet Juno was raised with the chickens, and merely chases them for sport when she thinks we're not looking. Of course she's smart enough to know that no chickens means no eggs. Not that she eats the eggs, of course, as Hick accuses her and her silky coat.
The kind of puppy I want is a german shepherd, or a border collie mixed with lab. Funny how TWICE kids at school have told me they saw just such a mix on Facebook, most recently on Friday morning. But Hick can never find them. Go figure.
Saturday, Hick came down to my dark basement lair and told me that his oldest son's wife's sister just had 8 puppies. I'm sure he meant her dog had puppies.
"They're half blue heeler and half dachshund."
"I don't know...that's not what I wanted. Dachshund? They'll hurt their back jumping off the porch!"
"But the heeler part is almost a border collie. Same thing."
"I don't know..."
"I already told him we'll take one. They're two weeks old right now. He's going over there later, and he'll send pictures."
So...it looks like Val is getting one of these puppies.
Hick told them we want a boy. I told him I want the one with the longest legs. My former BFF Google can show you what a heeler/dachshund mix looks like all grown up. Genius immediately said, "Sounds like an ugly dog." Upon receiving the pictures, he said, "It's almost as ugly as I expected." And when told to look up how they turn out, he said, "I think the grown-up ones are hideous."
So judgmental, coming from a boy who won no beautiful baby contests!