Val is NOT Pretty Boy Floyd, Baby Face Nelson, Bonnie nor Clyde, John Dillinger, or Al Capone

The Pony now has a bank account. Not that he's moving out, or paying bills, or ordering things online. He needs a way to access cash while he's gone this summer to Missouri Scholars Academy. On their website, they recommend traveler's checks. Seriously. Can you see 300 sixteen-year-olds using traveler's checks when they want to buy something. I, myself, cannot? So he's got a debit card. It only works on his account. His account only has enough money to see him through the Academy. Not taking any chances here.

The thing about a sixteen-year-old getting a debit card is that a sixteen-year-old is a minor. As such, the sixteen-year-old needs an adult linked to his account. That means that the sixteen-year-old's account pops up whenever the adult goes to use her own card at an ATM.

The Pony is a student of the world. He is quite observant, with a steel-trap mind. Many a time he's watched me drive up to our bank's ATM and withdraw cash. It's so easy for him, what with sitting directly behind me like a chauffeured passenger. All he has to do is glance out his window and take it in. Because Val is sometimes a practitioner of overkill, I took it upon myself to show The Pony how to use his new debit card last Saturday. The best-laid plans of Val herself often go awry.

I had my mom in the real passenger seat, the shotgun seat, and The Pony in his chosen perch behind me. "Look. I'll show you what to do when you need to use your card at the ATM. See? It's touch screen. Put in your pin, say you don't want a receipt, choose your transaction type, push the amount...look, both our accounts come up on mine now. See here? Mine is the one ending in XXXX. And yours is here, the one ending in YYYY. WAIT! I didn't want to do that! I barely touched it! Now it's taking that money out of your account! I'll have to drive around front and go in and deposit it back in. But we don't have a deposit slip. We'll have to use a counter deposit slip. WAIT! We don't have your account number. Oh. It will be on that receipt here from when we just put in your science fair winner's check. But I don't have my glasses. You'll have to come in with me and fill out the counter deposit slip. That's okay. It'll be a good learning experience for you. Don't worry. When you use YOUR card at an ATM, the only account that pops up will be yours. You won't have to worry about picking which one the money comes out of. Now, lets go get this straightened out."

Today after school, I told The Pony I needed to go to the bank.

"Can you not take MY money this time?"

I swear. One little mistake, and I'm going to hear about it forever. That Pony has a memory like an elephant.